All ‘Health’ Posts

11 may

Healthy Thinking: Using Your Mind to Help Heal Body, Heart and Soul

You probably know what it takes to live a healthy life, right? Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, exercise regularly, take vitamins – maybe add in some fish oil for cardiovascular health. Make sure you get enough protein, carbohydrates, and lean fats. Fortunately for many, healthy eating and exercise have become more and more a way of life. You know the list of do’s and don’ts to keep your body strong and fit.

What is less well known is how your thoughts influence your physical, emotional, and even spiritual health. Your mind is an extremely powerful instrument that can be either a friend or foe. For most, left to its own devices, the mind is a foe, and can lead to pain, difficulty, and suffering. With a little bit of effort and awareness, however, the mind can become a friend. As a friend, your mind can be used as a powerful asset to help promote your health and well-being on all levels.

Understanding Your Mind – Friend or Foe

Is your mind your friend or your foe? If you are like most, your mind bombards you with concerns, worry, anxiety, negative self-talk and a barrage of other nonsense.

Your mind may harass you about being good enough or healthy enough. It might critique you for making “poor” decisions. Are you being a good enough mother to your children? Are you a loving enough partner? Are you taking good enough care of your physical body?

And then let’s not forget gnawing concerns about physical appearance. The mind may lament: “I have too many wrinkles.” “How did my butt get so big?” “What should I do about these sun spots?”

Does this list sound at all familiar? You can probably write your own – your unique “flavor” of negative mental messages. These messages range from annoying to downright tyrannical. They are tyrannical because they control your life.

What kind of life can you live when your mind harasses you constantly with these types of concerns and worries?

It is my contention that true health is impossible when you live with a tyrannical mind. And most people do. You can eat all the right foods, do all the right exercises, take all the best supplements, and have a wonderful mix of alternative and conventional medical care. Yet if you are a slave to your thoughts, believing every mental message that the mind produces, how can you be truly healthy?

The mind-body connection is by now well-known and documented throughout the scientific literature. If your mind is producing stress, anxiety, and insecurity, whether that is through making you believe that you are not quite good enough the way you are, or that something is wrong with you, or making you worry and stress about situations over which you have no control, this mental turbulence has a very real impact on your physical health and well-being.

The tragedy is that most people live enslaved by their minds – their thoughts, beliefs, mental patterns and emotions. The triumph is that with a little awareness and effort, you can begin to free yourself from the tyranny of your mind and move toward true health and well-being.

Freeing the Mind – Breaking Free from the Thoughts and Beliefs that Confine You

So, how do you break free from this ceaseless and controlling mind-chatter?

Fortunately, there are some steps you can take that will help you find freedom from a controlling, and even debilitating mind.

Step #1: Become aware of the thoughts that you think

Before you can break free from your negative thoughts, ideas, and beliefs about yourself, your body, and your life, you must first become aware of the thoughts that you think on a regular basis.

What thoughts and beliefs are being generated in your mind? Everyone has thoughts, messages, “tapes” if you will, that run through the mind. Without awareness, these thoughts control you and dictate your life. Yet as you become aware of the thoughts you think on a regular basis, you can gradually begin to loosen the control they have over your life.

There is no practice more important or more impactful in breaking free from the thoughts that control you than the practice of meditation. Over time, a regular meditation practice makes you more aware of the thoughts that are being generated by your mind. With meditation, you discover that you are not the thoughts you think. You are not the messages and voices inside your head. Over time, meditation will gradually help lessen the grip and hold that your thoughts have over your life. The amazing thing about meditation is that simply by practicing meditation, you will become more aware of the thoughts you think on a regular basis.

Step #2: Recognize that they are false

Before you become aware of your thoughts, they control you absolutely. As you become aware of them, you can begin to notice that they control you. You can begin to notice how they control you. The next step in breaking free from them is recognizing that they are false. You have to realize that they are simply messages, usually learned in early childhood, and they are false. They are not about you and should not be allowed to control your life.

