All ‘Career’ Posts

14 oct

The Five Rules for a Really Great Life

JayForte You know how some people seem to live the most extraordinary lives? They love what they do for work. They are in happy relationships. Each day is valued and treasured.

What do these people know that helps them live this way?

They know themselves – they know their talents, strengths and passions – and build their lives around these attributes. They know the Five Rules For A Really Great Life.

Before I share the Five Rules, let me tell you why these rules are so important. Life is ours to invent – it is the greatest gift we receive. We are born with a blank canvas and all the supplies to create our masterpiece. These supplies show as our hardwired gifts – our talents, strengths and passions. They are unique to each of us. They allow us to be good at some things and not others; we love some things and not others. And when we discover these attributes and build them into our lives, we create customized, high-impact, happy lives. We find our fit – we play to our greatest abilities. We are happier. We are more productive. We have greater impact.

So if we had a set of rules that would help us achieve this, we would have greater success in inventing an extraordinary life – in creating our masterpiece.

Here are my Five Rules For A Really Great Life, summarized from my new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World:

1. Learn what you are good at and play to your strengths. What comes easily and naturally to you? What makes you feel capable and competent? What do you seem to know a lot about? What are your strengths? When someone introduces you, how do they describe you? When you know what you are good at, build your work and life around it. This builds your confidence, plays to your natural abilities and helps you move from good to great. Choose work and things in life that allow you to do your best work.

2. Discover your passions and build them into your life. What could you do all day and never get bored or tired of? When you have time, what do you choose to do? What gets you fired up!, excited and energized? Include as much of these passionate things in work and life. The more excited and enthusiastic you are, the more energy you bring to what you are doing. Studies show that those who are both good at what they do and passionate about doing it, commit the extra work and effort to move from good to great. Disciplined achievement is required to excel at things – and a deep passion for the activity increases the focus, energy and commitment to practice enough to become exceptional. As we all know, we do so much better at the things we love to do.

3. Define what makes you feel successful and use it to guide your decisions. What is your definition of success? What makes you happy? How do you trust what you feel and think instead of what others tell you? We each must learn to listen to our own internal “value voice.” A value voice is our definition of what is important and meaningful to us. Many times the people around us share their sense of what is important. But to live an exceptional and great life, we must realize that our definition of success must truly be ours – to identify the things that matter most to us. Defining happiness for yourself is one of the most difficult components of discovering and living in your greatness zone.

4. Know your world; stay current and connected to fact. What is going on in your world? Who needs or values your areas of greatness – what you do best and what you are passionate about? Where are the value areas for you? Your value in the world is in the context of the world. When you know the true you, you can find the places (in work and life) that need what you do best. You find your fit. This allows you to play to your greatness. You are most effective. You have the greatest impact. You are the happiest. Fit matters.

5. Define your greatness zone; then stand out, be authentic, and make your impact. Where is your best fit? Where is your greatness zone – that place that lets you be good at what you do, love doing it, meets your definition of success AND adds value to the world? Your greatness zone is that place where you get to be your best in your world. You play to your greatness. You are bold, authentic and confident. You choose wisely about what matters to you and you create your happiness each day. You customize your life for the things that matter to you. You own your life. You get to be you.

As I like to say, and it is my own personal belief, someone greater than you thought you should be you – so be you – and be it in a great way. Discover your Greatness Zone – then work and live in it. Life is not a dress rehearsal; we have today. Choose to make it extraordinary by playing to your greatness – by being in your Zone

And when each of us lives our greatness (that means we stop living in an average way), we bring this greatness to our world. We transform our world. And the world needs what we do best – it needs us to move from average to great. It needs us to invent it each day with our very best. This is how our world develops; this is how we help it develop.

So, you are a life inventor, and everything you need to have an extraordinary life you already have. It is up to you to learn about yourself – to discover your talents, passions and strengths – then build your life around them. This allows you to be authentic and align yourself to your core. This allows you to access your greatness. Life is so much better in the Zone…

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, life and workplace coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World was released this week. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.TheGreatnessZone.com and www.LiveFiredUp.com.

