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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

runnindownadream

Question:Have you been the other woman?

Sometimes life's not black and white and we end up in a grey area. Have you ever ended up as the other woman? How did you deal with it?

Asked by runnindownadream on 9/5/08 2 Answers»
Kiki76

Answer:

Unfortunately, yes. I have been. It was college, the summer before senior year. I began an emotional affair long-distance with a friend's bf (they were "on a break" and broke up for good during this time.) When we all came back to school that fall it was awful. Of course, being young none of us dealt with it well. They married and divorced, we don't speak. It's never worth it IMO, to be with someone who can't give you 100% of themselves b/c they are with someone else.

Answered by: Kiki76 on 9/5/08
bstarr

Answer:

Oooo. What a great question.

Truth be told, I have been the other woman. I'm not proud of it ... the man was married and I broke one of my own rules in a sense ... having been married to someone who was unfaithful and felt the deep pains of that experience I said I would not do that to anyone else, but as you say, things are not always black and white and this was someone I had been in love with for a long time and lost touch with. We had always felt ourselves to be soulmates and when we reconnected it was just too hard not to want to be together, even when rationally we knew it was the wrong thing to do. (Or, that we weren't doing the right thing)

In the end, though, we drifted back apart because of guilt and the difficulty of making something like that work. I did not want him to leave his wife and I don't think he wanted to leave his wife, but no good can come of a situation like that . You really can't have it both ways.


Answered by: bstarr on 9/5/08
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