All ‘Global/Social Change’ Posts

29 dec

Why Should I Forgive? The Origin of a New Year’s Resolution

WEJMD I’ve been asked why I’m passionate about teaching forgiveness. It’s because all religious, spiritual and metaphysical roads I’ve traveled have led me here, to this one Truth borrowed from A Course In Miracles: I forgive others for my own peace of mind.

In my late twenties I read the Bible, the Old and New Testament, for the first time. Although I was impressed with the transformation of God’s consciousness from the Old Testament God of anger, judgment, vengeance and war to the New Testament God of peace, love, acceptance, charity and forgiveness, I was more impressed with the implications of several thought-provoking Biblical comments:

(1) From the Book of Matthew: He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

If the above-passage is an accurate quote from Jesus of the Christ, that’s pretty awesome and powerful. “Nothing will be impossible for you.” That’s not a vague and ambiguous assertion. That’s a description of how Reality Manifestation works. That’s the Secret right there. That’s the Law of Attraction, the Law of Abundance. The power of the Mind to transcend time and transform space, and thereby create the reality of one’s choosing! “Nothing will be impossible for you.” Wow. I like the sound of that. And I find it hard to believe that Jesus of the Christ was exaggerating. His word was his bond.

(2) From the Book of Mark: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” I don’t take the word “rich” literally here. I believe what was meant instead of rich is the word greedy. “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a greedy man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Greed is of the ego. Greed is about competition and separation rather than cooperation and unity. Greed is about judgment, aggression and unforgiveness, not acceptance, tolerance and harmony. Greed is not of God and if you really want to get to God and Heaven and the Garden of Eden, or whatever else you understand to be a place of eternal, unconditional peace, compassion and joy, then be of Service to Others. Help others. If you’ve got two coats, give one away to a needy brother.

3) From the Book of Matthew: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

Meek doesn’t mean weak. Meek doesn’t mean wimpy. Meek doesn’t mean sucker or chump. Meek means those who are gentle, those who are non-violent, those who are compassionate, those who are accepting of others, those who are unconditionally forgiving. “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” The implication of this being that those who seek peace through violence and murder are not blessed and will inherit the wind.

4) From the book of Matthew: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” This is very clear. The message is basically that if you walk a righteous, honest and forgiving path, you will get the life that you want. You’ll get the goodies. First be a person of integrity. First be of service to others. First let go of anger, fear, judgment and attack. First forgive. And then “all these things will be added to you.” In other words: You win. You Forgive To Win!

5) From the Book of John: “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” In other words, All these things that I have done, you can do and more if you have faith in me, if you follow my principles of forgiveness, acceptance, and love. That’s the ticket. There’s the message again: Want to do 22 impossible things before breakfast? First seek the kingdom of heaven. First be a person of honor. And then with your faith you’ll move mountains, and all things will come to you.

Why? Because when we get our mind focused on Forgiveness, Acceptance and Love, this removes the obstacles to the natural flow of abundance and prosperity which is available in infinite amounts to everyone.

So that’s my New Year’s resolution: To first seek the kingdom of heaven. To first be a person of honor. To forgive. To accept. To love. As best I can. As unconditionally as I can. Wherever I am. Without exceptions. Without expectations. Without the need for appreciation or acknowledgment.

To have forgiveness, teach forgiveness to learn it.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Forgive To Win!

Posted by Walter E Jacobson, MD on December 29th, 2011 in First30Days Book, Global/Social Change, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in acceptance, Bible, forgiveness, God, LOVE, religion, Spirituality

09 jun

21 Ways to Turn Ill Will to Good Will

Ill Will to Good Will My recent posts have highlighted two very powerful, yet opposing forces in the human heart: in a traditional metaphor, we each have a wolf of love and a wolf of hate inside us, and it all depends on which one we feed every day.

On the one hand, as the most social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic, cooperate, care, and love. On the other hand, we also have the capacity and inclination to be fearfully aggressive toward any individual or group we regard as “them.” (In my book – Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom – I develop this idea further, including how to stimulate and strengthen the neural circuits of self-control, empathy, and compassion.)

To tame the wolf of hate, it’s important to get a handle on “ill will” – irritated, resentful, and angry feelings and intentions toward others. While it may seem justified in the moment, ill will harms you probably more than it harms others. In another metaphor, having ill will toward others is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.

