Posts tagged with ‘know yourself’

Live Fired Up!

People tell us life is tough, tense and difficult. And we believe it.

I don’t listen to what people say. I think life should be thrilling, exciting and energizing. Life is not a dress rehearsal so I want to be passionate, enthusiastic and fired up in my one shot at life.

We choose how we live. We allow the discussion in our heads to direct us. And today, much of this discussion is negative – it highlights the things we can’t, shouldn’t, or couldn’t do. We dwell on it and soon we believe that is the way it must be…it will be. But, we can redirect this internal dialog to positive; our self-talk can be optimistic. Our choice.

I find the reason why many people are more negative than positive is they do not know themselves well. As has been said, “We fear because we forget how capable we are.” We activate our negative self-talk because we forget (or don’t know) how talented, wise and competent we are. By knowing ourselves well, we learn how to use our hardwired talents, strengths and passions to successfully direct our lives to areas that support what we are good at and love doing. This engages our confidence and competence. This activates our positive self-talk. This helps to fire us up.

Many people also look to others to make their lives great. We want our partners, spouses, friends and families to make our lives fun, dynamic and easy. Though they are part of this process, the choice of being thrilled (or bored) about life belongs to each of us – not to others. It is our responsibility to choose how we move through life in the best and most fired up way.

Though I write, speak and teach about connecting to talents and passions, and getting fired up in work and life, I still have my days where the negative and challenging thoughts are louder than the positive ones. I know this will happen so I created a list of things I can do get myself re-fired up – re-energized – and back on the ride of life. Here are some of my techniques to light the fire instead of dousing the flame. Use these and share what works for you:

1. Laugh. A minute of laughing can boost your immune system for more than 24 hours (a minute of anger weakens your immune system for 4 hours). So find humor in everything. People are naturally comical, pets too. Stop finding faults and find humor. (I have the klutz gene –it is a family trait. If I got upset every time I bumped into something or tripped on something, I would always be upset. Instead, it is a great opportunity to laugh).
2. Read an inspirational quote or text. Find authors, famous or familiar people who move you with their perspectives, attitudes or energy. Keep these handy.
3. Think about two great things that have happened in the last day, hour or even minute. Dwell on these, not on the things that did not work so well. Applaud yourself for your great work, even if you were the only one who noticed it. Praise and (a little) self-praise are good ways to stay fired up.
4. Develop a network of fired up contacts – people you can contact to help you reconnect to your fire. The commitment, however, is you are the same resource for them. Sometimes we need a little help to get the fire going again.
5. Do something kind or unexpected. Send a card, make a call, serve your kids, partner or spouse breakfast in bed, make your favorite desert or meal and bring it to a friend. Get out of yourself and pay attention to someone else. Their reactions will fire you up.
6. Tell a story about a time when you were younger that highlights happy and great times. Show pictures, watch home movies and share feelings. Celebrate your personal stories. Never miss providing an ovation after a story. Everyone loves some applause. It fires us up.
7. Make the ordinary things around you, extraordinary. Dinner – ordinary. Dinner with the best dishes, flowers and cloth napkins – extraordinary. Lunch – ordinary. Lunch with candles, a card, your favorite soup and music – extraordinary. Bring home flowers. Make your own scented water to spray on the laundry. Stack laundry with each person’s name on it and a surprise in the bottom of each pile. Change the color of your front door – to something that gets the neighbors talking. Buy something bright to liven up an ordinary room. Notice “ordinary” then do something to make it extraordinary. You get a “two-fer” – a “two for” the price of one fire up. You get something extraordinary and you get fired up doing it.
8. Music – high-energy music can get you fired up. Turn it up loud, close the door and dance. And if you have the nerve, dance with the door open and invite others to join you. Find your fire up song and play it when you need to get energizing. My favorite “change my mood” song is Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas’s “Smooth.” My favorite get fired up and dance songs are Frankie Valli’s Oh, What A Night, Annie Lennox’s “Little Bird” or Katy Perry’s “Hot N Cold.” What are yours? (I know you have some.)
9. Go for an “inspired walk.” Some people find inspiration on a busy city street with lots of action. Others find inspiration in a quiet walk on a beach, through the woods or in the mountains. Bring your iPod with inspirational music (your definition of inspirational) to add to the moment. Or, just learn to listen to hustle, or the natural quiet. Get reconnected to your internal fire with others or by yourself, whichever activates you.
10. Make plans for fun. Once a week plan an event that gets you excited. Try a new restaurant. See a movie. Go to a lecture. Do yoga. Buy an outrageous coffee drink. Have game night with your family or friends. Host an American Idol, reality show, awards show or big game evening. Start a dinner club with other couples or singles. Host a progressive party around your neighborhood. Create one fired up event; its anticipation is energizing.
11. Love your job. Choose a job that plays to what you are good at and love doing. Know yourself well enough to know how to play to your talents, strengths and passions. A job of purpose, power and passion will keep you energized and fired up throughout the day.