Step#3: Refuse to believe them

The next step is refusing to believe them. As you begin to see more clearly that these false messages run through your mind, you can make a decision to not believe them. You can recognize that they are false – false messages running through your mind. As such, they should not be listened to and should be ignored.

It is like music running in the background. You can carry about your business, go about your life, and ignore the negative thoughts and beliefs. Disregard them, don’t listen to them – completely ignore them. As you practice this, gradually over time they will lessen and recede more and more.

In this way, you can use your awareness to free yourself from the negative thoughts that you think.

As the mind becomes free from these negative messages and beliefs, it can be used as an ally to promote health. When you are listening to the negative thoughts and beliefs that run through your mind, it promotes dis-ease. As you become free from these voices, the energy of your mind is elevated to help you move toward true wellbeing.

SarahMaria Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Visit BreakFreeBeauty.com to learn more.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Sarah Maria on May 11th, 2011 in Health | No comments Read related posts in healthy thinking, love your body love your life, Negative Body Image, negative body obsession, sarah maria, using your mind to help heal

20 apr

What Your Body Tells You: Objective Feedback vs. Critical Condemnation

Can you tell the difference between the objective feedback your body offers versus the critical condemnation of your mind?

Your body’s objective feedback can help you make lifestyle choices that promote your health and well-being, whereas the critical condemnation of your mind creates nothing but suffering.

Our bodies are incredible messengers, powerful gifts on the journey through life. We can use the constant feedback that our bodies give us to help us make changes and adaptations to promote our health. If we listen to the criticism of our minds, however, it will sabotage us. The negative mental messages can eclipse the body’s natural intelligence and feedback, which will prevent us from making the healthy choices we want to make.

The mind opines, while the body illuminates. The mind makes you mistakenly believe that your body means something about who you are as a person, your self-worth and your value. It levels judgment and criticism. It makes you believe that you are somehow not good enough, that something is wrong with you and your body.

Here are some examples to elucidate the point:

Objective Feedback vs. Critical Condemnation

“I am holding weight in my abdomen – I can tell I have been under a lot of stress.”
versus “My stomach is flabby and disgusting – I am out of shape and need to do more sit-ups.”

“I haven’t been able to exercise recently and can tell that my legs are weak.”
versus “My cellulite is disgusting and I cringe when I look in the mirror.”

“I notice that when I eat sugar regularly it leads to weight gain and is addictive.”
versus “Why can’t I control myself? I am so weak.”

“I can tell that my arms are becoming weak – it would be good for me to increase my upper-body strength.”
versus “My arms are flabby, weak, and I don’t even want to look at them.”

“It has been too long without a haircut.”
versus “My hair is flat, dull, and disgusting.”

The key is to use your body for valuable, useful feedback, and to disregard the worthless messages of criticism that come from mental conditioning.

Critical condemnation is when you use your body and appearance to:

* Determine your self-worth

* Use it as a reflection of your “success” or “failure”

* Use it as a reflection of your “strength” or “weakness”

* Use it as a reflection of being “good” or “bad”

Here are three helpful steps to help you use your body’s messages for objective feedback, while dropping the mind’s critical condemnation:

1. Become increasingly aware of the difference between the body’s messages and the mind’s messages

2. Separate the “wheat” from the “chaff” – use the objective feedback and drop the self-judgment, criticism, and condemnation

3. Make lifestyle choices based on the feedback, not the condemnation

A key tool to help you learn to differentiate between your body’s messages and your mind’s messages is meditation.

A regular meditation practice is essential to help you break free from the critical mind-chatter that can sabotage your best intentions.

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Visit BreakFreeBeauty.com to learn more.

