In this election year it’s painfully clear that there are many people with many differences. Many needs. Many perspectives. Many polarities. Many grievances. Many resentments. Many biases. Many prejudices. A great deal of intolerance. A great deal of hostility. A great deal of rage and aggression.

We have forgotten who we are. We have forgotten that we originally all came from one Source. We all came from a place of Unity, a place of Universal Acceptance and Love. And then we fell into a dream of separation, a dream of selfish egos competing with each other rather than cooperating, attacking each other rather than living in harmony.

We have lost our way. We have lost our universal identity as a brotherhood of people. So caught up in the distinction of skin color, races and nations, we have lost our true connection with God. And now, amidst all the chaos, the confusion, the rage and the hate, we must find our way Home. We must find a way to re-unite with God and each other before we destroy ourselves. How do we do this?

How do we unify amidst so much divisiveness and venom?

It surely would be a whole lot easier and happen a whole lot faster if we had leaders who made acceptance, forgiveness and love the platform of their party, the priority above all other priorities, the glue holding together their political agenda.

Unfortunately, that’s not what’s happening. When I listen to the various presidential candidates all I hear is what they’re going to do for us. Right now it’s the Republicans, but later it will be the Democrats doing the very same thing, everybody telling us what they’re going to do for us.

No one telling us what WE need to do for us, what you and I, what we the people need to do for ourselves if we want to truly solve our problems. If we want a world where people cooperate and co-exist in harmony, peace and prosperity, we must appreciate that it won’t happen at the level of nations and leaders.

It will happen from the ground up. It will happen first with the choices that WE make, you and I, each and every one of us. The choices we make to be more tolerant, more accepting, more loving, more forgiving, and more generous.

Easier said than done amidst so much anger, grievance, resentment and judgment swirling all around us, so many of us seeing the differences in people rather than the similarities, seeing others as the enemy if they don’t think the same way we do. If they have a different god or a different religion or a different political persuasion, if they’re too far to the left or too far to the right, we don’t just disagree, we demonize them, we label them evil and dangerous, they’re going to destroy America.

All this fear mongering, all this demonizing has got to stop. It solves nothing. It further polarizes people. It makes things worse.

Bottom line: There are too many people with divergent views and needs. For any of us to take extreme intransigent positions and expect the rest of the nation to get on board is unrealistic and counterproductive. We will never have a nation where everyone thinks the same way. We must find common ground amidst the differences. We must find ways to cooperate, compromise and negotiate for the greatest good of all concerned.

How do we do this? One person at a time. One mind at a time. One heart at a time. We do it by example. By role modeling right action. Albert Schweitzer had it right when he said, “Example is leadership.”

Example is leadership.

We cannot rely on our leaders to be the examples of right action. We must be the example. We must be the role models. We must each of us make the personal commitment to discourage the fear-mongering, the demonizing, the rageful, hate speech about those who don’t share our beliefs.

If we don’t do it, it’s not going to happen. All the divisiveness will defeat us in the long run. Not global warming. Not earthquakes and tsunamis. Not nuclear weapons. Not terrorists. Our divisiveness will defeat us.

We are the enemy of ourselves when we lack tolerance and compassion, and lash out at those we disagree with. True patriotism means respecting our fellow citizens regardless of their political viewpoints or religious beliefs.

We have been trained to believe in concepts like “every man for himself,” and “kill or be killed” which suggest that we must compete and battle others if we are to succeed and prevail. We have been trained to believe that aggression is necessary in order to survive.

The truth is that we do not need aggression in order to survive. The truth is that we will not prevail, in the long run, as long as we believe we must attack and subjugate others in order to win.

Most people think that “survival of the fittest” means survival of the strongest, the most aggressive, the most violent and predatory. They are wrong. Survival of the fittest in the final analysis will be survival of the spiritually fittest, survival of those who strive to unite rather than divide, survival of those who strive to let go of judgments and prejudices, survival of those who strive to embrace acceptance and tolerance, survival of those who are dedicated to the application of compassion, generosity and forgiveness.

The meek shall inherit the earth.

“The meek shall inherit the earth” doesn’t mean the weak shall inherit the earth. It means those who are humble, accepting and forgiving shall inherit the earth, those who embrace peaceful methods to solve problems, to bridge divergent ideologies, and to find the common ground shall inherit the earth.

