Posts tagged with ‘commitment’

Does Your Paramour Have All 5 Out of 5 of These Essentials for Love?

Whenever I coach people in improving their love life, I always start by asking folks what they are looking for in a longterm partner. Everyone gives me kinda the same list. They want someone

sexy, smart, funny, charismatic, successful, rich

I say it’s okay to want these things – but there are 5 essentials which must come first — and if your partner doesn’t have these 5 essentials, then it doesn’t matter how sexy, smart, funny, charismatic, successful, rich he/she might be — they will not make a good partner!

The following is a FREE EXCERPT from my OPRAH-loved book, Prince Harming Syndrome. (By the way guys, this empowering love advice also applies to making sure you avoid PRINCESS HARMINGS.) Voila! The FREE EXCERPT:

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #1: Does he/she want to be in a committed relationship? (Basically, does he embrace character values that match with your values for a committed happily ever after future? Are there “value deal breakers” when it comes to marriage, monogamy,kids, religion, etc.)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #2: Does he/she value growing as a person? (Basically, does he embrace character values that show he has an open and growing soul—values self-responsibility and seeking insights?)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #3: Does he/she understand that a relationship serves two functions. It’s not solely a “den of pleasure”—it’s also a soul’s “laboratory for growth.” (Basically, does he embrace character values that show he absolutely wants a “relationship of shared virtue”?)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #4: Does he/she make you feel “safe” in the relationship to reach your fullest potential? (Surprise: The top feeling a relationship should inspire is “safety.” Without safety, you will never arrive at feeling love—because you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable enough for true intimacy. If your man embraces high-integrity character values, then you will trust him enough to reveal your truest self!)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #5: Is your paramour happy? (Surprise: If you want to live happily ever after, your paramour has to be happy! If he/she’s unhappy all the time, he/she will view you through non-rosy, dark-lensed life glasses! You need to find a man who embraces character values that help him be emotionally stable, eventempered, addiction-free and full of high self-esteem.)

For more empowering love advice, check out my OPRAH-loved book, Prince Harming Syndrome.

Posted by Karen Salmansohn on January 25th, 2010 in Relationships | 2 comments Read related posts in commitment, happiness, paramour, safety

Are You Committed, or Just Interested?

There’s a big difference between being interested in change and committing to taking the steps to make a change.

Think about losing weight — you can be interested in losing those extra pounds or you can be committed to changing your lifestyle in order to be healthier. How do you get from interest to commitment? Being interested means you stick to what is convenient, what is comfortable, what is practical and easy. Being committed means you go out of your comfort zone, you do whatever it takes, you give it time.

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Posted by First 30 Days on June 16th, 2008 in New Directions | No comments Read related posts in commitment