Posted by Sarah Maria on April 20th, 2011 in Health | No comments Read related posts in body image and self esteem, healthy body image, improving self-worth, sarah maria

07 mar

Raising Resilient Kids

After having worked for several years with emotionally disturbed children and their families, I have learned that one of the most important keys to raising resilient children is worrying less about protecting kids from every difficulty and focusing more on helping them create positive meaning out the difficulties in their lives.

We all know that some people are able to live through intense traumatic events without becoming emotionally disturbed. On the other hand, many kids with severe emotional symptoms have experience nothing more than being misunderstood by their parents. This shows us that the intensity of an experience is not what causes traumatic stress.

The key factor in the creation of traumatic stress is the meaning that the person creates to make sense out of the experience. For example, if someone lives through a violent assault, they could decide that the experience has awakened in them a strong desire to make the world safer. They would move forward with a mission to work for good and see the experience as difficult but eventually positive. However, that person could decide the assault means the world is a fundamentally unsafe place, or worse, that they did something to cause it. In this latter example, the person would experience major traumatic symptoms.

Researchers like Robert Neimeyer, who specialize in grief and loss, have found that if someone is able to create a compelling positive meaning out of a painful experience, it can entirely mediate the traumatic effects.

The problem is that children are not able to create these kinds of meanings for themselves. They need adults to help them. I suggest that parents be proactive in helping their children create compelling positive meanings out of the difficulties in their lives in order to help them grow to be more resilient.

Tim Desmond is a therapist in private practice in Oakland, CA, and directs a mental health, day-treatment program for children. He offers phone counseling for adults and couples through his website, www.phonecounseling.net

Posted by Tim Desmond on March 7th, 2011 in Health, House and Home, Relationships, Teens, Uncategorized | No comments

07 dec

Auto Accidents and Survival Energy

EmilyVanHorn Your body may still be in “survival” mode even though an accident is over.

Every year millions of Americans are injured in auto accidents. Studies have shown that most car accident victims showed symptoms of PTSD. Even a simple fender bender can have a great impact on the nervous system.

After a car accident, many people suffer a wide range of symptoms: feeling disoriented, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, anxiety, anger, depression, physical pain that can’t be explained, fear of being in a car, or driving past the accident site, etc. Symptoms may not surface for months and may seem unrelated but can be directly linked to the trauma suffered during your car accident. If you have lasting symptoms and can’t find relief, the solution may be found in treating the trauma in the nervous system.

What happens during a car accident, or any situation that feels overwhelming to the nervous system, is a surge of survival energy comes up in order to help the body cope. When that intense amount of adrenaline floods us and doesn’t get released, parts of us can remain in survival mode. Trauma is a result of the deregulation of the nervous system not the actual event itself.

The good news is that you can learn how to use your body’s untapped resources to help regain wellness. In Somatic Trauma Resolution Therapy, (STR) a skilled practitioner incorporates cutting edge techniques from traditional medical, psychological and physical therapies with the goal of healing the nervous system; helping it to discharge shock and trauma in a safe and gentle way. Treatments for the physical body like chiropractic and acupuncture can go more easily when combined with STR, and healing can happen in a relatively short time and can leave a person even more resourced and empowered than before the accident.

Posted by Emily Van Horn on December 7th, 2010 in Health, Uncategorized | 1 comment Read related posts in car accidents, PTSD, STR

12 sep

Today Is All We Have

JayForte A very close friend of a good friend of mine died this morning after a difficult battle with cancer. Everyone is really sad today. Sad because we miss this great person. Sad because whatever time we had with her was not enough. Sad because we won’t be able to make new memories together. But there is wisdom in this aspect of being human.

Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen says in her book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, “…the view from the edge of life is so much clearer.” When we are faced with illness and our mortality, we realign the pieces of our life and focus on what is most important – who we touch in life and who touches us. We become wiser. And this wisdom is shared at the time of illness – ideally so we all learn and live that way each day, not just in a period of change and challenge.

Though we know this, few live with a great appreciation for the moment, the day and the people in our lives. Few of us learn this lesson until something catastrophic affects our lives.