Avoiding ill will does not mean passivity, allowing yourself or others to be exploited, staying silent in the face of injustice, etc. Read more »

Posted by Dr. Rick Hanson on June 9th, 2011 in General, Global/Social Change, Health, New Directions, Relationships, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in angry feelings, Buddha’s Brain, dalai lama, effective action, gandhi, hot coals, human heart, inclination, martin luther king, neural circuits, opposing forces, passivity, peaceful heart, plenty of room, preconditions, priming, Rick Hanson, self-control, speaking truth to power, traditional metaphor, vicious cycles

01 jun

Embracing Change

MikeRobbinsNew We recently went into escrow on our house, but don’t yet have a new house to move into. As excited as we are about our move (just across the San Francisco Bay from Concord to Marin County), it feels pretty scary to not yet know exactly where we’ll be living next month.

With this big change and a few others coming soon, I’ve been noticing how I deal with and relate to change. I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship to change. I love the excitement, growth opportunity, and newness of change. But, at the same time, I can easily fall into states of worry, fear, and overwhelm when facing change, especially big ones.

How do you feel about change? While it may depend on the specific change (i.e. one we want versus one we don’t want, or one that seems exciting versus one that seems hard or even “bad.”), most of us seek and fear change simultaneously. Even positive changes can be unsettling or even downright upsetting. And, while each of us has a unique personality and perspective, many of us tend to be creatures of habit.

Change is one of the main “constants” in life, ironically. However, we don’t usually spend all that much time thinking about our relationship to change or specifically expanding on our ability to adapt to change – we usually deal with it from a place of survival, reaction, or necessity.

What if we embraced change more consciously and learned how to not only “manage” it, but thrive through it. Whether you’re someone who enjoys change and handles it quite well, or you hate it and get totally stressed out by it, all of us can benefit from embracing change more deliberately and supporting those around us as we all go through the big and small changes of life – especially these days.

Here are some things you can do and think about as you deal with change in your own life – so as to more effectively and peacefully deal with it when it shows up.

1) Become consciously aware of your relationship to change. Knowing how you deal with change, what stresses you out about it, what allows you to navigate it most effectively, what kind of support you need as you move through the change process, and more, are all important elements of embracing change. It’s rarely the circumstances themselves that cause us stress or difficulty; it’s our relationship to them. By altering our relationship to change, we can become much more peaceful and successful in dealing with it.

2) Acknowledge and express your true feelings (especially your fear). When change occurs, there are usually a number of different emotions we experience. We tend to focus most of our attention on the details, specifics, and circumstances, not so much on our emotions. However, it is our emotional experience and reaction that dictates much of our effectiveness (or lack thereof) in dealing with change. Whether it’s something we consider “good” or “bad,” fear is almost always associated with change, because we’re moving into something unknown and often uncomfortable. By acknowledging and expressing our fear (and other emotions) in an authentic way, we can take back our power from the situation, get real about how we’re feeling, and move through it with more ease and grace. There’s nothing wrong with any of the emotions we experience during change, the problems begin to arise when we don’t express our emotions authentically.

3) Get support. As with most things in life, change is much easier to deal with when we get help. We don’t have to go through it all alone and there are probably many people in our lives who have gone through similar changes before and can support us in the process. Asking for and receiving help from other people can be challenging for many of us and can feel quite vulnerable. However, one of my favorite sayings is, “The answer’s always ‘no’ if you don’t ask.” Getting support not only makes dealing with change easier for us, it allows other people to be of service, which is something most people love to have the opportunity to do in life.

4) Look for the gold. There is “gold’ in the midst of every change – even the most painful and difficult ones. When change is more “positive,” it can seem easier to find the gold in it. However, positive change can also be tricky because we don’t understand why we still may experience fear or discontent and sometimes won’t acknowledge these and other feelings due to our own embarrassment. With change that is more “negative,” it can often be hard to find or see the gold. When dealing with difficult changes in our lives, being able to authentically get in touch with the gifts, blessings, and growth opportunities available to us can help as we navigate our way through the experience and also allow us to evolve in the process.

Have empathy and compassion for yourself and others in going through change. It’s not easy for most of us. By embracing change we become not only more effective in dealing with it, but more peaceful, present, and powerful in our lives.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

Posted by Mike Robbins on June 1st, 2011 in Global/Social Change, New Directions | No comments Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, change, gratitude, inspiration, Mike Robbins, motivation, self help, transition

01 jan

2011: Gateway of the One

SkySheridan A decade of the 21^st century come and gone, and what science and spirit both predicted and prophesized have come true. Looking back at the turn of the millennium it is hard to believe we didn’t see the worst financial global crisis coming, a killer Hurricane Katrina, devastating tsunami or astronomical earthquake in Haiti that would wipe out hundreds of thousands of lives in an instant. We didn’t have Youtube, Wikipedia, iPhones, Facebook or Twitter and Google, our search engine lifeline, was just getting started. Y2K, the technological media myth, wasn’t the end, and we finally got to party like it was 1999.