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Posted by Jay Forte on October 14th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment

29 aug

Have the Time of Your Life

JayForte I have great respect and affection for older people. Maybe I have an old spirit or just really admire the strength to survive on the planet for many years, but I find older people remarkable.

I was particularly fond of all four of my grandparents. And unlike so many of my friends, I had a great opportunity to spend a large part of my life with these amazing people. Their life lessons showed their generosity, limitless love and energy, and at the same time their criticalness and worry. After all, they were human too. But most of what I remember is their love of every day – that wherever you were, you were to be there, in that moment, and appreciating what was around you.

I was reminded of all this as we sat at lunch this week with friends of my in-laws. Both in this couple are older, nearly eighty, and one is significantly ill with scleroderma. But neither condition stops them from being fully present in their lives.

At lunch they shared stories of their recent road trip that took them over four thousand miles to see family, be part of a wedding, visit old friends, and spend time with their kids. Originally, they planned to make this a bus trip but opted instead to drive. Armed with a GPS and a preferred card at Choice Hotels, they spent nearly four weeks meandering through the lives and homes of their friends and family. With the health condition they had to take it slow and rely on the help of people at the hotels and on their families. Everyone stepped up. As they both said, “It was a trip of a lifetime.”

What impressed me most, besides the excitement still in the voices as they shared story after story about the trip, was their courage – the courage to go on this trip – the courage to get up and actively live each day. They appreciate life, its plusses and minuses as part of the way life is. They choose to live as much of life as they can. None of the significant challenges they bear showed up in their stories. No complaints; nothing owed to them. They wanted an amazing trip – they did it, they loved it and they will remember it forever. They had the time of their lives.

My first thought in all this was to applaud them for the courage to go for what they dreamed of. But it made me think – isn’t that really something we all should feel? Why is it we feel that life is any less sacred, important or valued when we are young than when we become old? Why is life any less spectacular when we are well than when we are sick?

We never know the amount of time we are given. That should remind us that life is truly a gift and that it is to be celebrated, applauded and fully lived each day. In the utterly spectacular book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, author Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen shares a powerful line said by a patient who was challenged with a terminal illness, “When you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance.” Isn’t this really the way we all should live? Since we never know what is coming next, shouldn’t we spend more time dancing?

As with many older people, their lives, attitudes and stories share the wisdom that everyday is more valued, more spectacular and more extraordinary because you get to have it. And why not take a road trip to share your life with those who matter most to you? As much as the road trip was a trip of a lifetime for our friends, it was also the visit of a lifetime for the people they saw. Funny how that works. When we are busy having the time of our lives, we are also helping to create the time of someone else’s life.

It seems that the smartest people on the planet are those who are in touch with their humanity and mortality. They don’t waste time on things that don’t matter. Dave Ramsey says it best, “[So many people] spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.” Wise people choose life events over life things. Maybe this is the wisdom in age that I so appreciate. Maybe this is the lesson for all who are younger. Don’t wait. Live the life you love. Make good choices. Have the time of your life.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He inspires people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com and www.TheGreatnessZone.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 29th, 2010 in Career, Family, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in getting older, Health, life choices, live life, love life, positive attitude, positive outlook, road trip

17 aug

Chart Your Own Course

JayForte I grew up in a very Italian family. And by “very” I mean the strong traditions that came directly from Italy guided many aspects of our daily lives. This included parents who felt it was their responsibility to tell you who you were supposed to be – how to live, what to believe and what work to do. At least that is how things started.

The good news is we were also raised to be independent. And independent people don’t like to be told how to live, what to believe and what to do. That independence was the key for my siblings and me to determine that our lives belonged to us and that the key to our happiness and success would be for us to make critical life decisions for ourselves.

