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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

flybutterfly

Question:Why is it that every time you think you are over it, he tells you something else and you are back where you started again?

My divorce was final in March and I thought that this would help me leave all the pain behind. Yesterday, my ex asks me if I can watch the kids on his week because he is going to the islands with the girlfriend to get married. I did not get upset but after I hung up I was devastated. Why can't I just let go?

Asked by flybutterfly on 5/14/08 2 Answers»
frobby52

Answer:

Because you haven't let go completely and time will heal that. I understand what you are going through, I am in a similar situation. As long as I don't hear from her or see her I am okay, but as soon as I do these feelings start to surface..but I ask myself one question, why cry over someone who doesn't want to be with me..Life is to short

Answered by: frobby52 on 5/21/08
oldgold

Answer:

Let go or get dragged.
Nature abhors a vacuum. I "let go" and, at the earliest opportunity it gets sucked right back in. Over time it was my experience that when I was able to SUBSTITUTE positive thoughts for the negative ones, and FILL the wretched emptiness with some ACTION, doing something for somebody else (thankfully she left our 4 yr. old son with me, THAT kept me busy), I steadily got healthier, even happier. It also helped, in the early days, whenever I was suffering under the sense of the injustice of it all, to yell out loud, almost anywhere, "Burn in hell J*****." like from the movie What About Bob? Laughter IS great medicine. Finally, and it's only my opinion, asking you to babysit so he can traipse off to the islands to get married is a chump move. He sounds selfish, you will be happier without him. Good luck!

Answered by: oldgold on 5/17/08
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