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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

BeautifulGirl

Question:How do I tell him it's over?

I've been with him for 5 yrs in total. We've been living together since my son was born and he is 3 yrs old now. I just don't feel that I love him anymore. I've decided to break up with him, but I don't know how to start that conversation. I've tried it before, but ended up staying with him.

Asked by BeautifulGirl on 9/9/08 3 Answers»
aliciak

Answer:

Do you think he is at all on the same page? What was his response like the last time?

Answered by: aliciak on 9/16/08
bstarr

Answer:

It's true that as long as you have someone else in your life you won't be open to meeting someone new. And, I'm not saying that's what you're after, but if you don't love this person it's no good to postpone the inevitable.

Try and make a clean break. Write it out for yourself and make some notes. Practice what you are going to say if you have to, but make sure to say it and be firm about it and fair ... you've both devoted a fair amount of time to each other, so you can't expect him to just disappear, but if he knows you don't love him and want to move on, he should respect your wishes and want to find someone for himself who will love him the way he wants to be loved.

Like Kiki says, you can still be friends, or be in each others lives to a certain degree if that's what you both decide.

Lead with love in your heart. And a clear mind. With any luck it will all work out alright.

Answered by: bstarr on 9/11/08
Kiki76

Answer:

Honesty is always the best policy. You're so young and have so much out there for you. If you are really sure you can't work it out with him, sever your ties now while you and your son can both move on. He can still be a part of the baby's life (and therefore will be part of yours) but if you are certain it's time to move on, and don't want to seek counseling to work on your relationship, then go.

Answered by: Kiki76 on 9/9/08
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