Today is all we have. We don’t know about tomorrow. We don’t know about next week. This is not fatalistic – it is realistic. To me, this realization encourages the need for us to own each moment of our lives – to be really present. This reminds me on a daily basis that life is not a series of days to use up. Rather, life is the gift of days to use to add value, connect with others and transform the world. And everyday that our feet get to land on the floor, we get one more opportunity to be part of our world, and to bring it our best.

I find myself constantly distracted in running my own business. Because there is so much to handle, at the end of the day, I frequently don’t remember much of the day. Though I know better, I still lose sight that each moment of each day is never to be wasted or taken for granted. To that end, I am always trying to build in better “be in the moment” habits. Here are some that I find work for me:

1. Set the alarm 10 minutes earlier each day. Use the 10 minutes to think about 5 things you are grateful for. Soon you’ll find you won’t hit the snooze – you’ll look forward to your “grateful time,” and ten minutes won’t be enough. Be present.

2. Touch some part of nature. Hold onto a tree; smell flowers, grass or leaves. It connects you to this moment and the relationship that you and the planet have. You’ll also develop a greater responsibility to respect it and treat it well when it is an emotional part of your day. Be present.

3. Give someone a hug. It sounds cliché but as anyone who is on the edge of life will tell you, they crave the human touch – the moment of people and spirits connecting. Physical contact brings you into someone else’s space at this moment – and the two of you are in the moment together. You are very aware of time, of being present and feeling important to another person. Be present.

4. Smile. Even if there weren’t studies about the health effects of a positive attitude and behavior, a friendly and encouraging signal to another person impacts their world at that moment. This connection builds community. This connection creates a moment of memory in the day. Think how many people have changed your outlook just by a kind gesture, act or word. Be present.

5. Stare into a night sky and just imagine. Connect to the greatness of a moment by appreciating the size of our space – that you get to be in it, and what it feels like at this one particular moment. And when you watch the sky, you’ll notice it never remains the same – it constantly changes. Each moment is different. You become aware of each moment. You are part of each moment. Be present.

So, today is all we have. Find ways to be part of it. Be part of the lives with whom you share space at each moment. Choose to be happy. Greet each day with an attitude of gratefulness and love. Live each day as if it were your last.

Life is as great or as small as you intent it to be. And it isn’t the things that make it great. It is your connection to the people, events and moments that make it great. May you always know what the people who are at the edge of life know – that each day is important; each day is a gift. Treasure it and make it great.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He teaches people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com and www.TheGreatnessZone.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on September 12th, 2010 in Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in be happy, cancer, LOVE, love life, powerful living, Relationships, surviving

12 sep

Let Go of Control

MikeRobbins96 I had a simple, but profound experience in the swimming pool last week – I floated on my back for the first time in my life. I do know how to swim and enjoy being in the water, but for some reason I never was able to figure out how to float on my back when I learned to swim as a kid and as an adult it hasn’t really been something that has come up as an issue in my life (although it has always been something that I wanted to learn, felt a bit embarrassed about not being able to do, and also didn’t quite understand).

Thanks to the help of my friend Steve last week, I was able to let go and allow the water to support me. It felt scary at first, but once I figured it out, it was an incredibly liberating and relaxing experience. As I was floating there in the pool I had many thoughts, feelings, and insights – the biggest of which had to do with my own obsession with controlling things, and my deep desire and fear about letting go.

How controlling are you? Would you consider yourself very controlling, moderately controlling, or not controlling at all? While each of us falls somewhere along the continuum of control and for some of us this is a bigger issue than others, for most of the people I know and work with, control is an issue that gets in our way – especially in the most important (and stressful) areas of life.

What causes us to be controlling?

