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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

LadyReed

Question:Now that I know the details of what happened, is my decision to give him another chance a good idea???

Well I just wanted to write to you guys that gave me advice and let u know that he and I did talk, extensively, and we're actually on the path of forgiveness. It's going to take me a while before I can fully forgive but I will try for the sake of us. He seems sincere and as if he wants this to work. He mentioned that this relationship is home for him fro him and home is where he wants to stay. We dont live together it's not an actual home but i understand what he means. So my questions are, how can I continue to express how much I love and care about him w/o giving in too easily to the way things used to be?? Am i making the right decision in even giving him a second chance. I just need a little guidance. Any and all suggestion and answers are welcome Thanx!!!

Asked by LadyReed on 10/13/08 5 Answers»
Forseer

Answer:

Before I commented I went back and looked at your orignal question. And I have to say how very proud I am of you that you had the strength to do what you felt was the best thing for you. The comment he made "it didn't mean anything to me" is so generic, I have seen that so many times. You were fortunate enough to hear the other side of the story, and through that came the truth. Which btw he wasn't telling you. In my years, I made the mistake of wasting my life giving second changes, and forgiving and forgetting. In my case it didn't pay off, because they eventually cheated again. You are a beautiful young Woman and I hope other young Women will be inspired by your strength. And admire you for making such a difficult yet wise decision. I wish you all the best for a brighter future.

Answered by: Forseer on 11/29/09
kristen

Answer:

LadyReed, I am so proud of you. It's a difficult decision and I'm sure there will be days where you wonder if you made the right choice or if you should go back.

I'll be in prayer for your heart as it heals! I hope you have good support around you to help you through—friends and family are so important in reminding you of who you truly are. And we're always here, too!

Take care of you :)

Answered by: kristen on 10/22/08
LadyReed

Answer:

I've read your answers and thank u so much for the advice. After reading your answers, talking to him, and talking to "HER", I've decided to just let it go. I cant allow him to hurt me again and after talking to her I realized their relationship ran deeper than I even imagined so ITS OVER!!! Thanx anyway and i'll continue to update you on my healing heart....

Answered by: LadyReed on 10/19/08
LMAYO9

Answer:

Yeah this is tough. I think all you can do is try your best and see if it all works out. I'm already in awe of you for giving him another chance. I'm not sure that I could be that mature and try to work things out. But if you really have strong feelings for this guy and you think it's worth giving another shot, then you owe it to yourself to give it a try. Good luck!

Answered by: LMAYO9 on 10/13/08
kristen

Answer:

Only you can know if this is the right decision, and I think all you can do now is take it one day at a time! If he is as sincere as he says he is then there is hope that you'll make it last.

Forgiveness is easy to say, and harder to practice. It takes a lot of courage to let someone back into your life and to trust again, even if you've forgiven the act.

Just be yourself, let your emotions come up as you feel them, and don't try to make it all "like it used to be" right away. You'll both evolve in this, in your own time. Thanks so much for the update!

Answered by: kristen on 10/13/08
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