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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

Anonymous

Question:Why do I keep feeling like I need to get the upper hand? I can't stand to see that he is moving on without me.. and ok with it!

I ended the relationship but because of some shared assets I ended up speaking to my ex and asking him if he wanted to reconcile. He said he had to think about it.Now I feel like he's breaking up with me! He hasn't contacted me at all!If he wanted to get back together he would show it right? Why did I have to go and ask him that?! What I want to know now is how do I turn it around so that I get the upper hand or should I just leave it as it is without contacting him to let him know that I am moving on whether he calls me or not (cuz i am)? I feel very upset and hurt when I think about how he has manipulated me in the past and even now. How (and when) can I stop caring? What should I do now? I feel like it's a game of chess. I feel so used.

Asked by Anonymous on 7/20/08 3 Answers»
MiracleMan

Answer:

First of ALL, NO ONE needs the upper hand, it should be MUTUAL!
Secondly, IF he loved you he would've reconciled immediately, and WOULDN'T have to think about it!!
Thirdly, just move along, and live YOUR own life not his!!!

Answered by: MiracleMan on 8/13/08
emd1121

Answer:

Don't beat yourself up! Maybe he is playing a game. Do you really want to get back with him? If not, just let it drop. I recently broke up with someone that was constantly manipulating and playing games. Look at it this way, it was a nice little reminder from the universe why you broke up with him in the first place. Who cares what he thinks? Living well is the best revenge!

Answered by: emd1121 on 7/21/08
1godessoflight

Answer:

You need to forgive yourself and work on forgiving others. Forgiving is freedom.

Answered by: 1godessoflight on 7/21/08
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