This is the only necessity, your reason why you want to start a business. Your intention is what will guide your business. It cannot be about ego, significance, money or something else. It must originate in your heart, in the part of you that knows this is what you must do. Starting a business will reveal so much to you about yourself, life, other people and give you good days and really tough days. And yet the most important factor that will guide you, get you off the couch, put you back on the path is the underlying reason why you wanted to start this business.

2) Find a way to serve, contribute, help other people.
Nowadays, businesses that are sincerely helping others, that have that as one of their core reasons for being, are thriving. Find a way to take away some type of pain from people’s lives. You can do that with any type of business. If you are starting a business to make money, to be a success, to get freedom, know that the bigger driver not only of success but also fulfillment is always including others in your journey. Power moves through those who serve. You will never feel weak or overwhelmed or a failure if you know without a doubt, that you are making a difference with what you do and who you are.

3) Know how your business makes money.
We need to be clear on what the path is to revenue. It doesn’t mean the business is going to make money on Day One. But you do need to know who your customers are, how you are going to rise above the noise and how people will know you exist. If you need to distribute something, know who is the best at doing that, and so on. Also, allow yourself to be flexible. Your business can’t just rely on one source of money, or one big customer or one success factor. Many small businesses find other ways to make money as they get going. Yours can, too.

4) Negotiate everything.
We live in a time where everything is up for discussion. Barter, trade, exchange services, ask for discounts, do whatever it takes to get started or to maintain. It’s cheaper to start a business now than ever before. Everyone needs some business, so whether it’s a logo, legal advice, PR, web design, go with 50% of the quotes people are offering you. Do not fall into the trap of thinking it costs money to get going. Everything is going for cheap now. Make the most of it. And if you don’t have money, look at what you do have and what you can trade. For instance, if you need a web site done, perhaps you can offer for trade editorial or copy help if that’s your skill.

5) Know what to expect.
a) Time. Plan for your business adventure to take at least twice as long as you’d thought. Yes, we all think it’s going to be an easy ride. But it really will take longer than you planned
b) Teamwork. You really are not supposed to know most things. It’s OK and necessary to ask for help and to do so early on. Don;t try to go it alone. There’s no shame in asking any and every question along the way.
c) Mistakes. You are going to make them, tons of them. It’s part of your journey. Fellow entrepreneurs can tell you things, but starting a business is purely experience. You get your own ticket to the party and learn along the way what you need.
d) Friends/Family. Do not ask their permission and do not expect their approval. Very often, pursuing this kind of a change is disruptive for the people around you. They worry. They face their own fears. They don’t relate to you, your choices or your days anymore. Just know this upfront. Continue to love them, of course. Brand new people are coming into your life who are fellow business leaders, dreamers and agents of change.
e) Be a woodpecker. Pick your tree—your idea—and just get up everyday and peck away. Other people may laugh or disapprove. Your beak will hurt at the end of the day and you will never know when your tree will fall. But it does and it will. Stay clear and committed to that tree. It’s each little action, each little chip that makes your business grow. And I can tell you, the days when a tree falls are great days. And they will surprise you. Many times they happen when you want to give up, you’re tired, other people are telling you you’re crazy. And when one tree falls, pick the next one to focus on. Yes, one little bird can make a giant tree fall. One brave woman—and of course man—can change anything in the world. Anything!!

Close to 15,000 women attended the sessions in Long Beach, organized by Maria Shriver and her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger, there was an incredible line up of speakers (Bono, Warren Buffett, Condolezza Rice, Madeleine Albright, JLo, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dr Mehmet Oz, Rachael Ray and a dozen more) and what energy they all had!

The night before the conference began, there was a speaker’s reception for about 40 of us. I had a lovely chat with Cherie Blair (Tony’s wife) about the role of women, education, the differences between the US and UK in that regard. I also met Christiane Amanpour, CNN’s chief international correspondent and one of my role models. She just exudes power and grace at the same time–a worthy lesson for all of us in times of crisis, and any time really. I also had a chance to meet Maria who is just a beautiful woman inside and out. Passionate about helping women, she speaks from the heart and truly wants to see women become empowered.

I was very fortunate to be invited as a speaker on Women Starting Businesses. Heidi Klum was also on the panel. I had the pleasure of being seated next to her and have never in my life had so many photographers in that kind of proximity.

Here are my top 5 tips on starting a business that I shared on the panel:

Its all about the team. You can’t do anything alone. Ask people for help. There’s always someone who can assist you.

Find a way to take away people’s pain in whatever business you start. Find a way to contribute. Find a way to create meaning for those who interact with your business.

Always, always trust your intuition in all decisions. Do not let your mind/intellect, fear, other peoples opinions override this. Every mistake I’ve made has been when I didn’t trust my gut and gave my power away to something or someone else.

Starting a business takes time, give yourself a very long runway to take off. It’s about hundreds of small steps daily, not one giant leap.

Get really good at change, at uncertainty, at going with the flow, at not needing to control everything.

Bonus–take care of yourself, and your health. Starting a business is more like an endurance test. You need energy. That’s all you have to give everyday to your team, your customers, the press and anyone who interacts with you. Stay healthy, inside and out.

There were many panelists I learned from and I wanted to share a few thoughts that have stuck with me since.

Heidi Klum:

Recommends to just keep at the thing you’re pursuing, “nag” (call and call up again), ask all the questions you have, you’re never silly and you’re not supposed to know everything. Find people who do and learn from them. She added that you shouldn’t get stuck on regrets or mistakes or the past–just do what you can do today.

Chris Matthews:

Thinks that “it’s not that women’s capabilities are new or have changed, it’s the recognition of them that is changing, finally.” He is very different than on TV–what a lovely man, father and husband. He also thinks that women who excel in sports are going to be the next leaders of tomorrow.

Jamie Lee Curtis:

Said that we must stand apart from our family history and start making independent thoughts. She asks herself two questions at the end of each day: Did I learn something and become wiser? Did I love well?

A panel with women who had reinvented themselves talked about how our “disease to please” influences all our choices in life. Authenticity is what we must choose. We must start being true to ourselves. And yes, that has consequences and takes work. But do not subject yourself to a half-lived life, or a mediocre one. There is always something inside of us calling us to live bigger and better. We know what’s right for us, at all times.

Bono:

In the closing keynote, he said if you are trying to create change in anything–whether a business or a country–don’t appeal to the conscience of people, appeal to their greatness. Remind them of that, always. It’s very tempting to turn inward and focus on our own stuff in times of crisis. In crises we rediscover who we are and what we are about. And realize we are connected to others.

Our most dominant emotion comes up when things get tough. If we are fearful, we become more fearful. If we blame, we blame more. And if we are grateful, we become more grateful. If we usually are the type that helps, we find ways to help more.

Right after the conference I flew to Hawaii for a conference with Wayne Dyer, a beloved spiritual teacher, on how to identify the excuses that rule your life and how to get rid of them. Look for a blog post on that experience shortly.