Though we had loving and well-intentioned parents, their perspectives of who we were and how we should live were nothing more than their perspectives. We did listen to their suggestions but determined the loudest voice directing our lives should be our own. This process was not without conflict. Nothing good ever comes without challenge because challenge helps us develop our own voice, see others’ perspectives and take responsibility for our decisions.

I firmly believe that each of us is hardwired for greatness – we have a customized combination of talents, strengths and passions that allow us to be good at some things and not others. We love some things and not others. And no matter how close we may be to our families, they can never know how we think and feel as well as we know. We must always be the voice that decides what is right for us – in work and in life. We must always know the facts, then own the decision. We must chart our own course.

Though my five siblings and I are part of the same family, and all close in age, none of the six of us has the same hobbies, the same careers or the same attitudes about politics and church; we have always been very different. Though I greatly appreciate the effort and intent of parents who felt compelled to tell us what to do with our lives, we all clearly saw that both our happiness and success required each of us to make these decisions for ourselves.

No one can know me like I know me. No one can identify my passions and talents as I can. And I honestly feel it is intended to be like this. Our lives are our gift. Part of appreciating the gift is in the anticipation and excitement of unwrapping it. We unwrap our lives as we live them. We get acquainted with more and more of who we truly are by living each day – by spending time noticing how we think, what we love, how we feel and what impacts us.

The more self-aware we become, the more information we have about what matters to us. The more we know ourselves, the better road we can chart for ourselves. I don’t want your road – you don’t want my road. My road is customized for me; yours should be customized for you. No one can do this customization except for us. And if we choose not to do it, or never learn how, then we live our lives according to how others tell us we should live. And I personally believe we then live only a fraction of our lives and never realize the our greatest purpose and value to ourselves and to our world.

There are many well-intentioned friends, colleagues and families who are loaded with advice on how we should live, who we should love and where we should work. Go ahead and listen to what they say. Consider everything. Then, value your own perspective about what is right for you more than what other says.

To help you customize your road, answer the following:

1. What is fun for you, and how do you add it into your day?

2. Who matters to you and how do you include them in your life each day?

3. What is critical for you and how do you address it each day?

4. What inspires you and how do you have more of it each day?

5. What challenges you and how do you learn to grow from it each day?

You own your life – and all that goes with it. Chart the right course for you so that each day you wake, you love the life you lead and make your greatest impact on those around you and on your world.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, performance consultant and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. His new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform Your World, will be available in October 2010. He teaches people to connect to their talents and passions to be fired up! in life and at work. More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on August 17th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in happiness, independence, life choices, live your life, own your life, ownership

31 jul

You Get To Be You. How Great Is That?

“You can be anybody you want to be,

You can love whomever you will

You can travel any country where your heart leads

And know I will love you still

You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,

You can choose one special one

And the only measure of your words and your deeds

Will be the love you leave behind when you’re done.”

The chorus from “Everything Possible” by Fred Small

You can be anybody you want to be. This is not meant to be cliché or without the realism that life is difficult. But know that our greatest value in life is living authentically, connecting to others and bringing our personal best to the world. In other words, being who you really are – in the way you want to be. Life is about choices. Life is about inventing. So what do you want your life to be?

Studies continue to support that those who have gone from rags to (material) riches, or those who work constantly to achieve material possessions instead of life meaning, friendships and personal connections, are less content, satisfied and fulfilled in life. Stuff doesn’t make life. People make life. Events and connections make life. And the best way to be part of all this is to be fully present, authentic and living the life that you invent and choose.

Like most people, I spent much of my life living the way others thought was right for me. Not until I realized that the loudest voice I needed to listen to was my own. I had to develop the confidence and courage to understand and articulate who I was, what I wanted in life and what I was good at. And when I did, I started to make better decisions about me – for me.

