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MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

ciara1317

Question:Will this marriage work?

I recently got married on the 2nd of September. He was a guy that I had met during a very hard time in my life. It was good in the beginning and then it got bad, then good again...typical relationship. But now each day he comes home from work he checks my computer to see who I speak to, what I look at online, and if there is anything he doesn't like he will block it. My sister and I talk to one another about everything, well he doesn't think that is right and so he has blocked her from my messenger continuously...I have recently told him if he does not change I will leave. Instead of saying he will change, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Leave you laptop" I said I would not due to the fact that it is mine. He threatens to take it to work with him now. I can't take anymore of this. I grew up with a very strict father, I feel like I am back home. Should I try to save this marriage or get out before it gets worse?

Asked by ciara1317 on 9/30/08 3 Answers»
haifa1235

Answer:

he seems to treat you like a child and he doesnt seem to respect you at all.
he is very insecure maybe he thinks your going to have an affair thats why he is acting like this. talk to him and reassure him that he is the only one and there is no need for him to worry and if he contineus leave his Ass.

Answered by: haifa1235 on 10/27/08
runnindownadream

Answer:

I've heard that one of the earliest signs of an abusive relationship is when your significant other tries to stop you from having communication with family and friends. It's not cool at all that he doesn't want you to talk to your sister. It's as if he has something to hide or something. I'm sorry to come off so harsh, but I was with a real jerk for a long time and I wish someone would have been straight up with me.

Answered by: runnindownadream on 10/3/08
VictoriaB

Answer:

I don't like to hear that you are under someone's thumb like this. No one should threaten you or bully you. That's not how a loving relationship is supposed to work. It sounds like there is a fundamental trust issue.

I think you need to understand why there is so little trust. Marriage, like any other relationship, needs a solid footing to survive. Trust is necessary as is respect, love, friendship, honesty... You two need to be able to communicate open and honestly about what you're feeling, what your hopes and dreams are for this marriage.

If you don't think you can have those kinds of conversations on your own, maybe you can find a counselor to help mediate the discussions.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 9/30/08
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