All ‘Finances’ Posts

03 aug

Where Does Your Time Go?

Would You Hire Your Personal Management Team?
(The ones in the mirror)

When you gain clarity around your money relationship one of the most positive results is that you become aware of how and with whom you spend 2 precious commodities: your time and your energy. Your priorities become straight and your energy is used more wisely as you become cognizant of the fact that a prosperous life is one where you use your energy towards things that deepen your sense of purpose and well being.

The simplest way to get awareness around your Time, Energy, Money factor is to track everything you do in a day. Then, go through each activity and ask

* How much time did it take?
* How much of my energy did it require of me? What is the quality of energy I received in the doing of it?
* How much money did it cost? Or how much money did I make given the Time and Energy I put into t?

What matters to you? What activities could you curtail or give to someone else?
Do you create busy work for yourself as a form of procrastination – a form of resistance? I remember how lost I felt when I first hired someone to assist me with administrative work. All this freed up time showed me how I was kidding myself. The “if only I had someone to help me” tape was no longer valid and now I was scrambling to find things for her to do! Uncovering the true motivations behind my habits of fear and resistance helped me move through to a more effective way of being.

When I started tracking my money I realized I was spending an extra 45 minutes to an hour waiting in long lines at the grocery store, at the end of long days when I was super tired and would have rather been at home. Now I get in my big weekly shopping which gives me extra time, let’s me apply my energy and focus on things I consciously know will support my purpose in life. And, it requires me to be more organized about my food because I have to plan ahead. Seemingly small things create a much bigger impact in other areas of your life – well beyond your Time + Energy + Money factor.

A client who started tracking her money noticed she was spending an inordinately high amount on taxi cabs. An actress who held a full time administrative job, she took auditions on her lunch hour. When I asked her why she took so many cabs she said she was always running behind because she was exhausted. “Why?” Because she didn’t get enough sleep. Long story short, she started taking her self care regime seriously, got to bed earlier and now that she was aware of her Time + Energy quotient, planned ahead and started walking to auditions. She slipped in some exercise and she saved money. What initially appeared to be an overspending issue was at its root a Time + Energy issue.

The equation that Time + Energy = Money is true but I look at it this way: Money allows us to do what we want with our Time + Energy.

This week, make an effort to track where you are spending your time and consciously analyze the decisions you make about your priorities. After all, if you aren’t running your life – who is?

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Helen Kim on August 3rd, 2010 in Finances | 1 comment

03 aug

8 Ways to Prosperity

1. Forgive yourself and others for any financial trespasses

If you are gripped by the past or still upset by financial indiscretions, you are not allowing yourself to move forward. A great deal of this is about boundaries. Have you consciously decided what kinds of financial behaviors you are wiling to accept from yourself and others? How far you are willing to go for someone and how far you are willing to let someone go for you, financially-speaking? The harder it is to create a boundary, the more important it is to create it.

2. Take Extreme Physical Care of yourself. If you’re not well cared for, your ability to prosper suffers. Are you getting enough exercise, sleep and healthy foods into your week?

How about making a conscious effort to eat foods that are not only yummy but best of all have what I consider to be, “medicinal effects”? (You can call me “Flax Seed Queen” now.. I finally admitted that as much as I want to, I just don’t have the time to get to the gym or yoga studio on a consistent basis and needed to come up with something that suits my lifestyle. Enter “Sneaky Fitness”, a great program for busy people created by Berrnadette Penotti. No matter where I am, I can always manage to sneak in 10-30 min of some simple aerobic and core strengthening exercises that elevate my heart and lenghthen my body.

Do you know the brain scientist, Jill Bolte Taylor – the one who wrote “A Stroke of Insight” and not only lived to share the process of her stroke and her recovery with us, but to tell us that “living in the right brain” or “Nirvana” as she puts it, is only moments away for all of us? She credits sleep as one of the most important reasons her body was able to recover from her stroke. I know that when I don’t feel my best, it impacts by moods and energy levels which impacts my ability to maintain the standard I need to sustain wealthy thoughts and actions.We’ve got to respect the wisdom of our body; it never lies.

3. Understand that Money has no power (only the power that you give it)

The source of your supply comes from within. You are your re-Source. Until this very basic principle is learned and accepted life will give you plenty of opportunities to master this. The greater your sense of consciousness the bigger the receptacle into which money will flow towards and from you.

4. Research your future
Put real numbers to everything you want in your life, even if the money hasn’t shown up yet. Get your “dream life” out of your thinking mind. Stir your pots. For example, if you dream about buying real estate find out just what your dream house costs. Consult with real estate agencies; find out what kind of mortgage you would get, how much down payment you need, what it would cost to run it….
The more specific and directed you are towards growing and maintaining your wealth, the faster you will receive it. By doing this, you show yourself that you are serious. Money loves clarity.