Some say life is tough. And some feel they should suffer through life. Go ahead. That is not for me; that is not the story of life I intend to write. I have learned the more I know myself, the more I can direct my response to my world and play to my strengths. I can control my response to conflict and put myself into more areas of joy, happiness and energy. My choice.

We are amazing creatures. Each of us is hardwired with amazing gifts – unique gifts – that take much of our lives to interpret and learn to use. We did not arrive on the planet with an owner’s manual; we write it each day as we live. The more and quicker we learn about ourselves, the more and sooner we get introduced to the things that make us sizzle and those that make us fizzle. So, figure out how to add more sizzle. Then live fired up!

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. He is working on his new book, Work Strong, Live Stronger. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

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Posted by Jay Forte on March 19th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 2 comments Read related posts in Change Optimist, choose, end the negative, extraordinary, know yourself, life choices, live fired up, love your life, optimism, passionate life, self-talk

Daylight Changing Time

Once a year we move the clocks ahead. We lose an hour. A priceless hour. This time of year reminds me of how precious our time is.

I was up in New England visiting family this weekend. Sitting at the table we were reminiscing about so many years – jobs, dates, schools, awards, detention, cars; we talked for hours. We laughed about good choices and were embarrassed about bad choices. We remembered the times in our lives. We built these lives, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Time allowed it.

In the last several months, Facebook has reconnected me to many people in my past – people from my grammar school, high school and college. In conversations with my grammar schoolmates, we realized it had been 35 year since we had spoken. Time gone by. Priceless time. Time we don’t get back.

Time, both vague and empirical, defines our lives. It is a unit of measure that guides us through our days and our lives. And we know from the outset, time for each of us will be limited. As Neil Armstrong says, “I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.”

It is therefore up to each of us to see the value in our time – not to waste it – but rather to treasure it, celebrate it and use it to help us develop the best life possible.

Time is a critical component of the formula for a successful life:

• We must know ourselves – our talents, passions and interests (our true selves) – to know what makes us happy and what we are good at.
• We must know our world, to know the canvas we have available to create our lives.
• We use time to blend the two – our true selves and our world – to determine our unique fit – to create the best life possible.

Time allows this great life to unfold. Time is the enabler. But time is limited.

Consider the following ways to better use and treasure your time:

1. Plan your day; this will help you prioritize your life events and get to the things that are important.
2. Know yourself and know your world. Be constantly aware of what make you feel successful and happy. Build more of these into your day.
3. Pay attention to your health; eat wisely and exercise to feel well each day.
4. Build strong relationships; have loving and caring people in your life to share your time with.
5. Create a list of the things you want to do in life – a wish list. Do as many as you can. It adds excitement, anticipation and energy to your time.

Daylight changing time is a reminder that life is not a dress rehearsal; this is all the time we have. And we should respect, care for and treasure our time. Many may complain about losing an hour of sleep, but really there are so many other things lost in this movement to daylight savings time; an hour of visiting a loved one, an hour of fitness, an hour reading and learning, an hour of travel, an hour of meditation, an hour of walking on the beach, an hour of family time, an hour of thinking time – another hour of progress in building an exceptional life.

Time doesn’t return. When used it is gone. Daylight changing time is a wakeup call. Commit to valuing time, and using it to develop your best life.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource Stand Out and Get Hired. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to work strong and live stronger. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Jay Forte on March 14th, 2010 in Diet and Fitness, Family, General, Health, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in bold life, daylight savings time, Family, know yourself, life formula, memories, time