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MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

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Melissa Kantor

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maryejj0564

Question:Can he love me and still need a break from the relationship?

My boyfriend of 15 months told me he needs a break from our relationship. In this time, we only had 2-3 issues where we didn't agree and I wouldn't call it a fight. Also, during our time together, he was unemployed during most of it and very frustrated. I never once made him feel like less of a man and always made sure to support him. He says he loves me, loves being with me, and I'm his best friend, but just doesn't know if he wants a life with me. He also insists there is no one else. He said he can only give his friendship now. What gives?

Asked by maryejj0564 on 4/25/08 3 Answers»
mtannehill

Answer:

i definitly feel like i can relate to this, i have been dating a guy that has been doing this to me off and on for 13 months, i fall deeper in love, perhaps its becuase i know i cant have him, and he keeps playing the roller coaster ride, he loves me, we are best friends, says we are in a relationship, but that we are not commited, that we were exclusive but would never say the boyfriend girlfriend terms, he would say "this is my girl", though....so much confusion, so much pain, so much anger, not feeling good enough just becuase they cant make a decision. From my experience i will tell you this, if you have a desire to have him back and make it work, then let it go now...i should have done that a long time ago, saved face, been stronger, rather i pretty much begged and pleeded and tried to convince him that it was something he wanted and it only pushes them away more.. in the last week that i have not spoken to him, we have technically been broken up for a few weeks now, i have gotten stronger and although i love him so much still and miss him and a part of me secretly holds hope that he will conme back, i am seriously working on myself and my insecurities and it feels great!!!

Answered by: mtannehill on 2/17/11
ceara_18

Answer:

It seems that he cares for you, but he probably wants to date other people, or already has one on the side. Trust me, seems like guys use this line when there is someone else in mind. I used the same line on my ex, just to see someone else, but didnt want to hurt his feelings. The good news is it is not you. It is him, and if he is keeping another girl in mind, he will probably continue this cycle with every girl he dates. Let me ask you a question, has he ever cheated or done anything with any girl in his past? Have you noticed anything suspicious, such as pictures or phone calls? Why dont you open up to other men, start going on dates, and back away from him. If you dont answer his calls as much or see him as much, he might realize what he has lost and come back wanting more than friendship. This is something that I am going through now.

Answered by: ceara_18 on 5/28/08
Adriana

Answer:

I feel for you...And honestly from my experience, I believe the answer is no. Yes he can still care about you and love you in that way but the very fact that he wants a break is just he's way of letting you down easy and not hurting you as much by saying he's just completely done. I also believe it's a backup because he doesn't want to lose you completely in case he doesn't find someone else and he knows you'll be there. My ex said the same thing at first that he wants a break and then it turned into he wants to breakup and then that turned into a roller coaster ride for a few months of him saying he missed me one day and then the next wanting to stay broken up. It's been 7 months now and it all started from him saying he wanted a break & mind you we were together 7 years and he was just able to cut our relationship off(which I still don't understand how it was so easy for him)...he also has told me many of the things your guy has told you...like he hates that he's lost his best friend, talking to me makes his day better, still loves me, misses me and hopes to have a future with me but doesn't know what the future holds...I do believe there's a little percent that he'll run back to you because he might just realize that he truly loves you but in order for that to happen I believe you guys must cut all ties and since it is a small percent that that may actually happen I suggest skipping the emotional roller coaster and cut all ties from him now & truly go on relearning how to live life without him again, don't wait around...if he really love you, he will be back! Hope that helped a bit. Best wishes to you during this hard time.

Answered by: Adriana on 4/25/08
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