All ‘Family’ Posts

14 oct

The Five Rules for a Really Great Life

JayForte You know how some people seem to live the most extraordinary lives? They love what they do for work. They are in happy relationships. Each day is valued and treasured.

What do these people know that helps them live this way?

They know themselves – they know their talents, strengths and passions – and build their lives around these attributes. They know the Five Rules For A Really Great Life.

Before I share the Five Rules, let me tell you why these rules are so important. Life is ours to invent – it is the greatest gift we receive. We are born with a blank canvas and all the supplies to create our masterpiece. These supplies show as our hardwired gifts – our talents, strengths and passions. They are unique to each of us. They allow us to be good at some things and not others; we love some things and not others. And when we discover these attributes and build them into our lives, we create customized, high-impact, happy lives. We find our fit – we play to our greatest abilities. We are happier. We are more productive. We have greater impact.

So if we had a set of rules that would help us achieve this, we would have greater success in inventing an extraordinary life – in creating our masterpiece.

Here are my Five Rules For A Really Great Life, summarized from my new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World:

1. Learn what you are good at and play to your strengths. What comes easily and naturally to you? What makes you feel capable and competent? What do you seem to know a lot about? What are your strengths? When someone introduces you, how do they describe you? When you know what you are good at, build your work and life around it. This builds your confidence, plays to your natural abilities and helps you move from good to great. Choose work and things in life that allow you to do your best work.

2. Discover your passions and build them into your life. What could you do all day and never get bored or tired of? When you have time, what do you choose to do? What gets you fired up!, excited and energized? Include as much of these passionate things in work and life. The more excited and enthusiastic you are, the more energy you bring to what you are doing. Studies show that those who are both good at what they do and passionate about doing it, commit the extra work and effort to move from good to great. Disciplined achievement is required to excel at things – and a deep passion for the activity increases the focus, energy and commitment to practice enough to become exceptional. As we all know, we do so much better at the things we love to do.

3. Define what makes you feel successful and use it to guide your decisions. What is your definition of success? What makes you happy? How do you trust what you feel and think instead of what others tell you? We each must learn to listen to our own internal “value voice.” A value voice is our definition of what is important and meaningful to us. Many times the people around us share their sense of what is important. But to live an exceptional and great life, we must realize that our definition of success must truly be ours – to identify the things that matter most to us. Defining happiness for yourself is one of the most difficult components of discovering and living in your greatness zone.

4. Know your world; stay current and connected to fact. What is going on in your world? Who needs or values your areas of greatness – what you do best and what you are passionate about? Where are the value areas for you? Your value in the world is in the context of the world. When you know the true you, you can find the places (in work and life) that need what you do best. You find your fit. This allows you to play to your greatness. You are most effective. You have the greatest impact. You are the happiest. Fit matters.

5. Define your greatness zone; then stand out, be authentic, and make your impact. Where is your best fit? Where is your greatness zone – that place that lets you be good at what you do, love doing it, meets your definition of success AND adds value to the world? Your greatness zone is that place where you get to be your best in your world. You play to your greatness. You are bold, authentic and confident. You choose wisely about what matters to you and you create your happiness each day. You customize your life for the things that matter to you. You own your life. You get to be you.

As I like to say, and it is my own personal belief, someone greater than you thought you should be you – so be you – and be it in a great way. Discover your Greatness Zone – then work and live in it. Life is not a dress rehearsal; we have today. Choose to make it extraordinary by playing to your greatness – by being in your Zone

And when each of us lives our greatness (that means we stop living in an average way), we bring this greatness to our world. We transform our world. And the world needs what we do best – it needs us to move from average to great. It needs us to invent it each day with our very best. This is how our world develops; this is how we help it develop.

So, you are a life inventor, and everything you need to have an extraordinary life you already have. It is up to you to learn about yourself – to discover your talents, passions and strengths – then build your life around them. This allows you to be authentic and align yourself to your core. This allows you to access your greatness. Life is so much better in the Zone…

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, life and workplace coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World was released this week. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.TheGreatnessZone.com and www.LiveFiredUp.com.