It is up to me to determine who I am, who I love, how I want to live, what work I do, and where life should take me. Sure, input about life from others is important. But it is more important to use their input as a way to better understand your choices, but then make your own decisions. I no longer live based on traditions or threats. I constantly review my world, then choose what is right for me. I can be anybody I want to be.

Sometimes we make what we feel are the right choices, but they are not. That comes with being human. Sometimes the best life decisions come from the messes we first make. We learn as we go. We learn as we try things. We become more connected to who we are, what we believe and what we feel, as we encounter life. This helps us learn how to choose more wisely. This helps us invent our personal and customized lives – lives that are just right for each of us – not a “one-size-fits-all” life.Our voice must lead the customization.

So consider the following as you start each day to live your best life:

1. What am I good at and do I get to do it each day?
2. What do I love about life and do I add it to my life each day?
3. Who matters to me and do I have enough time with him/her each day?
4. Do I value what I think more than what others think?
5. Do I see life as a great adventure and that no matter what comes my way, I know I have what I need to make it extraordinary?

I believe life has the potential to be great. But you choose how great you want it to be.

I also believe that you get to be who you are. Actually, you must be who you are because someone or something greater than you thought you should be you. And if you discover all that you are (talents, passions and strengths) and use them each day, you will live your best life and bring your best to the world. You get to be you. How great is that?

By the way, listen to the song or read the entire set of lyrics of Everything Possible. You’ll be impressed.

Jay Forte is a motivational and business speaker, workplace and life coach. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World is due out in September 2010. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 31st, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in be yourself, best life, know yourself, life choices, true you

24 jul

How Will You Transform the World?

JayForte Wise words from Woodrow Wilson: “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”

Live your best life. And in the process, your best transforms the world.

I believe we invent our world in each moment; our world is created by those who live in it at this exact moment. And, the quality of our invention is based on each of us knowing ourselves to be able to contribute our best.

We are born with our unique DNA – our unique combination of talents, strengths and passions. The more we know ourselves, the more we become acquainted with our gifts – those attributes unique to us. Our happiest and most successful lives are lives that use what we are good at and passionate about doing.

This uniqueness is critical. Because we are all so different, we constantly add color, texture, experience and impact to our world. The more we know ourselves, the more we live this great uniqueness and the more of it we bring to the world. Our world expands. Our world improves. This is how we create our world. This is how we transform our world.

I see that most people live only a fraction of their capabilities – either by choice or by being unaware; they know so little about themselves and their hardwired greatness. They either don’t know how to discover what they are good at and what they are passionate about, or choose not to make the effort. The result is they do not access their greatness zone – that place of their greatest happiness – and therefore, do not bring their best to the world. You can’t bring your greatness to the world if you don’t know what it is.

Grace was an educator in a large international distributor. She spent the time to understand herself and pushed hard to land a job as an educator – a job that played to her talents and passions. She was enthusiastically connected to her students and intellectually connected to her role. Grace’s classes frequently had a waiting list. She flourished in your job, which amplified her life. She knew her talents, passions and strengths and brought her best to her work; she inspired greatness from others. She raised the bar. She wasn’t a national celebrity but was indeed a celebrity to many people she taught. She changed their worlds.

Identify several famous people who have committed themselves to their craft or area. Their talents allow them to be great at what they do. Their passion allows them to connect in an exponential way. The combination is a world changer. Think about Michelangelo, Robert Frost, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Emeril Lagasse, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln, Da Vinci, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Babe Ruth…the list goes on. They were good at what they did and passionate about doing it. And in the process they added great value to the world. They created a more significant world. They transformed the world.

Now,identify several non-celebrities around you who have committed themselves to their craft. It could be a partner, spouse, colleague, teacher, pastor, friend or anyone else. Those who play to their greatness expand the world for all of us.

People who play small don’t transform the world. People who don’t know their talents and passions, live a fraction of their potential and their gifted lives. Not only do they miss out, but they also shortchange the world; they don’t achieve their greatness and don’t share that greatness to recreate the world in an exceptional way – each day.