We will not survive as a nation, as a people, as a planet unless we recognize that the solution to all of our problems requires a unified approach that embraces trust, compassion and cooperation rather than further entrenchment in the ideology of war and destruction of others as a means to our peace and prosperity.

There is great beauty in the diversity of nature. There is great beauty in the diversity of human beings. But instead of appreciating that diversity and glorifying it, we fear it, we blame it, we scapegoat it, we destroy it… and in the process we destroy ourselves. Sooner or later we destroy ourselves with our fear and our divisiveness. Therefore, it behooves us to find a way to rise above the battlefield, to perceive the world in a different light, so that we can appreciate the foolishness of attacking others.

One way to do this is to consider the analogy of a jigsaw puzzle. Each jigsaw puzzle piece looks different in some way from other pieces, but each piece is inherently the same, in the sense that each piece is an integral part of the puzzle that contributes to the puzzle’s wholeness. Without every single piece, the puzzle is not complete.

It would be irrational and self-destructive for one puzzle piece to hurt or destroy another puzzle piece because the integrity of the whole puzzle, which each piece is ultimately dependent upon, would be damaged in the process.

We are all puzzle pieces. Each of us looks different but we’re all the same. Each of us a piece of the puzzle, a piece of the total picture, a piece of God. When we attack one another, we are being irrational and self-destructive because we are attacking the integrity of the whole organism, we are attacking the Oneness which each of us is a part of. We are essentially attacking God when we attack any of his children.

And so it behooves us to appreciate the Oneness of Life, that despite differences and diversity, we are all the same, that we were all cut from the same cloth, that we are all part of the whole, that we are all interconnected, that we were all created by God and deserve equally all the blessings of life that God offers, that we need to share our blessings with others, that we need to care about those less fortunate than ourselves, that there is one thing we need to do above all else and that is to treat others as we wish to be treated.

Love ye one another.

This is how we will unify our nation and our world. With love. With acceptance. With tolerance and with forgiveness. This is what we must practice and preach. Love. Acceptance. Tolerance and Forgiveness. This is how we must behave towards each other. This is the behavior we need to role model for our children. Unconditional love, acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness.

We must teach our children well. We must teach our children to recognize their spiritual brothers and sisters in everyone they see, regardless of what they look like, what clothes they are wearing, what country they came from, the color of their skin, the language they speak, or the God they believe in.

We must teach our children and everyone we meet the virtues of generosity, courtesy, consideration, humility and grace. We must teach our children and everyone we meet to be of service to others, to aid others as best we can, to ask the question, “How can I help you?” rather than “What’s in it for me?”

We must teach our children and everyone we meet to find ways to let go of anger and hurt, to see the God in people, the good in people, despite how they’re behaving, to find ways to hate the sin but love the sinner.

We must teach our children and everyone we meet that there is a oneness, there is a wholeness of which we are all a part, that we are all inextricably bound together, that we each have a responsibility to each other, that we ARE our brother’s keeper, that we must exclude no one from our love, that we’re all in this together, that nobody wins if anybody loses.

In this election year and the years to come, try to remember that it is our job not to elect leaders but to BE leaders, to be the role models that our world needs to survive and to thrive. It is our job to find the similarities, the commonalities rather than the differences. It is our job to find ways to unify rather than divide. It is our job to remember that either we all hang together or we will surely hang separately.

Forgive To Win!

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On an entirely different note: I am on Day 4 of the ACIM Workbook For Students: “These thoughts do not mean anything. They are like the things I see in this room.” … The point being: The thoughts we think, perceived as either “good” or “bad”, are actually masking or blocking our True Thoughts. They are a meaningless smokescreen designed by our ego, born of fear, to maintain the belief in separation. Insofar as the things we see are a projection of our thoughts, since we’re not really thinking, we’re not really seeing. Only when our Mind is grounded in Unity, Oneness, and Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, and Acceptance will we actually see the Real World with all of its miraculous beauty and eternal peacefulness.

For those of you who view the above paragraph as too far out there… understood. A Course In Miracles is not for everyone. It’s not an easy read. It’s not an easy program to master, which is why I wrote my book, Forgive To Win!, which shares the core concepts of the Course but explains them in ways that are easier for most people to understand and apply. I encourage you to take a look at the book on Amazon where you can peek inside. Additionally, if you subscribe to my free newsletter you can download a free chapter from the book on Self-Loathing & Self-Sabotage.