There are many reasons, beliefs, and emotions that lead us to hold on tight and feel the need to control others, situations, circumstances, money, communications, food, workflow, details, our environment, and various other “important’ aspects of our lives. However, here are three things that are usually underneath our controlling tendency:

Fear – We worry that things won’t turn out, we will get hurt, bad things will happen, etc.

Unworthiness – We don’t feel as though we deserve support, help, or for things to go our way.

Lack of Trust – We’re scared to let go, count on others, and to believe that things will be okay without us managing every aspect of the situation, relationship, conversation, etc.

What does being controlling cost us?

There is a huge cost associated with being controlling. This negative impact is not only on us and our well-being, but also on those we love, the people we work with, and everyone around us. Here are some of the biggest costs:

Peace

Freedom

Energy

Creativity

Support

Ease

Connection

Love

How can we expand our capacity to let go of control?

There are many things we can do to let go of control. With compassion for ourselves, it’s important to remember that this is a process and something (especially for some of us) that may not come all that easy. Many of us have been literally “trained” (directly or indirectly) to be controlling and in certain environments and situations (at work and at home), being controlling has been encouraged or seemed necessary for our own survival and the survival of those around us.

That being said, here are some things you can do and think about to expand your own capacity to let go of control in a positive and liberating way:

1) Be honest with yourself – Make an authentic assessment about your own controlling nature. It probably varies a bit for you (as it does for most of us), but at the same time we all have certain tendencies, especially in the most important and stressful areas of our lives. With empathy and honesty, take a look at where, how, and why you hold on tight to control in whatever way you do. And, be real with yourself about what this costs and how it impacts you and those around you.

2) Ask yourself, “Am I willing to let go of control?” – This is an important question to ponder and to answer honestly. In some cases and in certain situations, the answer to this question may be “no.” It’s important to honor that if that’s the case for you. And, at the same time, the more willing you are to ask and answer this question, the more likely you are to start letting go of control consciously (assuming it is something you’re truly interested in doing). You may not know how to do it or what it would look like, but authentic willingness is always the first step in positive change.

3) Consider who could support you – Getting support is one of the most important (and often most vulnerable) aspects of letting go of control. Even though we sometimes feel like we’re all alone, that no one “gets it,” and/or that we couldn’t possibly make ourselves vulnerable enough to ask for help (especially in certain areas of life), it’s difficult to let go of control without the support of other people. The irony of asking for help is that many of us don’t feel comfortable doing so and fear it makes us seem weak or needy, and on the flip side most of us love to be asked for help and really enjoy helping others. We can’t do it alone! And, the good news is that most of us have lots of people in our life that would jump at the chance to support us – if we were willing to ask for help more freely.

4) Surrender – This is the bottom line of letting go. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring, it means trusting and allowing things to be taken care of by others, by the process, and by the Universal Intelligence governing life – some call this God, some call this Spirit, some don’t call it anything, but most of us have an experience of It at some level. Surrendering is about consciously choosing to trust and have faith. It is something that can liberate us in a profound way and is all about us choosing to let go.

When we look back on our lives in hindsight, we usually see that “things happen for a reason.” What if we lived in the present moment with this same hindsight awareness? As one of my mentors said to me years ago, “Mike, you’re living your life as though you’re trying to survive it. You have to remember, no one ever has.”

Letting go of control is about loosening our grip, allowing ourselves to be supported, and trusting that things will turn out as they are meant to. Is this easy? Not always, although it can be. However, as we practice this and expand our capacity to let go, we’ll be able to release and transform a good amount of unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety from our lives, our work, and our relationships.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

Posted by Mike Robbins on September 12th, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Health, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, faith, fear, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, motivation, self help, surrender, trust

29 aug

Have the Time of Your Life

JayForte I have great respect and affection for older people. Maybe I have an old spirit or just really admire the strength to survive on the planet for many years, but I find older people remarkable.