Answer the following to discover more about your hardwired greatness:

* What are you good at?

* What are you passionate about?

* What is success (happiness) for you?

These questions start your process to discover the combination of gifts you were born with. You start to see your passions, talents and strengths. Use these be your best, bring your best and live your best. Besides having an amazing personal and professional life, playing to your greatness will also transform the world.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World is due out in September 2010. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 24th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in gifts, greatness, happiness, life, passion, talent, transform the world

14 jun

Marketing from the Inside Out to Win Buy-in and Succeed at Change

MichelleKerrigan I read a line recently, “Everything is marketing.” How true. We all have the potential to influence people every day. If you don’t believe that, you probably don’t buy products, share opinions with friends, or have a Facebook page.

I’ve worked with marketing companies my entire career—two powerhouses, one startup—and have executed some amazing campaigns for some amazing clients. A great deal of time and money goes into building a brand, gaining attention, and telling a story to consumers. But what goes on inside the brand? And is anyone supporting it?

Here’s the bottom line: a company’s success is largely based on what its employees do (or don’t do), just as much as what their customers do (or don’t do). So where’s the marketing to employees? How are they being influenced? Today’s tactic of “you’re lucky to have a job” is wearing pretty thin. Coercion is not the answer to winning in the marketplace; maybe marketing from the inside out is.

One of the many things I was asked to change when I led operations at the startup was Customer Support. I had heard a lot of complaints about their lack of knowledge regarding product, policy and membership, their inability to get issues resolved, and their habit of giving away credits (a.k.a. revenue) to soothe angry customers. So, I was very apprehensive accepting this new challenge.

The team was based in California (our headquarters were in New York) so they were far from the everyday action—a difficult situation in any large operation, impossible in a startup where change is an everyday event. It seemed like everyone in New York had something to say about this group, but very few people actually interacted with them. Why??

Here was a team of support agents who were fun, flexible, positive, social thru and thru, and passionate about our product and all kinds of media (music, movies, TV, web). In short, they were our target audience. And, one more thing—the perfect change agents.

Customer Service is Marketing and is Change. It’s where the rubber meets the road, the best advantage point of influence. Yet, it is often overlooked and underutilized. Many companies find the word ‘service’ boring. So it is not surprising how little support customer support gets—another change that has to happen if businesses want to succeed. They don’t see that customer service is change management at its finest, that the same elements needed for employee buy-in and great service—communication, participation, education, support, commitment—-are the same elements needed for customer buy-in and great sales.

Just think of all the companies you love and hate, and why, and I’ll bet your customer service experience played an enormous role in making up your mind, or changing it. Correct?

So, I knew I needed to begin a dialogue between Customer Support and Marketing, Customer Support and Product Development, Customer Support and Merchandising….you get the idea. Whether you’re influencing employees or customers, the dialogue has to be continuous, connected and contagious to work. Marketing from the inside out is effecting change through exchange. The success you have with your internal audience will help you win your external one. Satisfaction guaranteed.

Our VP of Marketing and his team got Customer Support involved in everything we were doing, and a great exchange of ideas and enthusiasm happened across all levels. We discussed customer wants and needs, new feature buzz, targeted campaigns, and product development. We shipped our latest store merchandise out to California so they could see and feel what we were selling, and flew our product manager out to train agents for a new launch. The agents tested new products and shared invaluable feedback from our customers’ point of view which helped us tailor our offerings the right way. Everyone was focused, collaborating, and on the same page: exactly where you want your customer to be.

Marketing rewrote our entire knowledge base, and we began a new story, from the inside out.

It is the job of today’s business leaders to market from the inside out, to take every opportunity to influence employees because, after all, they’re customers too. Begin the dialogue, open doors, get people involved. Share marketing ideas, do internal market research, get product feedback. Create a culture that is customer responsive by being employee responsive.

Be the brand you want everyone to identify with. Your best campaign could be sitting right in front of you.