After 9/11 (a code that we dial in for help and that contains the powerful number 11) the words “Terror” and “War” constantly struck fear into our hearts and worry into our minds. We were so consumed by giving our personal and collective power over to outer authority and outside sources that 2012 was only a blip on the temporal map and was only seen as some Mayan tale of the end of time. It felt separation would rule us all.

Here and now, eleven years later, time seems to have ended as everything became instantaneous. We have screens and technological devices wherever we go, miniaturized, plugged into our ears, tapped into our touch, connecting us all at speeds quicker than light through our thoughts. The world is literally at our fingertips and in our hands now.

We are starting to see, we are the power. The first African American president was elected because we decided we are ready for “Change” and that “Yes We Can”. A global financial crisis has pulled the veil over our eyes and the truth has been revealed about a monetary system that controls our world governments and seeks to make profit even at the expense of people and the planet, so that the few can have so much, and so that the many have nothing because of it.

Everything has been amplified, exponentially accelerated, including our consciousness and connection to each other. We have gone beyond the information age, and into the age of awareness. 2012 is just a year away now, and happens to be one of the most talked about and researched dates of our time. Depending on which side of the 2012 coin we focus on, is the one we will empower. One side is descending into destruction while the other is ascending in creation. It is our choice.

Even with as much destruction and chaos occurring all around and within us as the whole system feels like it is imploding, many are taking their power back and are starting to be creative, new and sustainable, not just for ourselves, but for the hope, integrity and joy of our posterity. Truly, we now know, that we are the ones we have been waiting for. No one is going to save us, or give us the power we don’t already have ourselves. 2011 is our time to become, to step out of the perception of what we’re not, and see what we already are.

Lets focus a second on the number 11. It is going to come up a lot this year. It is considered a master number, which just means that its purpose is to raise spiritual (inner) awareness for higher conscious. It is a number that drives us to serve altruistically. So this is the year that companies and consumers have an opportunity to make people and the planet the product that profits. 11 is known as the number of transformation. Like a butterflies wings on either side, it is our call to start to fly.

Eleven is also contains two number 1s, representing the two sides of duality, you and me, us and them, right and wrong, black and white. It is the end and the beginning, the Alpha and the Omega. The significance of two sides, or souls, standing together in unity, represents our inherent oneness and the path to our greater good. That no matter how separate we continue to try to be, the truth is we are all connected.

Graphically, 11 looks like a gateway, or a doorway. 2011 is a portal year that we are passing through, and it is calling us to recognize our unity, and to come together to restore power to the people. It is time to invoke the yogi’s “Namaste” and see yourself in every other, and in the world, like a constant mirror reflecting back to you your inner state of awareness and power.

The number 11 shows us that we must come together to create a consciousness that extends beyond the limitations of self, and to embrace our interconnection and interdependence. These are the keys to our thriving future, one that knows no limitations of inequality, poverty, hunger, war, dis-ease, and the endless destruction of our home and resources, Planet Earth.

Together, we have an great opportunity this year to use all the technology, all the connection, and the new business opportunities to shift into a creative paradigm that honors that place within you, that is also within me, which is perfect, powerful and divine. It is time to walk through the gateway of our oneness and unleash our human potential that has been kept from us through our own choice of fear, separation and limitation. This is the year to believe in possibility, to bring love to every part of our lives, yes, even into the marketplace, where the love of power is being replaced by the power of love.

The great cosmic cycle is almost complete. Our sun is aligning with the galactic center of our Milky Way. New energies are flowing through us, and all around us. It is now time to allow the number 11 to activate our hearts as one, creating a gateway where we will pass through, leaving behind our fears and all of our small, myopic beliefs, to emerge on the other side of 2012 with love as the predominant vibration on Earth. Love is the only energy, or currency, that is worth our time, and priceless in value. 2011 is our invitation to transform our lives into conscious gateways, for ourselves, and for the world. It is time to be here and now, and to wake up to the truth that we are the ONE.

Let Go of Control

MikeRobbins96 I had a simple, but profound experience in the swimming pool last week – I floated on my back for the first time in my life. I do know how to swim and enjoy being in the water, but for some reason I never was able to figure out how to float on my back when I learned to swim as a kid and as an adult it hasn’t really been something that has come up as an issue in my life (although it has always been something that I wanted to learn, felt a bit embarrassed about not being able to do, and also didn’t quite understand).

Thanks to the help of my friend Steve last week, I was able to let go and allow the water to support me. It felt scary at first, but once I figured it out, it was an incredibly liberating and relaxing experience. As I was floating there in the pool I had many thoughts, feelings, and insights – the biggest of which had to do with my own obsession with controlling things, and my deep desire and fear about letting go.

How controlling are you? Would you consider yourself very controlling, moderately controlling, or not controlling at all? While each of us falls somewhere along the continuum of control and for some of us this is a bigger issue than others, for most of the people I know and work with, control is an issue that gets in our way – especially in the most important (and stressful) areas of life.

