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MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

storybkdolls

Question:What do you do when you discover your partner is the supreme con artist ?

I have been taken for a ride by the best sociopath con artist, how could I be so DUMB?

Asked by storybkdolls on 4/20/08 2 Answers»
letmeout5

Answer:

I wish I had an answer for you, and for myself as well. I am new here. I am in the middle of a divorce with a man I truly (now) believe is a sociopath. My life has been a living hell since leaving him- he never pays support, has convinced both of our families it was all me, refuses to let me have anything that was of value to me- photo albums, birth certs, etc. He told me he would take away all of my friends, and , he did- all except one. He is so charming and perfect, and he mimics my emotions so well, while I am distraught and depressed and don't always express myself perfectly. He is so very believable and seems to be incredibly lucky as well. I know now that my "friends" were anything but, but the loss of them hurt so terribly. They were there during the initial seperation- they saw who he really was. Did they all just forget that??? Oh, it hurts. Lately I am angry all the time- it is consuming me. I feel toxic with it and don't know what to do. I am looking for solutions to move past this- I know that my anger isn't hurting him one whit, but it's killing me, literally. Sorry to go on and on, but I feel for you, and damn! it feels so good to dump, too!

Answered by: letmeout5 on 5/16/08
wishuponastar

Answer:

You can't beat yourself up for being human. We all want to believe and to believe that we can trust people. We act and behave toward people the way we would like them to act and behave toward us. The trouble is not everyone shares that same level of integrity and trustworthiness.

You can't blame yourself for being needy or vulnerable. You have wants, needs, feelings. It's not your fault they weren't treated with respect.

Now that you've seen this person for who/what they are comes the real test. Can you cut your ties and cut your losses? Some hurts will never heal. It sounds like this one is worth walking away from or you will always have doubts and resentment.

Answered by: wishuponastar on 4/21/08
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