Which brings me back to the initial paragraph I wrote about going after your dreams and taking action: When we learn how to love ourselves and forgive ourselves – the crux of A Course In Miracles and Forgive To Win!, we eliminate the unconscious self-sabotaging programming getting in the way of our happiness, our relationships, our physical well-being, our success, our prosperity and our inner peace.

When we meld tools of self-mastery with humanistic choices as to how we perceive and treat others, there are no limits, there is nothing we can’t accomplish. It is not simply faith that moves mountains. It is forgiveness, acceptance and love. Hold these thoughts in your mind as much as you can, as best you can, wherever you are and under all circumstances, regardless of how others are behaving, without conditions or exceptions — and watch your world get better.

No joke. No lie. It works if you work it: Change your Mind. Change your Life. Change your World.

Peace, joy and blessings to you all!

Forgive To Win!

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In my late twenties I read the Bible, the Old and New Testament, for the first time. Although I was impressed with the transformation of God’s consciousness from the Old Testament God of anger, judgment, vengeance and war to the New Testament God of peace, love, acceptance, charity and forgiveness, I was more impressed with the implications of several thought-provoking Biblical comments:

(1) From the Book of Matthew: He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

If the above-passage is an accurate quote from Jesus of the Christ, that’s pretty awesome and powerful. “Nothing will be impossible for you.” That’s not a vague and ambiguous assertion. That’s a description of how Reality Manifestation works. That’s the Secret right there. That’s the Law of Attraction, the Law of Abundance. The power of the Mind to transcend time and transform space, and thereby create the reality of one’s choosing! “Nothing will be impossible for you.” Wow. I like the sound of that. And I find it hard to believe that Jesus of the Christ was exaggerating. His word was his bond.

(2) From the Book of Mark: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” I don’t take the word “rich” literally here. I believe what was meant instead of rich is the word greedy. “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a greedy man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Greed is of the ego. Greed is about competition and separation rather than cooperation and unity. Greed is about judgment, aggression and unforgiveness, not acceptance, tolerance and harmony. Greed is not of God and if you really want to get to God and Heaven and the Garden of Eden, or whatever else you understand to be a place of eternal, unconditional peace, compassion and joy, then be of Service to Others. Help others. If you’ve got two coats, give one away to a needy brother.

3) From the Book of Matthew: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

Meek doesn’t mean weak. Meek doesn’t mean wimpy. Meek doesn’t mean sucker or chump. Meek means those who are gentle, those who are non-violent, those who are compassionate, those who are accepting of others, those who are unconditionally forgiving. “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” The implication of this being that those who seek peace through violence and murder are not blessed and will inherit the wind.

4) From the book of Matthew: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” This is very clear. The message is basically that if you walk a righteous, honest and forgiving path, you will get the life that you want. You’ll get the goodies. First be a person of integrity. First be of service to others. First let go of anger, fear, judgment and attack. First forgive. And then “all these things will be added to you.” In other words: You win. You Forgive To Win!

5) From the Book of John: “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” In other words, All these things that I have done, you can do and more if you have faith in me, if you follow my principles of forgiveness, acceptance, and love. That’s the ticket. There’s the message again: Want to do 22 impossible things before breakfast? First seek the kingdom of heaven. First be a person of honor. And then with your faith you’ll move mountains, and all things will come to you.

Why? Because when we get our mind focused on Forgiveness, Acceptance and Love, this removes the obstacles to the natural flow of abundance and prosperity which is available in infinite amounts to everyone.

So that’s my New Year’s resolution: To first seek the kingdom of heaven. To first be a person of honor. To forgive. To accept. To love. As best I can. As unconditionally as I can. Wherever I am. Without exceptions. Without expectations. Without the need for appreciation or acknowledgment.

To have forgiveness, teach forgiveness to learn it.

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Forgive To Win!

Perhaps because those who suffer from the holiday blues look at their current life situation and perceive it as empty and lonely, lacking in loving, nurturing relationships, lacking in meaningful, supportive family bonds, lacking in personal fulfillment, lacking in health and happiness. Perhaps because those who suffer from the holiday blues fear the future will deliver them more of the same. More loneliness. More alienation. More frustration. More regret. More pain and suffering. So what do we do about it?

REFUSE THE BLUES

Best we not focus on the disappointments of the past. When thoughts of the past pop into our mind, we give them no power to terrorize us. We gently tell them to go away and haunt someone else. We don’t want those thoughts anymore. We don’t need them for our safety or protection. We don’t wish to victimize ourselves anymore with painful memories.