What causes us to be controlling?

There are many reasons, beliefs, and emotions that lead us to hold on tight and feel the need to control others, situations, circumstances, money, communications, food, workflow, details, our environment, and various other “important’ aspects of our lives. However, here are three things that are usually underneath our controlling tendency:

Fear – We worry that things won’t turn out, we will get hurt, bad things will happen, etc.

Unworthiness – We don’t feel as though we deserve support, help, or for things to go our way.

Lack of Trust – We’re scared to let go, count on others, and to believe that things will be okay without us managing every aspect of the situation, relationship, conversation, etc.

What does being controlling cost us?

There is a huge cost associated with being controlling. This negative impact is not only on us and our well-being, but also on those we love, the people we work with, and everyone around us. Here are some of the biggest costs:

Peace

Freedom

Energy

Creativity

Support

Ease

Connection

Love

How can we expand our capacity to let go of control?

There are many things we can do to let go of control. With compassion for ourselves, it’s important to remember that this is a process and something (especially for some of us) that may not come all that easy. Many of us have been literally “trained” (directly or indirectly) to be controlling and in certain environments and situations (at work and at home), being controlling has been encouraged or seemed necessary for our own survival and the survival of those around us.

That being said, here are some things you can do and think about to expand your own capacity to let go of control in a positive and liberating way:

1) Be honest with yourself – Make an authentic assessment about your own controlling nature. It probably varies a bit for you (as it does for most of us), but at the same time we all have certain tendencies, especially in the most important and stressful areas of our lives. With empathy and honesty, take a look at where, how, and why you hold on tight to control in whatever way you do. And, be real with yourself about what this costs and how it impacts you and those around you.

2) Ask yourself, “Am I willing to let go of control?” – This is an important question to ponder and to answer honestly. In some cases and in certain situations, the answer to this question may be “no.” It’s important to honor that if that’s the case for you. And, at the same time, the more willing you are to ask and answer this question, the more likely you are to start letting go of control consciously (assuming it is something you’re truly interested in doing). You may not know how to do it or what it would look like, but authentic willingness is always the first step in positive change.

3) Consider who could support you – Getting support is one of the most important (and often most vulnerable) aspects of letting go of control. Even though we sometimes feel like we’re all alone, that no one “gets it,” and/or that we couldn’t possibly make ourselves vulnerable enough to ask for help (especially in certain areas of life), it’s difficult to let go of control without the support of other people. The irony of asking for help is that many of us don’t feel comfortable doing so and fear it makes us seem weak or needy, and on the flip side most of us love to be asked for help and really enjoy helping others. We can’t do it alone! And, the good news is that most of us have lots of people in our life that would jump at the chance to support us – if we were willing to ask for help more freely.

4) Surrender – This is the bottom line of letting go. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring, it means trusting and allowing things to be taken care of by others, by the process, and by the Universal Intelligence governing life – some call this God, some call this Spirit, some don’t call it anything, but most of us have an experience of It at some level. Surrendering is about consciously choosing to trust and have faith. It is something that can liberate us in a profound way and is all about us choosing to let go.

When we look back on our lives in hindsight, we usually see that “things happen for a reason.” What if we lived in the present moment with this same hindsight awareness? As one of my mentors said to me years ago, “Mike, you’re living your life as though you’re trying to survive it. You have to remember, no one ever has.”

Letting go of control is about loosening our grip, allowing ourselves to be supported, and trusting that things will turn out as they are meant to. Is this easy? Not always, although it can be. However, as we practice this and expand our capacity to let go, we’ll be able to release and transform a good amount of unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety from our lives, our work, and our relationships.

Posted by Mike Robbins on September 12th, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Health, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, faith, fear, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, motivation, self help, surrender, trust

23 aug

The Importance of Unplugging

MikeRobbins96 What percentage of your waking hours are you “plugged in” (i.e. checking things on the internet, doing email, texting, playing with your wireless device, watching TV, posting to Facebook or Twitter, and more)? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, probably more than you’d like to admit.

Recently I began to confront my own obsession (borderline addiction) to being plugged in. For many years I’ve justified my somewhat obsessive nature about email and internet use by the fact that I run my own business and have to stay connected in order to make sure I’m taking care of my clients, generating new business, and not missing out on important opportunities.

However “true” this may seem, in the past few years (especially with the addition of social networking, texting, and other forms of “instant” communication and information sharing), it has become clear to me that my desire to stay connected has gotten a bit out of control and has had a negative impact on my life, my well being, and my relationships.

From entrepreneurs to sales people to managers to stay-at-home moms – just about everyone I know and work with seems to have some form of electronic obsession impacting their lives in a negative way.