Marketing has been defined as: “the whole company, taken from the customer’s point of view.”

How do your employees see their company?

Michelle Kerrigan is an operations management and leadership specialist with a unique ability to build trust and rapport quickly, disseminate the view from the top, drill down to the day-to-day, and translate it into people, process, productivity, service, and revenue. She has an extensive and diverse background that includes 20+ years in the entertainment industry for CBS Records and Sony Music. She has led operational growth, organizational change, team building initiatives, corporate and creative operations, and has provided interim management and consulting to startup, private and small business clients.

Posted by Michelle Kerrigan on June 14th, 2010 in Career, Global/Social Change | No comments Read related posts in change management, global and social change, organizational effectiveness

13 jun

What Went Right?

JayForte I hate to wait in line; I will avoid crowds like the plague. So when I have to do an errand at a big home center, I always choose an odd hour. I love that they are open at 6 am. And I don’t mind being the first one there if it means getting my errand done in hurry and without crowds.

So, let me set the stage – a Saturday morning, up early at one of the large home centers in South Florida. I needed three cabinets to mount on the wall of the garage to get things off the floor and out of sight. This has been on my to-do list for nearly a year. Today was the day to get it off the list.

But before I take you quickly through the event, I want to draw your attention to something. We do so many things during the day that work out well – the things that go great. But I find in looking at my own attitude and talking with others, we seem instead to notice and dwell on the things that did not go right, even if there were many things that did go right.

So here is my event. Let’s keep track of the things that went well (Good Thing – I’ll use “GT”) and things that did not (Bad Thing – I’ll use “BT”).

The normally busy highway had few cars and it was an easy ride (GT).

The store was open early and the parking lot had available parking near the door (GT).

The product I needed was not well labeled so it took 10 minutes of wandering to find what I was looking for (BT).

I locate the cabinets I need and the price is reasonable (GT).

There aren’t any of what I need on the shelf; plenty of other sizes but not the ones I need. (BT).

The staff member finds what I need on a higher shelf and prepare to use a forklift to retrieve them. (GT).

I find another brand of cabinet (already preassembled – I can save time and just hang them when I get home, not need to assemble them too) and get help loading on my cart (GT).

I go to the checkout and am the only one in line (GT).

I bring the preassembled cabinets to the car – they don’t fit in any configuration I try (BT).

Okay, stop for a minute. Count the GT’s, and BT’s. Six good to three bad. And at this moment, my only thought is how I hate this event. But actually, things have been great. Why do a few bad things overtake so many good things? Hold that thought. Back to shopping.

I reload the cabinets onto the cart and am now furious about having to return the pre-made cabinets and buy the ones that will need assembly. I now have to do this errand again, as if the first time (BT).

There are no other customers at the return register and they easily process my return, and laugh with me about how some things just don’t work out right (GT).

I find the cabinets I need, get help and they pull three down for me with the forklift truck in a matter of moments (GT).

I go back the check out register – only one customer in front of me in line with a small order. When it is my turn, the woman who initially processed my order recognizes me and looks at me with a face asking for an explanation. We both laugh at the event (GT).

These boxes fit beautifully in the car (GT).

I get them home to find rough packaging damaged one of the cabinets (BT).

I know how to fix what happened to the damaged cabinet and do not need to bring it back to the store (GT).

I follow simple directions and build all three cabinets quickly and easily. (GT).

In another 2 hours, three cabinets are up on the walls in the garage and I get to see the garage floor for the first time in a long time. (GT).

Okay, I know this was a mundane event but realize we are constantly assessing our situations and determining whether they are good or bad. The bad events trigger our defense mechanisms, so the more we focus on what doesn’t go right, the more we activate our fight or flight responses.