Best we not focus on the potential disappointments of the future. When anxious, fearful thoughts about the future pop into our mind, we give them no power to terrorize us. We gently tell them to go away and haunt someone else. We don’t want those thoughts anymore. We don’t need to dwell on all the horrible “what ifs” that might someday happen. We don’t need to fill our mind with anticipatory thoughts of failure, loneliness, pain and suffering possibly yet to come. We don’t wish to victimize ourselves anymore with the belief that we will not be able to handle what our life’s future has to offer.

BE HERE NOW. BE LOVE NOW.

The above subhead are two titles from books by Ram Dass, whose spiritual journeys he has distilled into these two phrases of powerful wisdom. The best way to overcome the holiday blues or any blues for that matter is to BE HERE NOW: Be in the present. Appreciate that in this present moment is massive potential for happiness and contentment. In this present moment we can look at the beauty of nature all around us. In this present moment we can marvel at the miracle of life in all its myriad forms, animal, vegetable and mineral. In this present moment we can BE LOVE NOW: We can help a stranger, hug a friend, ease someone else’s pain, share a laugh or a smile, see the love in everyone despite how they’re behaving, forgive others for they know not what they do, accept the Oneness of life despite the differences and diversity that sometimes can seem quite disorienting or frightening, appreciate the connection we have to the earth, to the wind and water, to all creatures big and small, and above all else, to each other.

ABOVE ALL ELSE: LOVE YE ONE ANOTHER

There is great joy to be had in this world, in our present moments despite not having the relationships, position and possessions we desire, by simply connecting with others. Making eye contact with others. Extending acceptance, tolerance, love and forgiveness to others. Do these things on a daily basis. What you give to others you can’t keep from yourself. What you give to others will come back to you.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

They rush around in reactive mode, relying on external pressures and sheer willpower to create adrenaline-driven motivation. Pushing as hard as they can for as long as they can – and sacrificing their health and wellbeing in the meantime – inevitably, they crash and burn.

On the other side of the fence are those who are operating at their optimum, setting a pace that’s sustainable for the long term and most favorable to achieving the results they want. Yes, they sprint full out when necessary but they do it on a full tank of gas and then take the time to rest and recover.

Which way sounds better to you? If you’re interested in a saner, healthier way to thrive and succeed, here are three ways to move toward optimum performance:

1. Know your why. Let’s start with a little brain science. In his book, Start With Why, Simon Sinek points out that the oldest part of our brain, the limbic system, is where our emotions and behavior originate.

The best way to access our emotions – which are what drive our actions — is by understanding our fundamental “why.” Is it to grow, to inspire, to teach? Rather than focusing solely on the “what” — the different career path or major promotion, say — digging deep to excavate a true sense of purpose is what will ignite your motivation and give you clarity.

2. Fortify your mindset. The more information we have access to – on TV, in the newspapers and in conversations overheard — the more negativity we’re likely to encounter. Unless, that is, we proactively create a shield against it.

Before you dive into your day, take 15 minutes to feed your mind inspiring content that shifts your default setting toward the positive and expands your idea of what’s possible –biographies of people you admire, personal development books, inspiring quotes — clear your mind with meditation or journaling, and mentally rehearse how you want the key events of the day to go. Your day will start off smoother and, when you do encounter a setback, you’ll handle it with greater ease and aplomb.

3. Create positive rituals for energy recovery. Sports psychologist Jim Loehr says: “Time, by itself, is fundamentally valueless unless it intersects with our best energy. That’s because it’s our best energy that enables us to be extraordinary.”

People in maximum mode burn through their energy sources until there’s nothing left. Energy, however, is a renewable resource, if we take measures to recover. One way to replenish our mental, emotional and spiritual energy is to create positive rituals. More than a routine, these are precise, consciously acquired behaviors that become automatic, fueled by a deep sense of meaning and purpose: date night on Fridays with your significant other, reading a chapter of a novel at lunchtime, or going to yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

No question, with the hyped-up expectations of the modern world breathing down your neck, choosing a sustainable pace requires discipline and conviction. But which would you rather be: ahead at the 25^th mile of the marathon, or the first to run across the finish line?

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

By Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

We’ve all heard it takes 30 days to create a habit. How we relate to those first 30 days may make all the difference. Today I have the privilege of bringing you Ariane de Bonvoisin, author of The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier.