5. Keep a Spending Diary in order to understand your Triggers.
(I know, I know. You’ve heard me say this a lot – but have you tried it : )? A few days after you track everything you buy, go through the list of items bought and ask:

1. Does this have the same value today that I thought it would when I purchased it?
2. What mood was I in when I bought this?
3. Have I used this yet?

This exercise has helped a lot of my clients learn about some of their financial triggers and helps you learn to be proactive, not reactive.

6. Track your Time, Energy and Money
Many sabotaging behaviors that prevent us from prospering come from unawareness of how we spend our Time + Energy (see last newsletter article here). Try tracking all your activities from the moment you wake up to the moment your head hits the pillow. Then ask yourself these questions about every activity;

1. How much time did this take?
2. How much energy did it require of me and what was the quality of energy I received in the doing of it?
3. How much did it cost or did I make?
4. On a scale from 1-5, was it worth the Time, Energy and Money spent and/or made?

I have said time and time again (no pun intended) that fogginess of how we use our time and energy is a huge culprit re: thriving your wealthy self. I’ve noticed how successful entrepreneurs whom I admire respect Time; they show up on time, they deliver on time, they stick to the agreed to amount of time. This is so huge I’ve invited Organizing Guru Julie Morgenstern to join me on “Conscious Wealth” (www.HayHouseRadio.com) as we talk about decluttering our lives in order to have enough time to create wealth (and remember it’s a call in show, so we would love to answer your questions!). Money allows us to do what we want with our time and energy.

7. Understand that everything, every situation, is temporary.
Whether you have more than or less than enough money to cover your needs and desires right now, your financial situation is temporary. Money, like your breath, needs to flow in AND out.

8. Keep in touch with your money.

Show up for your money. Stealing a line from Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire, “Help it help you”. Visit with it consistently. Financial Expert Galia Gaichon recommends we set aside 15 minutes/week – that’s all! I have incorporated that into my lifestyle now and find it ends up saving me time in addition to staying close to my financial pulse.

Posted by Helen Kim on August 3rd, 2010 in Finances | No comments

21 jul

Your Center of Good

A few months ago I voluntarily ensconced myself in a darkened theater with screenwriters, producers and actors. We were there to listen to Robert McKee give his 4-Day “Story” Seminar (www.mckeestory.com). I’m a fan of Bob McKee’s, author of “Story”, a book that many in Hollyweird (his pet name for Hollywood) consider the bible on the art of story telling and screenwriting. His genius is in his ability to analyze what motivates people to act the way they do. So you can understand why I was thrilled to be there delving deeper into the nature of human behavior.

Two days into the Seminar, McKee said something that struck me. “All people operate from their “center of good”". In other words, we operate in ways that make total sense to us because we are always able to justify our actions. Each of us believes we are doing the right thing and want to identify with the positive. However, we’ve all made financial decisions we later regretted. Tagged, unworn clothes that have never graced a body hang in thousands of closets, hastily bought knick- knacks that clutter our homes end up in storage boxes, books with uncracked spines, even real estate sold too soon and from a place of fear… all reminders of our acts of impatience, insecurities and unmet needs.

If hindsight is 20/20 then our past can teach us why we made certain decisions when we did. The best time to grocery shop is not when you’re famished. Unrequited hunger of any emotional kind clouds judgment as one searches unsuccessfully for them through material things; things that aren’t designed to meet unmet needs like money, food and even satisfying relationships. Unmet needs leave you craving for more.

Find a quiet time to revisit a recent purchase made. Rewind and slow everything down as you travel back to a moment when you made a financial decision you later regretted.

*What mood or state of mind were you in?
*How did you justify your purchase at the time?
*What had you hoped it would do? Solve a problem, soothe your soul or bring you closer to someone, perhaps?
*Try and pinpoint at what point in your decision making you moved away from your inner wisdom. Were you by yourself or were you in a group, participating in a wave of collective thoughts?
*What’s the lesson learned? Next time you find yourself in a similar position, what can you do to stay in touch with your core?

The reason you do this now, when you are relaxed and in an “uncharged” state is so the next time (life will always bring another situation to teach you the same lesson until you are ready to learn it and move on) you find yourself in a more heated or pressured situation and sense your “center” shifting you will remember the inquiry process just described. That’s how we create change. Do this enough times and it eventually becomes less conscious. This is why I say that your relationship with money is a practice. Remember this expansive part of you so you can return to it when you need to slow down and create space between your impulses and action.