About a month ago, I woke up on a Sunday morning and said to my wife Michelle, “I’m going to have a media free day today – no email, iPhone, internet, TV, or anything else. Today, I’m going to be totally unplugged.” She looked at me with a bit of amazement and disbelief – I think both because I was actually saying this and because she wasn’t convinced I could do it.

I had my own doubts and a few weak moments early in the day where I almost fell off the wagon and checked my phone. However, I was able to do it and by the end of that day, I felt great. I was able to relax and be present in a way that felt grounded and peaceful. The past four Sundays I’ve been “unplugged” and I’m loving it.

What if we unplugged more often? What if we gave ourselves permission to disconnect from technology and the “important” world of uber-communication? While for some of us this is easier than others, most of us could benefit from a little more unplugging and a little less emailing/texting/web or channel surfing in our lives.

What’s funny to me is how hypocritical we often are about it. When our spouse, co-worker, or friend is busy on their phone, checking email, or being “obnoxiously” plugged in, we often get annoyed. However, when we’re the one doing it, it’s almost always “necessary.”

Here are a few things you can do to start unplugging yourself in a healthy way.

1) Take inventory of the negative impact of technology in your life. How much stress, frustration, and difficulty does being constantly “plugged in” cause for you? Think about this on a physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual level. Admittedly, this is a bigger issue for some of us than others. However, the more honest you can be with yourself about it – both the impact it has on you and any underlying fears that may be associated with it, the more able you’ll be to alter your habits.

2) Challenge yourself to take conscious breaks. See if you can schedule a full day to be “unplugged.” If that seems to scary at first, try a morning or a few hours. And, if doing a full day seems easy – try a full weekend, a work day, or something else that will be a stretch. I’m working up to doing a full weekend myself and entertaining the idea of week day (although that seems scarier to me at the moment). Push yourself, but go easy on yourself at the same time – baby steps are important and perfectly acceptable with this.

3) Unplug together. See if you can get other people in your house, your family, or those you work with to unplug with you. Doing this with the support of other people can be fun and make it easier. It will also create accountability for you and those around you.

Our issues and challenges with technology and our obsession with being connected and online 24/7 don’t seem to be going away or getting better culturally. In fact, if we just take a look at our own lives and habits in the past few years – for most of us, things are getting worse. It is up to us to interrupt this pattern and to disengage from our electronic obsession in a conscious way.

While unplugging may not always easy or encouraged in the environments we find ourselves in, it’s crucial to our success and well being in life. When we’re able to disconnect ourselves, we can regain some of the passion, energy, creativity, and perspective that often gets diminshed or lost when we allow ourselves to get sucked into our phones, computers, TVs and other devices.

Posted by Mike Robbins on August 23rd, 2010 in General, Global/Social Change | 1 comment Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, motiviation, relationship, relax, stress, Technology

30 jul

The Power of Getting Real

MikeRobbins96 A few weeks ago my wife Michelle and I found out, surprisingly, that we were expecting our third child. Since this wasn’t something we’d planned, we were shocked, excited and a bit freaked out, all at the same time. We began telling lots of people about this big news and starting to imagine our life with another baby – which was both thrilling and overwhelming for us to contemplate.

Within just a few days of learning about the pregnancy, however, we had a miscarriage – something we’d never been through and weren’t quite prepared for. The range of emotions we experienced during that week, and in the weeks that followed, has been quite intense.

As jarring, painful, and somewhat surreal as it has been, Michelle and I both feel a deep sense of peace and gratitude – choosing to believe that this happened for a reason and doing our best to use this experience to deepen our own awareness and healing in life. While it has been difficult, it has also been a very rich time of growth and connection for us on many levels.

One of the most complicated aspects of this experience has been sharing it with others – which we have been somewhat forced to do given that we told a lot of people about the pregnancy. Many people don’t talk about their pregnancies until the second trimester, since the majority of miscarriages take place in those first three months. I understand, even more so now, why people keep this private – as talking about a miscarriage can be quite emotional and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

However, even though this has been an intense process for us and many of the people we’ve talked to about it (especially those who have gone through this personally), Michelle and I have been so grateful for the amazing love and support we’ve received. We’ve also been blown away by how many other people have experienced a miscarriage – some we knew about, but many we didn’t.

Even in the midst of this personal and emotional experience, I’ve also been fascinated by human phenomenon of authenticity at play. There is such power, freedom, and liberation available for us when we get real. And while I do believe that it’s important for each of us to make conscious choices about what we share and with whom, far too often I think we choose not to share certain thoughts, feelings, or experiences because we deem them to be “inappropriate” or “too much” for people to handle.