Ariane is also CEO and founder of first30days.com, an organization developed to help people transition through any change, whether it’s career, health, lifestyle, relocation, or personal relationship changes. She has been named MSN’s Life Change Expert and her advice is sought by thousands around the country.

Today Ariane is going to talk to us about why it’s so hard for people to make sustained changes in life, and what we can do about it.

Elisha: Your book seems to have references to mindfulness in it, the act of being present to our everyday lives while putting aside our lenses of judgment; getting in touch with the direct experience of the present moment. How do you see the first 30 days from a mindful perspective?

Ariane: Change is always an opportunity to pause, go inside, listen to our “inner microphone” and be in the present. Our lives get so busy, we live based on routines, we never really “think” we don’t want to change. So when change does happen, either by courageous choice or from life circumstances, it is asking us to be honest with what is, and also what is not working for us and our lives.

Mindfulness is about being totally aware of what our mind is feeding us during change. Usually its one of a few dominant disempowering programs: Disapproval, comparison, and perfection are the main ones. The mind is going to feed us the usual “change demons,” classic emotions that show up as well to the “change party”– fear, doubt, blame, shame, guilt and impatience. Being mindful during change is started by being aware. Aware of what emotion is getting your attention, welcoming it up, asking for its message and letting it be rather than resisting or escaping it.

Moments of change also happen to help us let go of the need for control. Control of knowing an outcome, of how we can speed things up, get out of the void, or this period of uncertainty, the unknown. Being mindful during change is simply about staying with the shakiness. From all change, something good happens. Life is on our side if we just let it be and surrender to it. It knows the way.

Elisha: In your book you mention an important practice of creating a change resume. Can you sum up for us what this is and why it’s important in helping us making real change?

Ariane: One of the 9 principles of change that I discuss in the book, is what I call “The Change Muscle.” People who are good at change know they are resilient, strong and can get through anything. Many of us will say things like, “I am bad at change, I hate change, I resist change,” when the truth is very different.

We have all gone through dozens of changes we have never acknowledged ourselves for — divorce, loss of a loved one, graduation, starting a job, losing weight, handling a health diagnosis, buying a home, moving, having a baby, forgiving someone and so on. We are focused on our professional resume when really who you are is a combination of all the changes you’ve ever made, faced and witnessed.

So I ask people to take a blank piece of paper and start writing these down….soon enough, your page will be filled with changes. Next I ask that you write down the good thing that came from each of these changes so you bring back into your conscious mind the connection between life changes and good things emerging, despite the difficulty at the time. Finally, I have people make a list of what the main thing was that helped them through — was it a person, a belief, their faith, getting healthy, time, doing things for others?

This exercise helps people get their power back. You’re the person that got through all this, so today, even though the change you’re going through now may be new, something you’ve never faced, you are not showing up without any “tools,” experiences, beliefs, ways that you have handled change in the past. You know what helped you.

Elisha: On Mondays I cite a quote or poem and explore its relevance to our everyday life. One post called 5 Quotes that Can Change Your Life listed five quotes from your book that I found particularly interesting. What are five of your favorite quotes from your book?

Ariane:

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

“The single most important decision any of us ever have to make is whether to believe we live in a friendly universe,” ~Albert Einstein

“Hidden in any misfortune is good fortune.” ~Tao Te Ching

“When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time,” ~Byron Katie

“Be patient towards all that is unsolved within your heart, and try to love the questions themselves…” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Sometimes I just think of a question, or challenge and just open the book and read the quote that’s on the page. It’s a great way to use the book once you’ve read it.

Elisha: If you were sitting across the table from someone who was having real difficulty with making change, what advice would you give him or her to help make sustained change?

Ariane: I’d identify what the belief, excuse, story or emotion that is in the way and really shine a light on that, get it out of the shadows — what’s being resisted — and get to the root of that. The time before a change/decision is always much harder than the actual decision itself.

People aren’t changed or helped by information, but by inspiration, so I get them in touch with WHY they want to make this change. The why is the fuel, not the “how” or “by when.” Why do you want to leave a job, why do you want to pursue this dream, why do you want to loose the weight, etc.

I’d want to know who was on their “change support team.” We somehow always feel alone when we are going through change and the truth is we all get through a change because of other people being there, and believing we can make that change. And it’s often not your closest friends or family by the way. If they don’t have someone, I’d get them on our site where we have thousands going through the same change.