As well, it is crucial that you forgive your past financial trespasses. Let them go. Learn from them, but let them go. Beating yourself up if even in your mind is a violent act. Violence is born out fear, anger, frustration and insecurity… those emotions do not lead to peace or true prosperity.

Someone recently asked if the necessity to gage ourselves and the way we are with money ever goes away. I don’t think it does. As with any relationship, keeping it vibrant and healthy requires constant attention and nurturing. I love money as it serves as an alert body reflecting where our focus is.

When we open ourselves to our inner wisdom we empower ourselves by discovering innate resources that help us fulfill those parts of ourselves that are in need of attention. By dancing between our inner and outer worlds of being and money we maintain our balance.

Helen Kim is the Founder of YourMoneyRelationship.com, a company devoted to helping people gain clarity around their relationship with money so they can make conscious financial decisions. Her programs help you loosen the grip of emotions and beliefs that interfere with your ability to allow financial freedom into your life. With her mindful approach, Helen gives you the opportunity to create a positive, dynamic and nurturing relationship with money and therefore, yourself.

Posted by Helen Kim on July 21st, 2010 in Finances | No comments

24 may

Conditioned to Think You Can’t

JayForte A friend and I had a discussion this morning about what influences our perspectives. He reminded me of how a 5-ton elephant can be controlled with nothing more than a chain and a post.

When baby elephants are captured, they are restrained by a chain connected to a post, anchored to the ground. Because of their small size, they try to pull free but cannot. They then learn that when chained to the post, they cannot get away – and they remember this. So as they become an adult elephant, very capable of pulling free from the chain, they don’t think they can, so they don’t try. An early memory told them they can’t and now they never challenge it.

We are like elephants. We have early memories about something that influenced us and we bring that perception to today. It could have been a comment, a look or a response by someone that we knew or maybe didn’t know. It could have been an event that backfired like stumbling in front of others and we are now convinced we can never be on stage, in front of an audience, or lead a meeting. We are frequently chained to think we can’t – even though we can. Here is a personal example.

As a kid I had a terrible interdental lisp. When it was pointed out to me, I stopped speaking, tremendously worried that I would embarrass myself. As I started speech therapy I found I had an easy ability to learn a language and to articulate sounds – something I never would have known. I quickly learned a new way to pronounce an “s.” Today, I am a speaker. Imagine. If I had let the terrible events that introduce me to my speech impediment control me, I would have been like the elephant chained to a post, thinking I should be embarrassed about myself and stay out of the public. I would have never chosen my favorite work and my best fit – speaking to audiences about talents, passions and possibilities. I can imagine doing nothing else. I broke my chain. And I found a strength in the process.

Many of us remain captive to “I can’t” thinking, like the elephants chained to the post, because we don’t know ourselves well enough to know how capable and strong we really are. The more we connect to our unique talents, strengths and passions, the more we find our internal strength – the strength that helps us realize our futures are not dependent on our pasts. We are not limited by events that happened to us. True, they influence us, but we have attributes (call them gifts) that help build our courage and our confidence to break our chains and come through stronger, braver and better.

From my perspective, life events are placed as obstacles to help us stop, think about a better way, and get to know ourselves better. When we encounter an obstacle we can act like the elephant – to stand still and give in. Or, we can think our way through it and realize we are more capable than we imagined. And when you do this several times, you develop the courage to consistently do it and life becomes yours to invent.

To help you break your chains, consider the following:

- Think of one “I can’t” situations that currently limits you. Think back to the event that made you feel incapable, unworthy, unable, etc.

- Assess your talents and strengths. What attributes do you have that allow you to move past this limit – what attributes do you have that will help you break your chain?

- What is the first small step you can take to move past this limit – to see how capable you are and to develop your confidence?

- Try one, then another, then another. Then throw the chain away.

There are truly some situations where “I can’t” may be the right response. But we use “I can’t” significantly more frequently than we should because we are controlled or influenced by things said or done in our past. Today gets built today – there is no particular reason why it must be like yesterday unless you want it that way.

What is true for you today? What are your talents, passions and strengths, and how do they give you the confidence and courage to say “I can” instead of “I can’t.”

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book, The End of Average; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform Your World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on May 24th, 2010 in Career, Diet and Fitness, Family, Finances, Global/Social Change, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Teens | No comments Read related posts in control life, elephant, inspired, owner, passions, possibility, purpose, strengths, talents

15 may

What Are You Waiting For?

“I’ll start going to the gym next month.”

“I’ll stop drinking after I get back from vacation.”