Sadly, in this process of withholding our true experiences and feelings, we miss out on opportunities to connect with people in an authentic way, get support, share love, wisdom, and empathy, and connect in a real way with everyone around us.

Carl Jung said, “We’re only as sick as our secrets.” And, Mother Teresa said, “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.” Then she said, “Be honest and transparent anyway.”

How We Can Get Real in a Vulnerable Way

One of the best ways to access a deeper sense of authenticity, vulnerability, and transparency is through a powerful exercise called “If you really knew me.” This exercise, which has had a profound impact on my own life and is something I’ve facilitated in various forms with many of the groups and individuals I’ve spoken to or coached over the years, gives people an opportunity to get real and vulnerable.

The exercise was taught to me by my friends and mentors, Rich and Yvonne Dutra-St. John, founders of an incredible organization called Challenge Day, which delivers life-altering, experiential, personal development workshops for teens, schools, and people of all ages. Challenge Day’s high school program is featured in the new MTV reality series which is actually called If You Really Knew Me.

How the exercise works is that each person in the group – usually a smallish group of anywhere from four to eight people (although it can be done one on one or with a larger group) – gets a minute or two of undivided attention from everyone else in the group and repeats this sentence, “If you really knew me, you’d know…” and then completes the sentence by sharing things that are real, vulnerable, and below the surface about themselves (thoughts, feelings, dreams, insecurities, opinions, experiences, passions, challenges, etc.).

There’s no pressure or expectation on each person to share anything they don’t want to share – just a challenge to step outside of their comfort zone, choose to trust the people in the group, and be more open, real, and vulnerable than they may normally be with others.

Whenever I either participate in or facilitate this exercise (as I just did earlier this week during a program I delivered), I’m always amazed by its power. People laugh, cry, get real, let go of things they’ve been holding onto, and truly connect with each other – heart to heart and in an authentic way.

What I always get from this exercise myself and hear people say in different ways is that even though we’re all unique, we’re way more alike than we are different. When we have the courage to get real with each other and speak our truth, it’s one of the most meaningful, rewarding, and connecting experiences we can have with other human beings.

Michelle and I have experienced the power and importance of getting real in these past few weeks. Even though we weren’t prepared for this, didn’t see it coming, and weren’t planning to share it with lots of people – it has been life-altering in so many ways and has taken a difficult, painful, and somewhat unexplainable situation, and turned it into something that is allowing us to grow, deepen, and experience more joy and gratitude in our lives.

When we get real (first with ourselves and then with others), even if it’s scary, uncomfortable, awkward, or intense, it has the potential to liberate us, impact those around us, and bring us all together in a beautiful and genuine way. We don’t have to go through whatever we’re going through in life alone – there is more love, support, and care around each of us than we usually realize and when we’re willing to be real about our experience, let people know what’s truly going on for us, and ask for help when we need it – it’s remarkable what happens!

Posted by Mike Robbins on July 30th, 2010 in Global/Social Change, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Uncategorized | 1 comment Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, Challenge Day, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, miscarriage, motivational speaker, self help, truth, vulnerability

28 jul

A Revolution of Tenderness

The power of tenderness.

It is in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender. ~ Jenny Holzer

The tender skin of one touching the tender skin of another, causing an exquisite encounter, not possible in any other way.

The tender eyes that want nothing from the world, except to welcome and embrace all that generously spills into view.

The tender heart that loves simply for love’s sake, rather than for what one might get out of loving.

Some tender places of the heart can only be known in relationship, when one is willing to lay down arms, open the heart and wait, exposed.

I know the power of tenderness.

We all know the power of tenderness.

Revolution begins with changes in the individual. ~ Jenny Holzer

We already know, well, revolutions of domination, where ‘power over’ has all but brought the human race to death’s door.

We know the power of tenderness in intimate moments.

What if we were to realize that it is in our own self-interest to engage in a revolution of tenderness?

What if we were to realize that the power of tenderness is so much greater than the power of tyranny?

I, too, wonder how this might happen, how we shift from tyranny to tenderness.

Those that engage in domination and destruction stand in a perspective that sees tenderness as weakness, not strength.

But, I also know the only way to begin a revolution within is with a tender ‘yes’, a surrendered ‘yes’.

It begins with trusting that ultimately, the power of tenderness rather than the power of domination will be what saves us.

Which is the more powerful act?

Somewhere within each of us is a place that dominates and condemns – others and ourselves. This place is the most tender of places, because, it fears tenderness, yet longs to be showered with it. This place learned to dominate early. It learned to condemn and judge at an early age. When tenderness was what this place was longing for, instead it received judgment. Somewhere this place believes judgment and condemnation are the best way to be strong in an unsafe world; yet, if you check-in closely, what’s really going on is a longing to be touched with tender hands, to be seen, really seen, with tender eyes, and to be held and embraced by the most tender places of the heart. Hence, it is in your own self-interest to be tender.