Finally, I’d get them to take the first step towards any positive sustained change, which is to take care of themselves, their health. It’s the SEED of all change (Sleep, Eating well, Exercising and Drinking water). When you feel healthy, in your body, you get out of your head, your self esteem rises, your power returns, you are moving these emotions through your body, you feel strong. Change happens through the body, the heart, not in the head.

Wow, thank you so much for your wisdom Ariane.

To the readers: As always please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

I did over a dozen radio shows and a TV appearance on Inside Edition for graduates on how to find a job in a no-job environment. It airs this week. They haven’t told me what day yet. Check back in for that or follow me on Twitter–@clickariane is my name over there. (My next blog post will be all the tips for graduates by the way. I will post it mid week.)

So, I thought in celebration of the book I’d share a few stories/testimonials I found on-line. Perhaps if you haven’t purchased a copy yet for yourself and/or a friend going through change, this may inspire you to do so.

From Amazon by P. Bergkvist

This review is from: The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More) (Hardcover)

I met Ariane when she was working for the Boston Consulting Group in London. I was still at the university she had studied at and was interviewing at BCG. I didn’t get the job but our meeting sparked a fascinating chain of events in my life…I only talked to Ariane briefly but the next day she came to find me at the university, listened to me, a stranger, moan about my plight and then told me to join her for a walk around London. We talked about life, work, study, travel, finding employment; we brainstormed other options and how my life might be better without the job (how many people put themselves out for strangers like that?).

A few months later when Ariane was traveling through London we met up again. I hadn’t found a job and was struggling with my studies. When we said good-bye Ariane announced that she wasn’t going to get in touch and didn’t want to hear from me until I received the grades I needed. Perhaps, she said, that would help me understand how important it was for me to regain my focus. Then she just walked off. I was stunned but what an effect it had! Eventually I went on to do a Masters in Barcelona and then found a job with another consulting firm in New York. It was perfect and I loved it. A year later Ariane moved to New York after Stanford – I had got back in touch with her via fax (a strange notion, I know). In New York I had the opportunity to really get to know this ‘life coach’ who had helped me re-frame my thinking so dramatically. I know I’m not the only one with such an “Ariane story.”

So the book? Well, to me it is Ariane. A reflection of how she lives and what she has seen work in her own life and the many lives she has touched. A reflection of who she is as a person: somebody who helps. When I read non-fiction I’m almost more interested in the authenticity of the author so I thought I’d tell you about how I met Ariane in case you are too. Ariane has always been a change expert and so it is no surprise that the book is finding success and touching people. It can’t not because it’s authentic.

From Barnes and Noble by Lorne:

May 16, 2009: I’m stuck in a dead end job and my girlfriend told me she’s bored and wants to see other people. My dad has been sick and I don’t think he’s going to make it. Finally, the pump on my fish tank failed and I awoke the other morning to find my 22 African Cichlids floating, dead in my living room. My gosh my life sucks. I went to my local B&N for some retail therapy and found this book. It jumped off the shelf. I don’t usually go for self help books, but this was different. It was easy to read, with lots of tips and relatable quotes. I couldn’t put it down and read 20 pages standing in the bookstore! A first. What I want to say to anyone reading this review is… if you’re stuck and or bad things are happening to you, this book can help. It made me feel not alone and gave me one or two things to think about. More than my friends and family could do. Also, I don’t care what anyone says… I realized most of the bad things that are happening are because I haven’t wanted to take chances. My job — I HATE it and want to leave, so who’s to blame? My girlfriend — been bored for a year, so what does that say? My dad — okay… that just stinks, but at least I have a better perspective on dealing with him. My fish — I was getting tired of caring for them — of course I didn’t want them to die, but I couldn’t figure out a way to get rid of them. I was afraid of change and look what happened to me! This book is a way out of the fear. I recommend it. This is my first book review. I hope it helps one person. Get this book.

Here are some wonderful excerpts from reviews on Amazon and Barnes and Noble:

1. Never before have I been so thoroughly moved and felt more strongly connected to a self-help book. In fact, I dare say, this is a WORLD-HELP book because there isn’t anyone I know in the entire world who wouldn’t benefit from reading and incorporating the poignant, open-hearted and practical advice Ariane de Bonvoisin presents in her book.

The First 30 Days is the new gold standard that even my other favorite self-help guru, Wayne Dyer, would be impressed with. I’m now going to start following Ariane on Twitter and already love receiving the great daily e-mail tips from her same-as-book-title website.