“I’ll call my parents on the weekend.”

“I’ll eat better next week, after this project at work is over.”

“I should really spend more time with the kids.”

So many of us talk about great things we should do, or things we should stop doing, then find some reason to put it off. I had a friend who would wait until the first day of the next month to start something new or to end a bad habit, regardless of the current day. Why wait? If it is important enough to do, start today.

As I travel and speak about connecting to your talents and passions, I constantly hear stories of people who live lives of regret. As we talk about discovering or rediscovering their talents and passions, many people tell me they kept their passions hidden, waiting for the right time. They wished they had developed their love of music, art, travel, reading, quilting, parenting…whatever. They sadly remember how happy they were doing something that activated them, but never made more time for it. And now, they feel they have missed out.

My eldest daughter gets married this week. I have written several times in this blog about this because you always write about what you feel, and seeing your first child get married is an amazingly emotional event. But more important is the realization of how quickly time goes by. I have spent time this week looking at the pictures of her life – as she moved through each stage. And I remember thinking many times in her life that this moment will not return – I have to be here, right now, to be part of it. Don’t wait. Don’t miss it.

And though these childhood moments have passed, I remember being part of them. I’m glad I made time for them. Even when work and a divorce took me away, I remember changing things to be there, to be present, and to be part of her life. And as I walk her down the aisle, I will remember all of these times. I will look back loving each moment of being her father, and will have no regrets.

So start now with the important things in your life. Don’t wait. What are the things you must do – to stay healthy, stay connected, live better, live more authentically, say what you feel, love what you do…. What are the things you must stop doing – eating the wrong foods, drinking too much, smoking, not exercising, working too much, fighting with others… How will you take ownership and invent your best life?

Here are some suggestions:

Identify one thing you love to do, and do it today.
Identify one person who needs to hear from you, and call, text, e-mail, write or visit today.
Say something loving and supporting to a child, spouse, sibling or friend today.
Identify one bad or unhealthy habit you have and end it today.
Identify a good new habit and start it today.
Identify one thing you will do to help the planet (stop using bottled water, drive less, recycle everything you can recycle, don’t litter, walk more, etc.) today.
Identify a need your community has and volunteer for it today.
Surprise someone with a compliment, smile or hug today.
Create your life’s bucket list of things to do and places to see, today.
Identify one thing that will bring your family closer, and do it today.
Identify one thing you will do to get better and become more valuable in your job, and do it today.
Identify one thing you will do to stay in better control of your finances, and do it today.
Identify one thing you will do to become more connected to your spirituality and beliefs, and do it today.
Identify one thing that you have always wanted to do, and find out about it, or do it, today.

Your life is as you make it. Your choices and actions determine its level of success, energy, passion and happiness. When you take ownership, not only do you improve your life, but you also inspire others to do the same. When you take ownership, you will look back, proud of your choices, and have no regrets.

There always seems to be a logical reason to put off what you need to do – not enough money, time, resources, energy, support, or something. Yet time goes by, day after day; you don’t get this time back. And soon large blocks of time have passed without making important changes, or living your passions and dreams. Know what makes you happy, healthy and wise – and do more of it. If it is important enough to do, then it is important enough to do today. Don’t wait.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to work strong and live stronger. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book, The End of Average; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform Your World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on May 15th, 2010 in Career, Diet and Fitness, Family, Finances, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in be present, change, don't wait, lives great events, own your life, show up

16 apr

Reality Wore a Black Leather Jacket

After a delightful lunch at our favorite restaurant, my friend and I did our usual shopping—for me it was limited to window shopping—at the mall. On that day, since it was a little chilly, I thought of no better way to keep warm than to wear the leather jacket she had given me. She had explained to me that the jacket was too large for her and she felt it was too nice to just give away. I’ve always wanted a leather jacket and, not knowing when I would have the money to buy one for myself, I accepted. It was even too small for me, but that didn’t matter, I just didn’t button it.

Still, although it was a hand-me-down, it belonged to her and I felt no pride of ownership. After all, I did not spend my money to buy it, which is probably why I felt so ashamed when my friend and I ran into an acquaintance of hers. The lady complimented me on the jacket, I could feel my friend’s eyes on me as she waited for me to do what I know I should have. I could not force myself to tell her that my friend had given it to me, that it was a hand-me-down. It was in that moment that I didn’t know which was worse: wearing a hand-me-down, something that she no longer wanted, or telling a lie by omission.

