First 30 Days Blog

04 aug

Coming Out of Survival: Being at Peace with What Is

WaniManley Two weeks ago, I spent the weekend sitting with myself and observing my life in an attempt to really be at a place of complete non resistance to certain aspects of my life that just seems to be going in a downward spiral. It seems to me that no matter what I do, I find myself returning back to the same old movie over and over again with the same ending. Total Groundhog Day. My intention during this time was to really sit with myself and observe everything in my life without any commentary and without me trying to change anything about myself, my life or any persistent or re-occurring problems. I didn’t do any personal development stuff or any of my spiritual practices; I decided to turn consciousness off for a bit and just chill. Literally, I did nothing and for three days I said “it is what it is.”

On the last day of this which was on a Sunday, I was invited by a friend to go to a yacht party aboard a 90ft yacht owned by one of the world’s most renowned free-divers. At the time, I was; miserable, feeling hopeless, defeated, overwhelmed with mounting transitions and uncertainty, an avalanche of difficulties, and the fact that everything that I identify with for a sense of self or security was either being taken away or falling away, from the gross to the subtle level and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. It was all out of my control. I was also broker than broke, feeling frustrated and stuck, and ofcourse feeling there is something wrong with me. Feeling like crap, I contemplated not going, but eventually said “why not?” After all, there was a live Club Space DJ spinning, which is my favorite club in Miami; therefore, how could I resist? And so, off I went on this beautiful yacht feeling but in the inside feeling like death and shit warmed over. We cruised for about forty-five minutes from North Bay Village into Key Biscayne on what was another gorgeous day in Miami. Once we reached Key Biscayne, we anchored next to surrounding boats and yachts and we would spend about eight glorious hours on the water with the music blaring non-stop.

There was a time where I went to the front of the yacht just to be with myself and let my skin be kissed by the warm rays of the sun. It was hot as hell that day but I loved and savored every ray of the heat. I’m not sure how long I was upfront of the yacht but there was one point I looked around at the sea of boats and yachts and would notice a universal of alignment of yachts with piercing messages poignantly directed to me. I noticed the yacht directly in front of our yacht and in my center view was labeled “No-Rules.” My gaze was then pulled to my right by an unseen but felt force and the yacht in that peripheral was named “No Problems II.” My attention was then directed to my left and there was another yacht named “Stress-Less,” ironically. I looked up at the top of the very yacht I was sitting on and saw it was called “Persistence.” I thought, “WTH?” In disbelief, I looked again at each of those yachts and the one I was sitting on and put my head down and then back up.

I had stopped just long enough to notice what was before me, what was around me, inside of me, made up of me and all the messages from the Universe that was starting to live stream to me. I saw the blatant message of tremendous abundance, not lack as my mind is so conditioned towards and it didn’t necessarily have to do with the material possessions of million dollar yachts but I understood the yachts to just be an instrument of the messages being conveyed. Appreciation set in, and at that moment, I was at peace with what is and what had been with my life. I recognized the messages of that I was supported and that no matter how turbulent the life is all is well. In this moment, I would also get the message to let go and lay down fear and worry that, and the shame and embarrassment of the constant telling of myself of I’m not where I am suppose to be. In this moment, I also saw that everything in which I identify with in order to feel safe, secured, loved or to gain approval is an illusion and they was the very root cause of my suffering as all of it was a false sense of security. I then said, “Universe, if this is really how bad my life is, I’ll take it.”

More importantly, finally in this moment, I had arrived at being at peace with what is and what has been and for me, appreciation is key. I didn’t have to love what is, but I was finally at peace with what is. I saw to not be was insanity. I saw that when you argue against what is or what was, you are signing up for “Suffering 101.” I came to an inner space of vastness and perfection and saw that my life was perfect as is and the only proof I needed this was so was because it hadn’t been any other way. For me to believe that it should be any different than what it was or had been is just stone wall crazy. I came to a deep place of surrender and realized that I am not in control of anything and everything is actually happening on its own. What’s more, it really sunk in with me that if my life were any different and smoother, I wouldn’t be writing a book about it. Things or events in one’s life really are just the way that they are and not descriptive in any sense. It is our own personal commentary that we add onto to the events and happenings of our lives that causes us to suffer. The sad thing is that none of it is even true and all of it is totally in our head; yet we believe it to be true.

Being at peace with what is doesn’t keep challenges and difficulties from happening in ones’ life. Infact, things got progressively difficult and challenging for me even right after this moment of enlightenment, like the day after. What it does do; however, is to show you that all is well and in the flow of life. Being at peace with what is does puts you in a place of vastness to deal with any difficulty or challenges you face and puts you in the alignment of awareness of a workable solution that is supported by the Universe. I know being at peace with what is isn’t easy, especially when times are rough, and your life seems to be going straight to hell in a hand basket, but I assure you the alternative, is futile and will keep your returning to the same old movie over and over. The choice is yours. It is just a decision.

Coming Out of Survival,

Wani Manly

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Posted by Wani Manly on August 4th, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

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