2. I fortuitously found this book on a library shelf the day after my husband left me. I figured it would just be a cliched, self-help book, and was instead thrilled to find a fresh, helpful, wonderful guide to meeting changes in life head on. It’s only been a week since he left, and everyone is amazed at how strong I am, which is mostly thanks to this book. Needless to say, I have ordered my very own copy- this one’s a keeper! (Even if hub wasn’t- ha!)

3. Thanks for this book it seemed to show up when I needed it most. Funny how life works that way sometimes- Now I’m a change optimist!

4. If you’re stuck and or bad things are happening to you, this book can help. It made me feel not alone and gave me one or two things to think about. More than my friends and family could do. Also, I don’t care what anyone says… I realized most of the bad things that are happening are because I haven’t wanted to take chances. My job — I HATE it and want to leave, so who’s to blame? My girlfriend — been bored for a year, so what does that say? My dad — okay… that just stinks, but at least I have a better perspective on dealing with him.

5. In a sea of bookstores with a tidal wave of abundantly overflowing self-help sections, Ariane de Bonvoisin has written the ONE book that has become, for me, the illuminating beacon that pierces through life’s ever-increasing murkiness and fog.

6. Your bible to survive, enjoy and delight in change is here! Everything you need to know about how you can change your life for the better is detailed in this book. Ariane is an amazing, timely gift for the planet.

7. This book is so right now and full of great insights, tips and inspiring words to help anyone through life’s changes.

The press have already picked up on the book, whether it’s Oprah Magazine, BusinessWeek, USAToday, The Today Show, CBS, and i’m very fortunate to have endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Arianna Huffington, David Bach, Wayne Dyer and many more.

This book is so timely for anyone who has lost a job or is looking to find one, anyone graduating, going through a divorce or a health diagnosis or contemplating making any change. Maybe you finally want to commit to handling your finances, pursuing a dream, or living spiritually. I guarantee you that this book and these never-released gifts, will help you change your life!

Get a copy of the book now and also pass this message onto any friend or colleague or anyone you know who’s going through a change right now.

Thank you and let me know how you’re doing.

For those who haven’t read my book yet, here are two easy options for you! It’s just out in a new Kindle edition at Amazon. And, the paperback version will be out in about six weeks. So, take your pick.

Let me know how it helps you. We’ve received thousands of testimonials. It’s also a wonderful gift for friends and family who may be facing some tough changes or perhaps wanting some help to make a change in their lives.

So, yesterday’s Wimbledon tennis final between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer was arguably the best tennis match the world has ever seen — it may have been one of the greatest sporting events in history. Whether you are a tennis fan, or have never seen a game or set foot on a court, here are the extraordinary highlights:

Federer, the reigning Wimbledon champ — who has won five times in a row — was beaten by Nadal in the first two sets. Federer took the following two sets at tie breaks. The match was called for rain twice. Nadal finally won 9-7 in the fifth set, falling to the ground in sheer exhaustion and elation as the next Wimbledon Champion. This was the longest men’s final at Wimbledon, clocking in at 4 hours and 48 minutes.

Now I’m sure you’re thinking “Yes, yes, very exciting, but what does this have to do with change?” It’s about attitude. During change we tend to:

• think negatively and imagine the worst
• give up hope and faith
• give up on ourselves or someone else
• live in the past, focusing on what we did wrong
• get mad at ourselves
• feel regret
• call things “unfair”
• doubt and doubt some more

These are all what I affectionately call change demons in my book — they are those destructive emotions that get in the way of your success in changing your life.

Change often throws us curveballs; things we cannot possibly control (just as these players could not control the rain that fell on their match). As Nadal struggled through the final set, I told myself “Well, if Nadal wins, I promise to have just a bit more hope in some things I am struggling with in my life.” Remember, just like this Wimbledon final shows us, something can change at any moment….don’t be so convinced that you know how something in your life is going to work out!! Anything, anything can happen. There are great lessons to be learned from Federer as well. Staying graceful and calm under immense pressure and showing true valiant effort in a rally from 2 full sets down is highly commendable. Here is a man who knows who he is, and can reconnect to that change muscle at anytime….especially when it matters most. And in honor of Nadal, here is to remaining radically optimistic, staying in the present moment and not getting caught up in the emotions or stress that come with pursuing our dreams, and never ever ever giving up hope.