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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

STARRSHINE

Question:WHY IS BREAKING UP SO HARD TO GET OVER

MY FIANCEE AND I HAVE BEEN BROKEN UP FOR THE LAST 2YRS
WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11YRS
HE HAS CHEATEDON ME THREE TIMES I TOOK HOM BACK TWO TIMES THE THREE TIME I LEFT HIM WHEN I LEFT HE MOVED THE GIRL IN OUR HOUSE THAT WE GOT TOGETHER
BUT HE STILL COMES AND SEE ME HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX,HE WANTS ME TO GIVE HIM MONEY, HELP HIM OUT WITH HIS BILLS BUT I KNOW ITS NOT RIGHT.BUT IF HE HAS HER THERE WHAT DO HE NEED ME FOR
HES SAYS HE LOVE HER CAUSE SHE DONT LIE TO HIM HE LOVES ME CAUSE IM A GREAT PROVIDER AND IM THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN SATISFY HIS SEX CRAVING I KNOW ITS NOT RIGHT FOR ME TO SEE HIM BUT SHE BROKE UP MY HOME SO I FEEL IM GIVING HER WHAT SHE GAVE ME BY STILL SEEING HIM I KNOW THAT IS WRONG I WANT HIM BUT I DONT WANT HIM CAUSE OF THE PAIN HE CAUSE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO

Asked by STARRSHINE on 5/21/08 2 Answers»
emd1121

Answer:

Me too Cheryl. That's what he was TOXIC. Not sure if he was cheating on me, but I literally took care of everything for him. He's been texting me and hooking up with me and I just found out from someone he has another girl moving in with him! Seriously, Starrshine, LOOSE HIM! CHANGE YOUR NUMBER!!!! It will hurt at first, but you will feel like a better person!
Erin

Answered by: emd1121 on 7/10/08
lyrehC_nnyL

Answer:

Hi - My name is Cheryl - I just got out of a 9 year relationship with someone who was toxic to me. It was (and is) very hard as we are still friends. I left in November of 2007 and just can't seem to break all of the ties. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I deserve better - I was being used also - not necessarily for money but I was always the errand runner, sex object - etc. - there was no other woman but he pretty much came and went as he pleased - It's ME who has the problem - as long as I keep the door open - why wouldn't he keep coming back - soooooooo my advice to you is the same advice I keep giving myself - break it off completely! I haven't done it yet either but that is the answer.

Answered by: lyrehC_nnyL on 5/22/08
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