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Posted by Jay Forte on October 14th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment

12 sep

Today Is All We Have

JayForte A very close friend of a good friend of mine died this morning after a difficult battle with cancer. Everyone is really sad today. Sad because we miss this great person. Sad because whatever time we had with her was not enough. Sad because we won’t be able to make new memories together. But there is wisdom in this aspect of being human.

Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen says in her book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, “…the view from the edge of life is so much clearer.” When we are faced with illness and our mortality, we realign the pieces of our life and focus on what is most important – who we touch in life and who touches us. We become wiser. And this wisdom is shared at the time of illness – ideally so we all learn and live that way each day, not just in a period of change and challenge.

Though we know this, few live with a great appreciation for the moment, the day and the people in our lives. Few of us learn this lesson until something catastrophic affects our lives.

Today is all we have. We don’t know about tomorrow. We don’t know about next week. This is not fatalistic – it is realistic. To me, this realization encourages the need for us to own each moment of our lives – to be really present. This reminds me on a daily basis that life is not a series of days to use up. Rather, life is the gift of days to use to add value, connect with others and transform the world. And everyday that our feet get to land on the floor, we get one more opportunity to be part of our world, and to bring it our best.

I find myself constantly distracted in running my own business. Because there is so much to handle, at the end of the day, I frequently don’t remember much of the day. Though I know better, I still lose sight that each moment of each day is never to be wasted or taken for granted. To that end, I am always trying to build in better “be in the moment” habits. Here are some that I find work for me:

1. Set the alarm 10 minutes earlier each day. Use the 10 minutes to think about 5 things you are grateful for. Soon you’ll find you won’t hit the snooze – you’ll look forward to your “grateful time,” and ten minutes won’t be enough. Be present.

2. Touch some part of nature. Hold onto a tree; smell flowers, grass or leaves. It connects you to this moment and the relationship that you and the planet have. You’ll also develop a greater responsibility to respect it and treat it well when it is an emotional part of your day. Be present.

3. Give someone a hug. It sounds cliché but as anyone who is on the edge of life will tell you, they crave the human touch – the moment of people and spirits connecting. Physical contact brings you into someone else’s space at this moment – and the two of you are in the moment together. You are very aware of time, of being present and feeling important to another person. Be present.

4. Smile. Even if there weren’t studies about the health effects of a positive attitude and behavior, a friendly and encouraging signal to another person impacts their world at that moment. This connection builds community. This connection creates a moment of memory in the day. Think how many people have changed your outlook just by a kind gesture, act or word. Be present.

5. Stare into a night sky and just imagine. Connect to the greatness of a moment by appreciating the size of our space – that you get to be in it, and what it feels like at this one particular moment. And when you watch the sky, you’ll notice it never remains the same – it constantly changes. Each moment is different. You become aware of each moment. You are part of each moment. Be present.

So, today is all we have. Find ways to be part of it. Be part of the lives with whom you share space at each moment. Choose to be happy. Greet each day with an attitude of gratefulness and love. Live each day as if it were your last.

Life is as great or as small as you intent it to be. And it isn’t the things that make it great. It is your connection to the people, events and moments that make it great. May you always know what the people who are at the edge of life know – that each day is important; each day is a gift. Treasure it and make it great.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He teaches people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com and www.TheGreatnessZone.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on September 12th, 2010 in Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in be happy, cancer, LOVE, love life, powerful living, Relationships, surviving

29 aug

Have the Time of Your Life

JayForte I have great respect and affection for older people. Maybe I have an old spirit or just really admire the strength to survive on the planet for many years, but I find older people remarkable.

I was particularly fond of all four of my grandparents. And unlike so many of my friends, I had a great opportunity to spend a large part of my life with these amazing people. Their life lessons showed their generosity, limitless love and energy, and at the same time their criticalness and worry. After all, they were human too. But most of what I remember is their love of every day – that wherever you were, you were to be there, in that moment, and appreciating what was around you.

I was reminded of all this as we sat at lunch this week with friends of my in-laws. Both in this couple are older, nearly eighty, and one is significantly ill with scleroderma. But neither condition stops them from being fully present in their lives.

At lunch they shared stories of their recent road trip that took them over four thousand miles to see family, be part of a wedding, visit old friends, and spend time with their kids. Originally, they planned to make this a bus trip but opted instead to drive. Armed with a GPS and a preferred card at Choice Hotels, they spent nearly four weeks meandering through the lives and homes of their friends and family. With the health condition they had to take it slow and rely on the help of people at the hotels and on their families. Everyone stepped up. As they both said, “It was a trip of a lifetime.”