I was particularly fond of all four of my grandparents. And unlike so many of my friends, I had a great opportunity to spend a large part of my life with these amazing people. Their life lessons showed their generosity, limitless love and energy, and at the same time their criticalness and worry. After all, they were human too. But most of what I remember is their love of every day – that wherever you were, you were to be there, in that moment, and appreciating what was around you.

I was reminded of all this as we sat at lunch this week with friends of my in-laws. Both in this couple are older, nearly eighty, and one is significantly ill with scleroderma. But neither condition stops them from being fully present in their lives.

At lunch they shared stories of their recent road trip that took them over four thousand miles to see family, be part of a wedding, visit old friends, and spend time with their kids. Originally, they planned to make this a bus trip but opted instead to drive. Armed with a GPS and a preferred card at Choice Hotels, they spent nearly four weeks meandering through the lives and homes of their friends and family. With the health condition they had to take it slow and rely on the help of people at the hotels and on their families. Everyone stepped up. As they both said, “It was a trip of a lifetime.”

What impressed me most, besides the excitement still in the voices as they shared story after story about the trip, was their courage – the courage to go on this trip – the courage to get up and actively live each day. They appreciate life, its plusses and minuses as part of the way life is. They choose to live as much of life as they can. None of the significant challenges they bear showed up in their stories. No complaints; nothing owed to them. They wanted an amazing trip – they did it, they loved it and they will remember it forever. They had the time of their lives.

My first thought in all this was to applaud them for the courage to go for what they dreamed of. But it made me think – isn’t that really something we all should feel? Why is it we feel that life is any less sacred, important or valued when we are young than when we become old? Why is life any less spectacular when we are well than when we are sick?

We never know the amount of time we are given. That should remind us that life is truly a gift and that it is to be celebrated, applauded and fully lived each day. In the utterly spectacular book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, author Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen shares a powerful line said by a patient who was challenged with a terminal illness, “When you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance.” Isn’t this really the way we all should live? Since we never know what is coming next, shouldn’t we spend more time dancing?

As with many older people, their lives, attitudes and stories share the wisdom that everyday is more valued, more spectacular and more extraordinary because you get to have it. And why not take a road trip to share your life with those who matter most to you? As much as the road trip was a trip of a lifetime for our friends, it was also the visit of a lifetime for the people they saw. Funny how that works. When we are busy having the time of our lives, we are also helping to create the time of someone else’s life.

It seems that the smartest people on the planet are those who are in touch with their humanity and mortality. They don’t waste time on things that don’t matter. Dave Ramsey says it best, “[So many people] spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.” Wise people choose life events over life things. Maybe this is the wisdom in age that I so appreciate. Maybe this is the lesson for all who are younger. Don’t wait. Live the life you love. Make good choices. Have the time of your life.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He inspires people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com and www.TheGreatnessZone.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 29th, 2010 in Career, Family, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in getting older, Health, life choices, live life, love life, positive attitude, positive outlook, road trip

17 aug

Chart Your Own Course

JayForte I grew up in a very Italian family. And by “very” I mean the strong traditions that came directly from Italy guided many aspects of our daily lives. This included parents who felt it was their responsibility to tell you who you were supposed to be – how to live, what to believe and what work to do. At least that is how things started.

The good news is we were also raised to be independent. And independent people don’t like to be told how to live, what to believe and what to do. That independence was the key for my siblings and me to determine that our lives belonged to us and that the key to our happiness and success would be for us to make critical life decisions for ourselves.

Though we had loving and well-intentioned parents, their perspectives of who we were and how we should live were nothing more than their perspectives. We did listen to their suggestions but determined the loudest voice directing our lives should be our own. This process was not without conflict. Nothing good ever comes without challenge because challenge helps us develop our own voice, see others’ perspectives and take responsibility for our decisions.

I firmly believe that each of us is hardwired for greatness – we have a customized combination of talents, strengths and passions that allow us to be good at some things and not others. We love some things and not others. And no matter how close we may be to our families, they can never know how we think and feel as well as we know. We must always be the voice that decides what is right for us – in work and in life. We must always know the facts, then own the decision. We must chart our own course.