THIS THING ABOUT HAND-ME-DOWNS

Maybe it was how I felt at the time, vulnerable and a little needy. Money was not flowing abundantly into my life so I felt left out, secluded from the way I would like to have been living. This was not a way that I enjoy or would want anyone to know about, but there I was, graciously accepting a hand-me down that I was offered. It meant I did not have the money to go out and buy the item, and I said yes, when I really wanted to say no. It makes me feel poor to accept hand-me-downs even from the best of friends and family.

I, on one hand, realize that what they’ve done is a nice gesture. On the other hand, it reminds me of my precarious financial situation. I am financially unable to buy the new clothes that I want, that actually fit me and reflect the style that I like, and they know it. It’s another reminder that I am not in the place that I want to be in financially, not yet anyway. I know what it is and I see it off in the distance, but I’m not there.

If I accept the hand-me-downs, no matter how good they are or how expensive they were when they were new, I am still settling for less. This is because I know that I have, in that moment, lost my independence. They are acting in good faith, wanting to do something for me, and there may even be a tinge of pity involved.

A STARK VIEW OF REALITY

Could I have felt oversensitive when it was nothing more than the fact that she couldn’t wear it? After all my friend had no ulterior motive, only a desire for me to have her jacket. Could it be that my feeling bad or ashamed was not a rational reaction?

I realize that for a very long time I’ve been worried about finding a way to make the amount of money it will take to keep me from having to worry about not having enough. Because of this worry that is always at the forefront in my mind, negative thoughts are abundant. I’ve stopped believing in the positive. In the moment when my friend and I ran into her acquaintance, I had forgotten that I do have the power to make new choices, to change my thoughts which will then change my life.

I felt powerless at that moment, and so I was sensitive to the fact that someone else, a stranger, may see that I am a phony—that I don’t have money that I act like I have, that I do at times need to accept a hand-me-down, that a friend will buy my lunch and that I am not as perfect as I would like everyone to believe.

But, I realized most of that it is perfectly OK. Because I do have the power to change my life, and there will be a time that I will be there to help my friend, to do special things for her.

EXERCISES

Can you think of instances in which negative thoughts were controlling you and your life?
What thoughts are you thinking now? Are they making you feel bad in some way?
Are you willing to choose better and more productive thoughts?
Change your thoughts and change your life.

Posted by JoAnna Boccard on April 16th, 2010 in Finances, Personal Stories, Relationships, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in feeling personal power

29 jan

It’s Not the Circumstances, It’s Us

mike_robbins I recently read a great quote from Ben Franklin that I hadn’t seen before. He said, “Joy doesn’t exist in the world, it exists in us.” While the quote was new to me, the concept wasn’t. However, as I began to think it more, I realized that even though I “understand” this wisdom and do my best to live by it and remind others of it, more often than I’d like to admit, I find myself living as though I’m simply a victim of the “things” that go on around me and in the world – especially the stuff I don’t particularly like, agree with, understand, feel like I’m on top of, or enjoy.

The circumstances of our lives, especially when they seem stressful or intense (as is the case for many people I know and work with these days) do have an impact on us, for sure. However, all too often we give away our power to these circumstances and situations. We act as though it’s a foregone conclusion that we will feel a certain way based on specific circumstances (i.e. the economy, the weather, our health, our level of activity, the state of our romantic relationship or lack thereof, the behavior of our children, our families, the state of our career or business, our environment at work, and more).

Our experience of life (grateful, worried, peaceful, angry, excited, sad, alive, depressed, joyous, or anything else) is much more of a reflection of us and what’s going on within us, not a reaction to what’s going on around us. We’ve all had many examples of times in our lives when things were going “great” on the surface or we accomplished or experienced some “wonderful” external success, only to feel a sense of disappointment or sadness underneath because whatever it was didn’t satisfy us at a deep level. And, on the flip side, most of us have had moments of incredible joy, excitement, and bliss that weren’t directly connected to anything “worthy” of these feelings externally.

Even though we know this dynamic to be true, we still seem to get caught in the hypnotic, erroneous notion that if we just got rid of some issues, altered some circumstances, manifested some increased success, or changed some specific situations in our lives – then, we’d be happy, peaceful, and relaxed (or whatever it is we say we want to experience).

Author and teacher, Byron Katie, says, “The definition of insanity is thinking that you need something you don’t have. The mere fact that you exist right now without that which you think you need is proof that you don’t need it.”

What if we lived our lives with a deeper and more conscious awareness of the fact that we get to create our experience of life at any moment? Imagine what our lives, our careers, and our relationships would look like if we stopped blaming our experience on other people or on external circumstances. We would free up so much positive energy and take back so much of our personal power.