What impressed me most, besides the excitement still in the voices as they shared story after story about the trip, was their courage – the courage to go on this trip – the courage to get up and actively live each day. They appreciate life, its plusses and minuses as part of the way life is. They choose to live as much of life as they can. None of the significant challenges they bear showed up in their stories. No complaints; nothing owed to them. They wanted an amazing trip – they did it, they loved it and they will remember it forever. They had the time of their lives.

My first thought in all this was to applaud them for the courage to go for what they dreamed of. But it made me think – isn’t that really something we all should feel? Why is it we feel that life is any less sacred, important or valued when we are young than when we become old? Why is life any less spectacular when we are well than when we are sick?

We never know the amount of time we are given. That should remind us that life is truly a gift and that it is to be celebrated, applauded and fully lived each day. In the utterly spectacular book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, author Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen shares a powerful line said by a patient who was challenged with a terminal illness, “When you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance.” Isn’t this really the way we all should live? Since we never know what is coming next, shouldn’t we spend more time dancing?

As with many older people, their lives, attitudes and stories share the wisdom that everyday is more valued, more spectacular and more extraordinary because you get to have it. And why not take a road trip to share your life with those who matter most to you? As much as the road trip was a trip of a lifetime for our friends, it was also the visit of a lifetime for the people they saw. Funny how that works. When we are busy having the time of our lives, we are also helping to create the time of someone else’s life.

It seems that the smartest people on the planet are those who are in touch with their humanity and mortality. They don’t waste time on things that don’t matter. Dave Ramsey says it best, “[So many people] spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.” Wise people choose life events over life things. Maybe this is the wisdom in age that I so appreciate. Maybe this is the lesson for all who are younger. Don’t wait. Live the life you love. Make good choices. Have the time of your life.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He inspires people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com and www.TheGreatnessZone.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 29th, 2010 in Career, Family, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in getting older, Health, life choices, live life, love life, positive attitude, positive outlook, road trip

17 aug

Chart Your Own Course

JayForte I grew up in a very Italian family. And by “very” I mean the strong traditions that came directly from Italy guided many aspects of our daily lives. This included parents who felt it was their responsibility to tell you who you were supposed to be – how to live, what to believe and what work to do. At least that is how things started.

The good news is we were also raised to be independent. And independent people don’t like to be told how to live, what to believe and what to do. That independence was the key for my siblings and me to determine that our lives belonged to us and that the key to our happiness and success would be for us to make critical life decisions for ourselves.

Though we had loving and well-intentioned parents, their perspectives of who we were and how we should live were nothing more than their perspectives. We did listen to their suggestions but determined the loudest voice directing our lives should be our own. This process was not without conflict. Nothing good ever comes without challenge because challenge helps us develop our own voice, see others’ perspectives and take responsibility for our decisions.

I firmly believe that each of us is hardwired for greatness – we have a customized combination of talents, strengths and passions that allow us to be good at some things and not others. We love some things and not others. And no matter how close we may be to our families, they can never know how we think and feel as well as we know. We must always be the voice that decides what is right for us – in work and in life. We must always know the facts, then own the decision. We must chart our own course.

Though my five siblings and I are part of the same family, and all close in age, none of the six of us has the same hobbies, the same careers or the same attitudes about politics and church; we have always been very different. Though I greatly appreciate the effort and intent of parents who felt compelled to tell us what to do with our lives, we all clearly saw that both our happiness and success required each of us to make these decisions for ourselves.

No one can know me like I know me. No one can identify my passions and talents as I can. And I honestly feel it is intended to be like this. Our lives are our gift. Part of appreciating the gift is in the anticipation and excitement of unwrapping it. We unwrap our lives as we live them. We get acquainted with more and more of who we truly are by living each day – by spending time noticing how we think, what we love, how we feel and what impacts us.