Though my five siblings and I are part of the same family, and all close in age, none of the six of us has the same hobbies, the same careers or the same attitudes about politics and church; we have always been very different. Though I greatly appreciate the effort and intent of parents who felt compelled to tell us what to do with our lives, we all clearly saw that both our happiness and success required each of us to make these decisions for ourselves.

No one can know me like I know me. No one can identify my passions and talents as I can. And I honestly feel it is intended to be like this. Our lives are our gift. Part of appreciating the gift is in the anticipation and excitement of unwrapping it. We unwrap our lives as we live them. We get acquainted with more and more of who we truly are by living each day – by spending time noticing how we think, what we love, how we feel and what impacts us.

The more self-aware we become, the more information we have about what matters to us. The more we know ourselves, the better road we can chart for ourselves. I don’t want your road – you don’t want my road. My road is customized for me; yours should be customized for you. No one can do this customization except for us. And if we choose not to do it, or never learn how, then we live our lives according to how others tell us we should live. And I personally believe we then live only a fraction of our lives and never realize the our greatest purpose and value to ourselves and to our world.

There are many well-intentioned friends, colleagues and families who are loaded with advice on how we should live, who we should love and where we should work. Go ahead and listen to what they say. Consider everything. Then, value your own perspective about what is right for you more than what other says.

To help you customize your road, answer the following:

1. What is fun for you, and how do you add it into your day?

2. Who matters to you and how do you include them in your life each day?

3. What is critical for you and how do you address it each day?

4. What inspires you and how do you have more of it each day?

5. What challenges you and how do you learn to grow from it each day?

You own your life – and all that goes with it. Chart the right course for you so that each day you wake, you love the life you lead and make your greatest impact on those around you and on your world.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He teaches people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 17th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in happiness, independence, life choices, live your life, own your life, ownership

03 aug

Thoughts by Tracye

Finding the “YES!”

Believe the universe is conspiring to support you,” my yoga instructor offered as the sweat poured from my body and my mind screamed “You can’t do this today! Child’s pose, just child’s pose! As a matter of fact, you’re crazy to believe you can succeed with any of your silly ideas.”

I was completely lost in the “No” moment that morning. I walked into the studio in the “No” mind space. Stuck! At least I thought. But yoga is an interesting thing. The more I focused on the breath, the more I focused on the flow of my body, the more I opened my mind to the possibility – to the “Yes!” that could be if I let it.

The moment was mine. I could give in to the ridiculous notion of fear and failure or I could flow right through it and know without a doubt that the universe truly is conspiring to support me! Which do you think I chose? Which do you choose?

Try turning your “No” moments into “Yes!” this year and see what happens.

Take mental (maybe written!) note of how often your mind goes to the “No” place in one day and possible reasons?
Write down all of the times that “Yes!” changed your life in a positive way.
Enlist the help of “Yes!” buddy to support your journey.

Trust and see yourself as the superstar that others do. Know that the moment is yours if you choose. Be well!

Drop that Dead Weight!

I think of my marathon running days. I can never carry all those gadgets, backpacks, water, sports drinks, goo, etc. It’s just too heavy. The race is way too long and hard for all that crap. I feel weighed down during a time when I need to feel like I could fly.

Drop it! In my first long race years ago, I remember tossing stuff along the roadside. I had to get lighter and keep moving to the finish line. Relying on my mental strength, my team and volunteers at the water stops was my only choice.

In yoga class, people arrive and set up “their” spot with the fancy mat, eighteen water bottles, special towel, and anything else they can find to get the perfect flow. Perhaps distractions? A little dead weight? I’m just saying. Drop it!
As you look at your life, ask yourself “How much dead weight am I carrying?” What’s got to go?