Here are a few things you can do to enhance your capacity to own your experience of life in an empowering way:

1) Admit where you play victim and give away your power. As is always the case, “the truth will set you free.” Take a look into your life, especially in the areas where you find the most pain, suffering, and struggle right now. Without judging yourself, can you find places where you’re acting like a victim of your current circumstances (as though it is simply “happening to you”)? The more honest and specific you can be about this, the more freedom it will provide for you.

2) Acknowledge, own, and express your underlying emotions. Whenever we go into victimhood there is something we don’t want to deal with, take responsibility for, experience, or express emotionally. Even thought it can be a little painful and scary initially, by dealing directly with the emotions we’re avoiding, we go to the source of the issue and address it at the root. Ironically, once we’re able to acknowledge, own, and express the emotion(s) involved, much of the suffering and struggling go away – if we’re willing to really take responsibility for and express what we’re truly feeling.

3) Make a commitment to fully own your experience. Declare to yourself and those close to you that you’re willing to take 100% responsibility for your experience of life. This doesn’t mean that “stuff” won’t happen, but it does mean that you make a commitment to live your life by design, not default. It’s also likely that you’ll forget, slip up, and fall back into victimhood from time to time (or often). However, making a commitment to yourself and to others – and also asking them to hold you accountable with honesty and kindness – can create an environment (within you and around you) conducive for you to enhance your capacity to live your life with power and responsibility.

Give yourself some space and have a lot of compassion with yourself and others on this; most of us have been trained, educated, and encouraged to live in “victim consciousness” – even though it doesn’t work or give us what we want ultimately. When we’re willing to tell the truth, express our real emotions, and make a commitment to live as designers of our experience – we can literally transform our lives in miraculous ways.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

Posted by Mike Robbins on January 29th, 2010 in Career, Finances, New Directions, Relationships | 1 comment Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, ben franklin, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, motivational speaker, power, self help, victim

27 dec

Mental Shift

“The major adjustments we need to make are mental.” Price Prichard from “The Fourth Level of Change.”

To be great at work and in life requires a mental shift – a change in attitude that accepts the world on its terms, welcomes change and focuses on possibilities.

When we slept last night, the world changed. Technology has advanced our methods of communication. Science has changed our understanding of our beginnings, our development, our health and our world. We can watch all this happen around us and quickly be left behind. Or, we can realize that change and growth are what propels us to work strong and live stronger. We can realize that by embracing the new constant known as change, we can expand our understanding of ourselves and live and work in the most significant way possible.

Many of us are frozen by change because most people feel change will lead to loss instead of gain. We are convinced if change happens we will not be happy, safe, rich, or some other adjective, so we hold steadfastly to what we know. We freeze. We idle. We hide.

This creates the need for a mental shift. It is our choice to welcome change or fight it. We choose to advance, allow and augment, or whine, wince and worry. We control our perspective – we control our mental outlook. Indeed, we are constantly influenced by the information we receive and process all day, but it is our mental attitude (our outlook and approach) that determines how we process this information. If our outlook is pessimistic, resistant and reluctant, we will find things in our world that support this outlook – we become cynical, distrustful and suspicious. If however, our mental shift brings us to an outlook that is optimistic, upbeat and positive, we become more open, aware and responsive. We set the tone and the world will respond.

Here are my four steps for a mental shift to optimism and improvement

Start today. True, a new year is upon us and people seem more committed to making improvements at the start of the year. Great. But as you build a year-round mental shift plan, commit to starting what you choose to do as you choose to do it. Don’t postpone. I had a friend who would only make changes on the first day of a month – even if he identified something needing changing on the second day of the month. Crazy. If it is important enough to do, do it now.
Just a bit. Most people bite off more than they can chew. They try to make improvements that are too significant all at once. We are segmented learning creatures – we best handle things in “chunks.” So instead of trying to end a habit of poor eating, start one small new habit, such as eliminating dessert during the week, or eating 2 additional pieces of fruit a day. Just a bit. Small gains. And soon the accumulating small gains lead to significant change.
Call them “improvements.” Stay away from the language of “ending bad habits.” Instead, focus on “doing things that improve.” Mentally, we are more supportive of events that are seen as positive; we are more likely to succeed when we focus on improving. And along with #2 above, make “just a bit” improvements to be more successful. I grew up in an Italian Catholic family. In the period prior to Easter (Lent), most people I knew gave things up as their Lenten resolutions. In our family, we focused instead on adding (new habits) instead of giving up – we added things of value; we used Lent as a period to “improve.” This lesson remains a good one.
Celebrate your success. When success happens, applaud your effort, your achievement and your commitment. Start to change the internal voice from the critiquing old “grandmother”(the internal voice most of us have), to a supportive “friend” (the voice that allows us to improve, adjust and feel successful). Be kind to yourself. You are one brain and one heart in the middle of a large, often cruel and complex, world. Sometimes you will get it right; sometimes you will won’t. So, when you get it right, dance, sing, clap or do whatever helps you celebrate. Then move on to the next “little bit.” And when you don’t get it right, forgive yourself and start again.