The more self-aware we become, the more information we have about what matters to us. The more we know ourselves, the better road we can chart for ourselves. I don’t want your road – you don’t want my road. My road is customized for me; yours should be customized for you. No one can do this customization except for us. And if we choose not to do it, or never learn how, then we live our lives according to how others tell us we should live. And I personally believe we then live only a fraction of our lives and never realize the our greatest purpose and value to ourselves and to our world.

There are many well-intentioned friends, colleagues and families who are loaded with advice on how we should live, who we should love and where we should work. Go ahead and listen to what they say. Consider everything. Then, value your own perspective about what is right for you more than what other says.

To help you customize your road, answer the following:

1. What is fun for you, and how do you add it into your day?

2. Who matters to you and how do you include them in your life each day?

3. What is critical for you and how do you address it each day?

4. What inspires you and how do you have more of it each day?

5. What challenges you and how do you learn to grow from it each day?

You own your life – and all that goes with it. Chart the right course for you so that each day you wake, you love the life you lead and make your greatest impact on those around you and on your world.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He teaches people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 17th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in happiness, independence, life choices, live your life, own your life, ownership

12 aug

Big Changes in the Little House

MariaOrtner How to Talk to Your Child When Facing Tough Financial Times

By Dr. Maria Laura Ortner

We are currently in the midst of huge financial turmoil. Thousands of people all over the world are facing unemployment or otherwise seeing their sources of income decrease or disappear. This situation obviously becomes much harder to manage if you have a family and children, and most parents struggle when trying to find the best way to talk to their kids about all these issues. All too often we hear about friends or relatives losing their jobs because of the recession. The media is inundated with news of business closings, home foreclosures and budget crises. As we adults prepare ourselves to face tough times or to re-plan our future, children are often overlooked. In my practice as a psychologist I frequently hear that parents tell their children very little or nothing about their financial difficulties, or even about a job loss. I have heard parents telling their children they were on an “extended vacation,” because they could not tell them the truth. But this is a disservice to the children.

So let me share some pointers to follow if you, or someone you know, are facing tough financial times:

1- It is very important to be honest with your children and, above all, with yourself. Take a hard look at where you are and what immediate changes you need to make, while at the same time looking to see what new possibilities this situation may open for you and your family. Look at it with optimism. Who knows, maybe this could be the prod you needed to explore new opportunities?

2- If you don’t provide the right information, children make their own interpretations about what they perceive is going on in the family, and because they are naturally egocentric they frequently blame themselves if something is not quite right around them. They of course do this quite unconsciously.

3- Keep in mind that children are usually a lot more perceptive than what we give them credit for. It is almost as if they have a secret radar that detects emotions, moods and conflicts, so you should not avoid the subject – they know when something is afoot!

4- When talking to your children, try to be as simple and concrete as possible. Tell them what is changing in your life, what is not and what you don’t know yet. Be sure to reassure them of your love.

5- Find ways to reduce your own stress. Staying calm and focused yourself is the best way to help your children, and to reduce their concerns. You need to take care of yourself FIRST so you can take care of your children. Look into mediation, yoga, breathing techniques and especially Meridian Tapping to help control your stress.

6- You may say, “Why tell my children, why should I involve them? I want to protect them and they cannot do anything about it.” Let me tell you, they are involved even if you don’t want them to be. Structuring and providing the right information is critical for their mental well being.

7- Be consistent with your messages. Children need to know that their parents are both on the same page. While you may not be able to hide your disagreements on financial matters with your partner, your children should get consistent reminders from both of you that you love them and support them.

As you navigate through this storm it is important to remember that at the end of the day, when everything is said and done, the core issues that everybody values deeply are love, honesty and support. In your journey as a parent it is helpful to keep this in mind. Big Changes in the Little House is a children’s book that offers a platform from which to begin a conversation about a difficult issue. It was written to help parents open a meaningful dialogue on a tough subject and convey to their children that they will always be loved and protected, and that as long as a home is filled with love and support, life will go on.

It is also available in Spanish.

About The Author: Dr. Maria Laura Ortner obtained her degree in clinical psychology at the Universidad Católica in her native Argentina, and later obtained a Sixth Year Professional Diploma in School Psychology from Southern Connecticut State University, in New Haven, Connecticut, and a Doctorate in Child and Youth Studies from Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. She currently works in Danbury, Connecticut, as a school psychologist.