On a recent trip a beloved friend reminded me to question the value-add of the people, events, and possessions in my life. Is there someone, something, some place that is holding you back from your true self? Your destiny? Your peace? Your freedom?

So how do you know? Oh, you know! And if for some reason you’re not listening to your own voice or heart and still can’t figure it out, ask The Divine. Then listen and do –the hardest part being the “do.” I know this personally, so here are a few suggestions from someone in the active “Drop it!” state:

Get with your Real Team – Who are the people who keep it real in your life? Who will honestly and out of true love tell you when you’re wrong, someone is wrong for you, or something is wrong. Listen and do.
Be honest with yourself – It’s hard and exhausting to toss all dead weight at once. Take it a pound at a time.
Stay on the lookout for volunteers and water stops along the way – If we pay attention we will find that help and cheers are available everywhere.
Go to The Divine – Humble yourself and know that there is a greater source. Be guided.

The journey of living and being well is about releasing that which holds of from love, from freedom. Drop it! Drop it by the roadside and keep moving to the finish line! I know that’s my focus. What about you? Life is waiting. Be well!

Tracye Warfield is a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) with Yoga Alliance, Certified Infant Massage Teacher (CIMT), and a self-taught accomplished chef. After a successful career in banking, Tracye decided it was time for a lifestyle change. She has been practicing yoga since 1999. She began her metamorphosis in the California Bay Area. Through the practice of yoga, a stronger focus on eating healthy and achieving a greater understanding of nature, her life and spirit have been transformed. Tracye feels it is now time to share her life alteration and all its responsibilities, with the world.

In 2007 she published a cookbook, Experience Dinner – Recipes by Tracye Warfield and embarked on a career as a personal chef with varied clients throughout the New York metropolitan area. Her success was nearly instant, her menus often provocative and her ingredients are always natural and when possible, organic.

She received her yoga-teaching certificate at the acclaimed Yoga Sutra studio in New York City with a focus on studies drawing upon the traditions and principles of Ashtanga, Vinyasa, and Iyengar yoga. She received her infant massage certificate with industry leader, Tina Allen of LiddleKidz in 2009 which provided a way to work with entire families focused on the healing powers of touch and the ever lasting love that touch draws upon.

She formed her company bytracye in November of 2007 with a focus on mind, body, spirit and food. What is bytracye all about? Well, Tracye says: “We want to create for each of our clients, a wonderful holistic experience in all that we do.” We want our love of life to be present either in studio or in the kitchen and our only measure of success is client happiness.”

Posted by Tracye Warfield on August 3rd, 2010 in Diet and Fitness, Health, New Directions, Spirituality, Uncategorized | 1 comment Read related posts in personal support

29 jul

5000 Synapses in the Width of a Hair

RickHanson How much change in the brain makes a difference in the mind?

That’s the issue raised by a very interesting comment regarding my previous blog, “The Brain in a Bucket.”

So I’ve taken the liberty of posting the comment here (hoping that’s OK in blog etiquette; still learning as I go), and then responding. Here it is:

I was pondering your statement that long term meditators show a thickening in certain areas of the brain. As I understand it, the volume of the skull is fixed in adults. This would seem to require that if one part thickens, another part must be reduced. I am curious as to whether anyone has considered what the implications of a loss of volume in these other areas might be. I enjoyed your article, and look forward to more on the topic of neurology and meditation.

While the size of the skull is indeed fixed in adulthood, we can both lose gray matter volume due to the normal effects of aging and gain it through mental training of one kind or another. Read more »

Posted by Dr. Rick Hanson on July 29th, 2010 in General, Health | No comments Read related posts in adulthood, adults, areas of the brain, blog, brain, brains, Buddha’s Brain, density, gray matter, hippocampus, london taxi drivers, meditation, nbsp, neural regions, neurology, neuroscience, Rick Hanson, singular, skull, small changes, spatial memory, synapse, synapses, width of a human hair

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