Fight or flight is designed to make us efficient at protecting ourselves by amplifying our circulatory system, enhancing our senses and being prepared to defend or run. When our systems shift into fight or flight mode, the rest of our normal systems (those that keep us in balance – homeostasis) are interrupted. And the more we stress and focus on the bad things (BT), the more we constantly activate this fight or flight internal response and the more we suppress our normal health functions and immune system – we get sick. It is actually far more complicated than that but the thing to remember is that when we focus on what went right, we activate a better health response than when we focus on what went wrong. And this response is our choice.

Even though I know this, when a neighbor saw me putting the cabinets up, I went right to the part of the story where the cabinets didn’t fit and basically I had to do the purchase event twice. Then I stopped myself and summarized the great things that happened and that the project was done sooner than I expected.

How do you turn the negative into positive?

Focus on what went right instead of what went wrong. If you are starting to lose your cool, stop! Then list 5 things that have gone well in the last 5 minutes, 30 minutes or hour. Learn to focus on the successes.
End your day with a “what was great today” list. Celebrate great things. Celebrate great responses. This allows you to approach your rest period in a grateful and generous way.
Improve your language of appreciation. Speak kindly to yourself and to others. Notice great things others do and comment on them. Notice the impact on yourself and others when your language moves from negative to positive.

Approach every event with a challenge to stay calm, maintain your cool and find the good things. There are always great events – we just have to focus on what went right instead of what did not. It is our choice to be upbeat and positive. And if you look at the science connecting health and emotions, you will see that one of the greatest things we can do to stay healthy is focus on what went right.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book (due out in August 2010), Happiness Matters; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform Your World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on June 13th, 2010 in Career, Family, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Teens | No comments

28 may

Although Change Is a Fact of Life, It Is Easy to Get Stuck in the Muck

KathiBurns Life is about constant change. Sometimes we simply get tired of learning and changing and feel more comfortable staying where we are. This is why it is understandable that people get stuck. It happens to everyone at some point in his or her life.

If you feel stuck in some area of your life, be it relationships, career or health, start by clearing your environment of unnecessary objects. This is an easy place to begin. It might seem insurmountable, but the good news is that all you really need to do is start. And if you have tried and failed to clear your life of clutter, hire a professional. In a short time, a professional can help you move the papers, set up sustainable systems or do whatever else is needed so that you can gain confidence and a new feeling of mastery of your environment.

Meanwhile, you will have begun to remove blocks that were holding you back from a lot more than just a clean shelf. You do not have to excel in every area of your life. In fact, it is not possible. It is not in our DNA to be great at everything. Thank goodness or this would truly be a boring and one-dimensional world. It’s not a tragedy if you can’t figure out how to keep the paper piles at bay or get on top of whatever else is mucking up your life. You are probably great in other areas of your life.

Everyone needs help moving through personal blocks at one time or another. The most successful people in life realize this and quickly hire others to assist them when they reach a personal or career standstill. Masters always hire other masters so don’t feel like you have to move through every life change alone.

Posted by Kathi Burns on May 28th, 2010 in Career, General, New Directions, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in Career, change, muck, professionals, stuck, unstuck

24 may

Conditioned to Think You Can’t

JayForte A friend and I had a discussion this morning about what influences our perspectives. He reminded me of how a 5-ton elephant can be controlled with nothing more than a chain and a post.

When baby elephants are captured, they are restrained by a chain connected to a post, anchored to the ground. Because of their small size, they try to pull free but cannot. They then learn that when chained to the post, they cannot get away – and they remember this. So as they become an adult elephant, very capable of pulling free from the chain, they don’t think they can, so they don’t try. An early memory told them they can’t and now they never challenge it.

We are like elephants. We have early memories about something that influenced us and we bring that perception to today. It could have been a comment, a look or a response by someone that we knew or maybe didn’t know. It could have been an event that backfired like stumbling in front of others and we are now convinced we can never be on stage, in front of an audience, or lead a meeting. We are frequently chained to think we can’t – even though we can. Here is a personal example.