She has written, produced and directed two bilingual educational films aimed at helping Latino students and their families with acculturation and special-education issues. She has also spoken in the U. S. and abroad on a variety of educational and psychological subjects.

She and her husband have three adult children and live in Brookfield, Connecticut. This is her first book.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 12th, 2010 in Family, New Directions, Relationships | No comments

31 jul

You Get To Be You. How Great Is That?

“You can be anybody you want to be,

You can love whomever you will

You can travel any country where your heart leads

And know I will love you still

You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,

You can choose one special one

And the only measure of your words and your deeds

Will be the love you leave behind when you’re done.”

The chorus from “Everything Possible” by Fred Small

You can be anybody you want to be. This is not meant to be cliché or without the realism that life is difficult. But know that our greatest value in life is living authentically, connecting to others and bringing our personal best to the world. In other words, being who you really are – in the way you want to be. Life is about choices. Life is about inventing. So what do you want your life to be?

Studies continue to support that those who have gone from rags to (material) riches, or those who work constantly to achieve material possessions instead of life meaning, friendships and personal connections, are less content, satisfied and fulfilled in life. Stuff doesn’t make life. People make life. Events and connections make life. And the best way to be part of all this is to be fully present, authentic and living the life that you invent and choose.

Like most people, I spent much of my life living the way others thought was right for me. Not until I realized that the loudest voice I needed to listen to was my own. I had to develop the confidence and courage to understand and articulate who I was, what I wanted in life and what I was good at. And when I did, I started to make better decisions about me – for me.

It is up to me to determine who I am, who I love, how I want to live, what work I do, and where life should take me. Sure, input about life from others is important. But it is more important to use their input as a way to better understand your choices, but then make your own decisions. I no longer live based on traditions or threats. I constantly review my world, then choose what is right for me. I can be anybody I want to be.

Sometimes we make what we feel are the right choices, but they are not. That comes with being human. Sometimes the best life decisions come from the messes we first make. We learn as we go. We learn as we try things. We become more connected to who we are, what we believe and what we feel, as we encounter life. This helps us learn how to choose more wisely. This helps us invent our personal and customized lives – lives that are just right for each of us – not a “one-size-fits-all” life.Our voice must lead the customization.

So consider the following as you start each day to live your best life:

1. What am I good at and do I get to do it each day?
2. What do I love about life and do I add it to my life each day?
3. Who matters to me and do I have enough time with him/her each day?
4. Do I value what I think more than what others think?
5. Do I see life as a great adventure and that no matter what comes my way, I know I have what I need to make it extraordinary?

I believe life has the potential to be great. But you choose how great you want it to be.

I also believe that you get to be who you are. Actually, you must be who you are because someone or something greater than you thought you should be you. And if you discover all that you are (talents, passions and strengths) and use them each day, you will live your best life and bring your best to the world. You get to be you. How great is that?

By the way, listen to the song or read the entire set of lyrics of Everything Possible. You’ll be impressed.

Jay Forte is a motivational and business speaker, workplace and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World is due out in September 2010. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 31st, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in be yourself, best life, know yourself, life choices, true you

24 jul

How Will You Transform the World?

JayForte Wise words from Woodrow Wilson: “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”

Live your best life. And in the process, your best transforms the world.

I believe we invent our world in each moment; our world is created by those who live in it at this exact moment. And, the quality of our invention is based on each of us knowing ourselves to be able to contribute our best.

We are born with our unique DNA – our unique combination of talents, strengths and passions. The more we know ourselves, the more we become acquainted with our gifts – those attributes unique to us. Our happiest and most successful lives are lives that use what we are good at and passionate about doing.

This uniqueness is critical. Because we are all so different, we constantly add color, texture, experience and impact to our world. The more we know ourselves, the more we live this great uniqueness and the more of it we bring to the world. Our world expands. Our world improves. This is how we create our world. This is how we transform our world.

I see that most people live only a fraction of their capabilities – either by choice or by being unaware; they know so little about themselves and their hardwired greatness. They either don’t know how to discover what they are good at and what they are passionate about, or choose not to make the effort. The result is they do not access their greatness zone – that place of their greatest happiness – and therefore, do not bring their best to the world. You can’t bring your greatness to the world if you don’t know what it is.