We may fear being tender and loving will be seen as weak by those that continue to shower our beautiful world with hate, violence, oppression and greed. And as long as we see it as being weak, they will. When we know the strength of tenderness as a gift to ourselves, and when we see the powerful effects of the offering of tenderness to another, the perspective that ‘tenderness is weakness’ can begin to shift.

Try it. Feel the effects it has on you and others. Compare these to the moments when you judge and condemn others. Then, ask yourself, truly look to see, which is the more powerful act? Which way of being requires true vulnerability and fierce loyalty to love?

We’ve all judged and been judged. We’ve all condemned and been condemned We’ve all dominated and been dominated.We all know these experiences. What if we were to caress another’s ragged coat of life with the tender touch of one who knows these things intimately? This is the real revolution of tenderness that is poised to unfold.

This is the first post in a series of three on tenderness, power and grace. All three posts are part of the Summer of Love Invitational, where the lovely Mahala Mazerov has invited bloggers to write about loving kindness.

Julie Daley is a coach, creativity catalyst and consultant. She works with women who ache to come home to themselves (to know themselves simply as they are, not in relation to any other) and want to live from the truth they discover when they do. Find out more at UnabashedlyFemale.com.

Posted by Julie Daley on July 28th, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in a powerful act, a revolution of tenderness, jenny holzer, loving kindness, tenderness

21 jul

Exploring Compassion

SarahMaria This article is as the title suggests—an exploration. It is an inquiry. Last month’s article was about love. This month — compassion. According to great spiritual teachers, real love is actually much closer to compassion. This begs the question, what is compassion? What does it mean to be compassionate? What is compassionate action?

If you are reading my newsletter and following my work, chances are you want to help or be helped in some way. You may want to alleviate your own pain and suffering, and/or alleviate the pain and suffering of other people. You may want to help heal the environment, or make a difference in the world. Perhaps you consider yourself incredibly blessed and want to give back and share your good fortune. If you are reading this article, chances are you are someone who lives from the heart, guided very often by your feelings of wanting to help, wanting to make a difference. And these feelings can often seem like compassion. Isn’t helping others, being nice, being giving and generous, taking away pain whenever possible, living compassionately?

Consider the dictionary’s definition:

“A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

This definition, in my opinion, is woefully inadequate. It is based on an inherently limited view of reality. It assumes that we, as human beings, are able to judge some else’s misfortune and act appropriately. It also implies that our feelings of wanting to alleviate the sufferings of others are, in and of themselves, compassionate. In my own experience, this is not always the case.

As you come to know your own heart more and more, you can begin to understand more deeply your own motivations. And you may discover that what you thought was a simple desire to help, what you thought was compassion, what you thought was love-in-action, has way more to do with your own wants and needs than with anything else. This is not to say that all feelings of so-called compassion are erroneous, but it does mean that exploring your own motivations, engaging in self-inquiry and exploration, can be useful.

Begin to ask yourself:

How much is my wanting to help an expression of my own wants, needs, and desires?
How much of my wanting to help is based on my own discomfort with other people’s pain?
How much do I identify myself as someone who wants to help make a difference in the world?

Now let me be clear. I am not by any means saying you should not care about other people. I am not in any way implying that it is best to be cold-hearted or indifferent. I am actually assuming that if you are reading this article, you are someone who has a good heart, who is aware of other people, and wants to be kind and generous, spreading love throughout their families and communities.

Which is why I am suggesting that you take your beautiful heart, and begin to understand it more deeply. Begin to explore yourself, your own motivations, more openly.

In order to know yourself, you must be open to the fact that what you think may always be wrong, or at least only a partial perspective. Always be willing for another layer to fall away, so that you may see something that was previously hidden from view.

It is only as you open yourself to this that you can begin to develop an understanding of true compassion, which, in my own exploration, is far from what most people think of when they think of compassion. For the more willing you are to know yourself, to see whatever there is to be seen, the greater your chance of letting life live you, of letting love purify your heart, so that you can be used in whatever way the universe deems fit.

As I have personally engaged in this inquiry, I have made some startling discoveries. Here are just a few of the things that have surprised me:

- Sometimes compassion doesn’t feel good.
- Sometimes being compassionate means doing nothing, even when someone else is in pain. In fact, doing nothing may often be the most compassionate choice.
- Any real compassion is impossible as long as your ego is dictating your behavior.
- True compassion is not about individual wants, desires, or needs in any way.

This month, let your life be an exploration into yourself, into your own heart. Be open to being surprised, and maybe even dismayed for a moment or two. Discover what motivates you, and be open to whatever is revealed.