I know today’s world moves much faster than I would like – sometimes it seems to give me more than I think I can handle. Despite this, I also know my attitude is the key to understanding myself, my world and to living and working in the most significant way possible. It is up to me to make this mental shift – to be positive, optimistic and to see possibilities – no matter what the world brings my way. And in the process, help to inspires others to do the same.

Shift happens – but only when we make it happen. What mental shift do you need to make to ensure you work strong and live stronger?

Wishing you a new year of mental shifts, small improvements and greater happiness.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to work strong and live stronger. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on December 27th, 2009 in Career, Diet and Fitness, Finances, Health, New Directions, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in act now, change your attitude, happiness, improvement, make small changes, mental shift, own your life

15 dec

Lessons Learned from the Recession: Getting Better, Getting Stronger

JayForte Today’s tough economic times have forced us to look with greater attention at what we do, the decisions we make, and how we use our resources. Surviving the recession is not just about cutting back – it is about changing how we think about every aspect of our lives to redefine what is truly meaningful, valuable and important.

Everything changes. Life has no guarantees – we get what we get. But we have the capacity to handle what comes our way – including dealing with change. The real issue isn’t the change itself – it is how we use, respond and even welcome change. To be successful in a changing world we must relearn much of what we took for granted; we must become better at inventing, responding, communicating, sharing and staying focused on what is important. There are many lessons learned from this recession – and when learned, we get better and stronger.

In a period of great downs it is easy to focus on the things we are missing, doing without, and are upset about. Or, we can realize that from every tough time, opportunities are generated. It takes a lot of effort to stay optimistic but that is the key to getting better and getting stronger; we must refocus our attitude to hunt for and find the good in every situation instead of fixating on what is lacking or changed.

Committed to remain positive in tough times, I started a list of things that are actually better as we all have dealt with a tough economy, lost jobs and limited cash. And as I started my list, I noticed that with a change of mindset, there was no shortage of great things – even better things – than I had initially thought.

So, I share my list of how life is better in spite of our recession. And if you have found that some things have improved because we had to look deeper into ourselves and become more creative, more connected and more determined, please share them. I’ll keep the list going and hope that others see how to hunt for the good instead of the bad.

As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” It really is all about attitude. So if you think life is miserable. It will be. If you think there are reasons to celebrate you’ll find them. I vote for celebrating.

My List – Getting Better, Getting Stronger

• We realize we can’t spend what we don’t have; credit and credit cards are not the same as cash.

• We now spend more time at home, we eat as a family, we are learning to spend time again with each other and talk to each other more.

• Dinner out is now more a treat than a routine.

• Dessert out is as much fun and more affordable than dinner out.

• We do more family events using what we have; we look at photos, remember events and reconnect to our kids, parents, cousins and grandparents, and what to what they remember, share and think.

• Track shoes and a two-mile jog around the neighborhood burns as many calories as a tread mill, stair climber or elliptical stepper at a gym.

• We use our now more limited weekly food money on real food and have eliminated many of the snacks that are not good for us; we are starting to eat healthier.

• We reconnected to our neighbors and learned to share our extra when they did not have enough; we are building our social networks face-to-face.

• We hang up our clothes instead of leaving them on the floor or on the chair; we do less laundry, and we make things last.

• We watch the movies, wear the clothes and play the games we forgot we had; we treasure what we have.

• We waste less food, create less garbage and leave less of a footprint on the planet; we are more aware that supplies of things are limited – and once gone, they may be gone for good.

• We are less fixated on whether we have the newest, shiniest, best or most expensive, in favor having the right things that keep people healthy and safe.

• We drive our cars less, consume less gas and learn about the great things in our neighborhood; in the process we make our cars last a little longer.

• We slow down on the road knowing that it conserves fuel and offers a view of some great things we generally didn’t notice in our rush to get places.

• We spend more time with each other; we rekindle friendships that evaporated when life became too busy to stay in touch.

• We recycle more, go to garage sales, flea markets and thrift stores. Bohemian and trendy salvage styles are making a comeback.

• We buy local produce that saves on fuel and gives us healthier things to eat.

• We have learned to extend any meal by adding cans of things we had in the pantry; we invent new family recipes; we use what we have.