Grace was an educator in a large international distributor. She spent the time to understand herself and pushed hard to land a job as an educator – a job that played to her talents and passions. She was enthusiastically connected to her students and intellectually connected to her role. Grace’s classes frequently had a waiting list. She flourished in your job, which amplified her life. She knew her talents, passions and strengths and brought her best to her work; she inspired greatness from others. She raised the bar. She wasn’t a national celebrity but was indeed a celebrity to many people she taught. She changed their worlds.

Identify several famous people who have committed themselves to their craft or area. Their talents allow them to be great at what they do. Their passion allows them to connect in an exponential way. The combination is a world changer. Think about Michelangelo, Robert Frost, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Emeril Lagasse, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln, Da Vinci, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Babe Ruth…the list goes on. They were good at what they did and passionate about doing it. And in the process they added great value to the world. They created a more significant world. They transformed the world.

Now,identify several non-celebrities around you who have committed themselves to their craft. It could be a partner, spouse, colleague, teacher, pastor, friend or anyone else. Those who play to their greatness expand the world for all of us.

People who play small don’t transform the world. People who don’t know their talents and passions, live a fraction of their potential and their gifted lives. Not only do they miss out, but they also shortchange the world; they don’t achieve their greatness and don’t share that greatness to recreate the world in an exceptional way – each day.

Answer the following to discover more about your hardwired greatness:

* What are you good at?

* What are you passionate about?

* What is success (happiness) for you?

These questions start your process to discover the combination of gifts you were born with. You start to see your passions, talents and strengths. Use these be your best, bring your best and live your best. Besides having an amazing personal and professional life, playing to your greatness will also transform the world.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World is due out in September 2010. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 24th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in gifts, greatness, happiness, life, passion, talent, transform the world

12 jul

Light Up the Dark

JayForte You can’t see light; you only see what light illuminates.

I remember being unable to read the menu at a local restaurant because of the low mood lighting. I also remember sitting on a plane, trying to use the ambient light to get some work done because the light over my seat did not work. I was in the dark – unable to see things that mattered.

So, as we add more light, things get clearer. At the restaurant, I went to the greeter’s station for more light to read the menu and selected an entrée I loved. In the plane, I changed seats with a passenger who wanted to sleep and did not care about the light, and I was able to do my work. I added some light so the important things around me were illuminated. It improved my choices and my impact.

What a perfect analogy for life. Many people live in the dark, unaware and unable to see who they really are. They spend little time shining the light inside themselves to see what talents, passions and strengths they have. They don’t really know themselves.

I believe that we are each hardwired for greatness – and this hardwiring is evident in our talents, strengths and passions. We love some things and not others. We are good at some things and not others. The more light we shine into ourselves (the more we get to know ourselves), the more information we discover about ourselves. The more information we have about ourselves, the better decisions we can make about our personal and professional lives. We can then invent lives of great value, happiness and impact. And it starts by lighting up “our” dark.

So, consider the following ways of internal illumination – so you can better see your greatest attributes and gifts, then build your most extraordinary life:

1. Notice your responses to things you like and don’t like. Notice the things that seem to make you feel capable and confident and the things that challenge you. Get good at watching your reactions and responses.

2. Have a conversation with people who know you well and ask what they feel you are good at and what you seem most passionate about. Others can shine light on how you think and how you respond.

3. Consider meditation as a means to quiet things around you to start to notice yourself, your gifts, your thoughts and your perspectives. You gather a lot of information in the quiet moments.

Get good at turning the light on to see what it illuminates. The more you know yourself, the more you can make decisions that play to your unique combination of talents, passions and strengths; these help you live a life you love. They also help you bring your best to a world that is invented each day by what do with your best. Besides, the more you play to your talents and passions, the happier you are and the more you light up life for others.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and business seminar leader. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book (due out in August 2010), The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform The World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 12th, 2010 in Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in darkness, invent life, know yourself, light, talents

09 jul

Taking in the Good

Taking in the Good Scientists believe that your brain has a built-in “negativity bias.” In other words, as we evolved over millions of years, dodging sticks and chasing carrots, it was a lot more important to notice, react to, and remember sticks than it was for carrots.