Sarah Maria’s Bio:

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Visit: sarahmaria.com and BreakFreeBeauty.com to learn more.

Posted by Sarah Maria on July 21st, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in Exploring Compassion

21 jul

Prosperity Paradigm Part 2: Knowing What We’re Really Worth

SkySheridan War, poverty, corruption, hunger, misery, human suffering will not change in a monetary system. That is, there will be very little significant change. It’s going to take the total redesign of our culture and values. -Jacque Fresco

Think of it. If one cell in your body survives and succeeds at the expense of the entire organism, it will soon no longer have the organism in order to succeed off of, and it, alone will die. And this is what is happening with the old consciousness and energy on our planet. The way the system has been set up for all of us is no longer being accepted because we are waking up to our worth.

The fear paradigm has been presented to humanity for ages. It asks us to turn over our power to an authority, an outside power. It is a world where few have power, benefit, and truth. We’ve lived it and tried it and it is failing all of us. We are still at war. We are still sick with disease. We are still hungry and hoping for the truth: that love and life are the most valuable currency.

Without the success of the entire planet and all its beings, you and I cannot succeed either. And without the knowing of self, and achieving of success within the self, then the world will not succeed either. It starts with YOU.

Shifting the way we think about our personal worth starts by “Knowing Thyself”. You are infinitely rich in potential. You don’t need money in order to achieve anything of worth. Don’t ever forget that anyone who has ever changed the world, like Gandhi, left a legacy of fulfillment like Dr. Martin Luther King, or found freedom like the forefathers, did so by started with what was inside of them, their thoughts, and you’re a walking bank of them right now.

When do we begin to value ourselves, and the planet over profit? It’s already happening. A visible conscious shift is underway within today’s consumer. We are getting connected on issues like saving the planet, we are interested in organic food, holistic healing and yoga, we want to help each other regardless of nationality or religion, we are getting involved, we want to use our power to create healthier more meaningful lives.

And think about the things that really have value and meaning in your life. The things that bring you joy. Your unique experiences. Your first kiss. A smile from a stranger. That hug you needed when you felt down in the dumps. How about when you paint, sing, dance, write or draw? Creativity is really what we value because creators are who we really are.

Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative Class, postulates that in order for the economy to thrive, it has to radically evolve. It is going to have to put, as financial guru Suze Orman puts it, “people first, then money.” Because of the Internet, and the age of information and awareness, companies and governments are forced to become accountable, transparent, socially/ecologically responsible and they are answering to us, the people. And we are eager to go green and give back. We want products that are by the people, for the people.

The destructive economy is dying of its own unsustainable accord and the creative economy is emerging. You can join it by shifting your consciousness within, to you.

As infinite potential, our consciousness contains all the collective components necessary to not just merely survive this life, but to thrive in it. Life is a gift, not a test. Life thrives on the bottom of the ocean with no sunlight, plants grow out of the cracks of cement, our entire pale blue dot of a planet swims in the midst of chaotic deadly cosmic sea. There is always a way for life to be prosperous, beautiful and joyful regardless of the outer circumstances. That is because the value of life comes from within, where the divine lives.

Now is our time to embrace this and shift the current economy to something that serves and values all of us. Until every man, woman and child is clothed, housed and fed, and until we restore our lives to the natural emergent harmonious cycles and systems of nature, which is the enemy of profit (scarcity) because ALL life is abundantly prosperous. Prosperity is the natural state of our unlimited ability to create an abundance of anything we desire.

Once we shift our consciousness from being currency centered to being connected with our true inner worth, which also means being connected to each other and the planet, we can begin to construct a world that eradicates war, poverty, corruption, suffering, hunger and separation.

Lets start being aware right now that we can set ourselves free to create an economy that we deserve, one that places the value of people and the planet first. Because we are, and always have been, abundantly wealthy in the one currency (or energy) that never loses value, can be bought or sold, or that is scarce; LOVE. And love is what we are all really worth.

Sky Sheridan is founder of the conscious Ad-venture, Called2Create. Find out how to empower your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about yourself, others and the world by clicking here: Called2Create and awaken your creative capacity and infinite potential now.

Posted by Sky Sheridan on July 21st, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in 2012, Affirmation, Aura, Babies, beauty, body, Called2Create, Chakra, change, Community, Connection, Consciousness, Creation, Dance, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Earth, Environment, Fashion, Finance, Funny, Green, Hay House, HEALING, Heaven, Holistic, Inner Being, Joy, Laughter, light, Louise L. Hay, LOVE, Massage, Mind, Models, money, Mormon, Mother Nature, Music, Namaste, New Age, News, Obama, Oprah, Planet Earth, religion, Spirit, Spiritual, The Secret, Wellbeing, Wellness, Yoga

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