• We borrow books and movies from the library instead of buying new ones.

• We spend more time with crayons, glue, paper and a box to make great things and have a great time.

• We are beginning to realize that a gift is truly based on the thought instead of the cash value – and that a flower picked or a handmade card delivered at the right moment creates the right memory.

• We learn how to talk to each other again.

• We get by without 700 cable channels of chatter and stuff.

• We now turn lights off when we are not in a room, reduce the amount of heat or air conditioning and are still fine.

• We live by the rule that for every bag that comes into the house, two must go – one to trash/recycle, one to the needy.

• We buy day-old, discount and reduced-cost foods that help us save money and improve our creativity in the kitchen.

• We now treat things with more respect – a person, book, toy, car or other important thing.

• We take a bike to work. We get our workout, get to work and leave less of a impact on the planet.

• We rent out or share an extra room with someone who can’t afford their house.

• We give all of the clothes that don’t fit or we can’t use to organizations that ensure it gets distributed to those who use them.

• We use coupons and look for the best deals before we buy; we understand what we buy instead of thinking that we’ll throw it out and get another one.

• An afternoon out is now a walk around the neighborhood, time at a park or appreciating nature, architecture, a view or the weather; there doesn’t have to be a purchase to make the afternoon valuable.

Remember how we all came together to deal with the horror of 9/11? We united, became closer and more committed to helping each other out. A tough economy is another wake up call – to remind us of how we must respect each other, our planet and our resources. Societies are built on their unity. When things are tough, it is important to work together to solve, to respond and to help out. How has the recession helped you redefine what and who is important?

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition and Stand Out and Get Hired. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to work strong and live stronger. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on December 15th, 2009 in Diet and Fitness, Family, Finances, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in appreciate change, get better get stronger, job loss, list of improvements because of the recession, lost jobs, optimism, recession, see the good, surviving in tough times, tough economy, use change, welcome change

08 dec

The Best Gift of All

mike_robbins During one of her shows a few years back, Oprah Winfrey made a profound and beautiful statement that I appreciated very much. She said, “We do shows about lots of ‘stuff’ and my ‘favorite things,’ but what people want more than anything else is to know that they’re appreciated…that’s the best gift of all.”

At this time of year it’s easy for us to get caught up in the stress of getting everything on our “list” crossed off, preparing for parties and events, and rushing around to buy gifts. And, with money tight for many of us this year, there’s added stress as we think about what gifts to get for our family members, friends, co-workers, and others.

Instead of just giving “stuff” for the holidays this year, what if we gave the people in our life the most meaningful gift of all; our appreciation? Let the people around you know what you appreciate about them and why.

What do you value most about your best friend? What is it about your kids that you really appreciate? What do you love best about your spouse? How does your co-worker or your boss make your job easier and more fun?

Expressing our heartfelt and genuine appreciation for the important people in our life is magical and it’s essential to our ability to create happiness, fulfillment, loving relationships, healthy families, successful teams, and productive communities. Appreciation is also an important element of effectively dealing with the stress of challenges and uncertainty that so many of us are facing these days.

This year, our holiday gifts can be expressions of true appreciation which will have real impact on our relationships and make our holiday season one to remember. And, with things the way they are financially for many people these days, taking time to appreciate others and life is so important this year.

Here are three simple suggestions to make your holiday gifts and your holiday season special and meaningful:

1) In addition to (or instead of) giving gifts, take time to write heartfelt thank you cards. Write cards of gratitude – letting the people around you know what you appreciate about them and how they have impacted your life in a positive way. Express your appreciation genuinely, specifically, and personally – in a heartfelt way.

2) Ask people what they really want. Giving something specific that someone really wants will have them feel appreciated and valued. It doesn’t have to be expensive, as long as it’s personal to them. And, if you ask them directly you may find out that what they really want is something simple that can’t be bought or doesn’t cost money.

3) Give the gift of your time or service. Make a list of a few important people in your life and instead of buying them something, call and ask each them if there is some project they’ve been putting off or procrastinating that you might be able to help them with. Schedule time to come over to their house or support them specifically in getting that task or project accomplished.

Remember what most people want, more than almost anything else, is to know that they are loved, valued, and appreciated. Appreciation truly is the best gift we can give to the people in our lives (for the holidays and at any time of the year).

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

Posted by Mike Robbins on December 8th, 2009 in Family, Finances, Global/Social Change, Relationships | 1 comment Read related posts in anxiety, appreciation, authenticity, gratitude, holidays, honesty, Mike Robbins, money, motivational speaker, Oprah, presents, self help, stress

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