That’s because – in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived – if they missed out on a carrot, they usually had a shot at another one later on. But if they failed to avoid a stick – a predator, a natural hazard, or aggression from others of their species – WHAM, no more chances to pass on their genes.

The negativity bias shows up in lots of ways. For example, studies have found that:
• In a relationship, it typically takes five good interactions to make up for a single bad one.
• People will work much harder to avoid losing $100 than they will work to gain the same amount of money.
• Painful experiences are much more memorable than pleasurable ones.

In your own mind, what do you usually think about at the end of the day? The fifty things that went right, or the one that went wrong? Like the guy who cut you off in traffic, what you wish you had said differently to a co-worker, or the one thing on your To Do list that didn’t get done . . .

In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. Read more »

Posted by Dr. Rick Hanson on July 9th, 2010 in Family, General, Global/Social Change, Health, New Directions | No comments Read related posts in action strategies, aggression, Buddha’s Brain, carrots, co worker, implicit memory, injustice, kindness, natural hazard, negative direction, negative experiences, negativity bias, one people, painful experiences, personal qualities, Rick Hanson, sincerity, teflon, velcro

26 jun

Ten Things to Do with Your Prosperity

JayForte “Prosperity-induced padding,” a term used by author Gay Hendricks in his book, The Big Leap, refers those extra 10 or 20 pounds many of us carry around on our frames because we are part of a culture of plenty. There are few places on the planet that have access to the amount and choices of food and resources we have. And though a recession has challenged this for many, we still have more than most.

“Prosperity-induced padding”– how interesting. Prosperity is the thing we work hard to achieve. “Padding” is the thing we work hard not to achieve. What does this tell us about how we use our prosperity? What does this tell us about our choices?

Our success, our prosperity, can allow us to have great things. And we Americans have a preoccupation with food – fast food, gourmet food, ethnic food, natural food, processed food, frozen food, farm-fresh food, food stores, mega-food stores, warehouse food stores, food TV, food magazines, food, food, food. And though eating is requirement of survival, many have taken our prosperity to a new and unhealthy level. Food uses more of our resources than it should, and when it does, other things that could benefit from our prosperity are ignored or disregarded.

Prosperity brings us:

- Time – many have enough resources not to need to work.
- Talents – many have the ability to develop their personal greatness.
- Treasure – many have great financial resources.

So, how do you use these? Consider these other ways to use your prosperity to not suffer from “prosperity-induced padding” and perhaps bring something more significant to the world.

Use your prosperity to:

1. Reorganize and redesign your space to commit to recycling 100% of what can be recycled to tread more lightly on the planet.

2. Insulate your home, replace wasteful appliances, tint windows, update heating or cooling with more efficient products, to reduce your energy consumption.

3. Donate to and support a charity you find personally valuable and meaningful.

4. Buy healthy food for those who don’t have enough, or any – locally, nationally or internationally.

5. Sponsor a child’s education – locally, nationally or internationally.

6 Mentor a child, peer or someone older in what has helped you achieve your personal or professional prosperity.

7. Invent something new and valuable that advances the quality of life, the respect for the planet, improved health, or something else signficant for humanity.

8. Work towards finding a cure for an illness that affects your life or the lives of those you care about.

9. To educate about tolerance, acceptance and respect for differences.

10. To support art, music, literature and other things of beauty that add to the quality of life.

A sign of success in many industrialized countries is the amount of food we have and how much we consume. Notice the amount of food thrown away each day at our restaurants. Notice the aisles of product choices we have in our food store. Notice how easy for most of us to have enough of what we want to eat. And having access to so much doesn’t always make us better. Many times it makes us less healthy, less charitable and less concerned. “Prosperity-induced padding” is what I now call using my “extra” for me instead of for others. And I am committed to ending it – for health and for impact.

So consider returning some of your prosperity back to your world. A little less food can make us all healthier. A little more time, talent and treasures shared with the world, can help others improve their lives. Absolutely celebrate your success and prosperity. But then share this prosperity with others. Another way to say this is, be great, then share this greatness with the world.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book, The Greatness Zone; Your Place To Live and Work With Power, Passion and Purpose; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on June 26th, 2010 in Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Technology, Things We Love | 2 comments Read related posts in care, charity, generosity, Green, helping others, kindness, prosperity, recession, respect for planet

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