As a kid I had a terrible interdental lisp. When it was pointed out to me, I stopped speaking, tremendously worried that I would embarrass myself. As I started speech therapy I found I had an easy ability to learn a language and to articulate sounds – something I never would have known. I quickly learned a new way to pronounce an “s.” Today, I am a speaker. Imagine. If I had let the terrible events that introduce me to my speech impediment control me, I would have been like the elephant chained to a post, thinking I should be embarrassed about myself and stay out of the public. I would have never chosen my favorite work and my best fit – speaking to audiences about talents, passions and possibilities. I can imagine doing nothing else. I broke my chain. And I found a strength in the process.

Many of us remain captive to “I can’t” thinking, like the elephants chained to the post, because we don’t know ourselves well enough to know how capable and strong we really are. The more we connect to our unique talents, strengths and passions, the more we find our internal strength – the strength that helps us realize our futures are not dependent on our pasts. We are not limited by events that happened to us. True, they influence us, but we have attributes (call them gifts) that help build our courage and our confidence to break our chains and come through stronger, braver and better.

From my perspective, life events are placed as obstacles to help us stop, think about a better way, and get to know ourselves better. When we encounter an obstacle we can act like the elephant – to stand still and give in. Or, we can think our way through it and realize we are more capable than we imagined. And when you do this several times, you develop the courage to consistently do it and life becomes yours to invent.

To help you break your chains, consider the following:

- Think of one “I can’t” situations that currently limits you. Think back to the event that made you feel incapable, unworthy, unable, etc.

- Assess your talents and strengths. What attributes do you have that allow you to move past this limit – what attributes do you have that will help you break your chain?

- What is the first small step you can take to move past this limit – to see how capable you are and to develop your confidence?

- Try one, then another, then another. Then throw the chain away.

There are truly some situations where “I can’t” may be the right response. But we use “I can’t” significantly more frequently than we should because we are controlled or influenced by things said or done in our past. Today gets built today – there is no particular reason why it must be like yesterday unless you want it that way.

What is true for you today? What are your talents, passions and strengths, and how do they give you the confidence and courage to say “I can” instead of “I can’t.”

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book, The End of Average; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform Your World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

Posted by Jay Forte on May 24th, 2010 in Career, Diet and Fitness, Family, Finances, Global/Social Change, Health, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Teens | No comments Read related posts in control life, elephant, inspired, owner, passions, possibility, purpose, strengths, talents

20 may

Action Provides the Momentum to Turn Your Thoughts and Words into Reality

KathiBurns Once you have thought about your end goal and written it down into succinct words, you are ready to begin taking appropriate action.

Since life sometimes takes unexpected turns, it helps to simplify your large goals and chunk them into smaller parcels and time increments. For instance, if you want to gross $300,000 this year, divide that into 12 months, and then into the number of days you will work towards that goal each month.

Clearly dividing your end result into smaller increments will keep you from becoming overwhelmed. It will also enable you to easily track your progress on a daily basis.

This is the thinking part of thought, word and deed. You will need to think about the specific desired result at the end of each day, week, month, quarter and year.

Once you have reduced your goal into bite-sized pieces, you can take action and go about your business to reach your incremental goals at a consistent pace. If there comes a day that your goals are not met, you can then easily make a choice to work late or add more time to your schedule the following day. You might even decide that your progress is sufficient and personal balance is more important.

This is the beauty of having clearly defined action steps: you can make an informed decision and sometimes choose balance without guilt because you know exactly where you are with your goals at that moment.

As you learn to harness the power of thought, word, deed (or action), you will become very powerful at manifesting and realizing your dreams! Try it, this is the universal law of attraction and has served mankind for centuries.

This is an excerpt from Kathi’s book How to Master Your Muck ~ Get Organized. Add Space To Your Life. Live Your Purpose!

Posted by Kathi Burns on May 20th, 2010 in Career, Global/Social Change, New Directions, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in action, action steps, belief, belief systems, goals, law of attraction, manifesting abundance, thoughts, Words

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