First 30 Days Blog

20 jun

Coming Out of Survival 19: Your Relationship with Money

WaniManley19. Your Relationship with Money

In November of last year, I had a reading done on me by a very gifted reader from the Dominican Republic whose name is Grace. This was my third reading but this particular reading was far apart and special from the previous two as it was primarily about my life’s work and the next chapter of my life concerning same. Of the many things I was told by Grace, I was advised by her of the following in her cutest Dominican accent as she waived her index finger in my face: “Do not accept nothing negative from nobody. If anyone tells you anything negative, you tell them, CANCELADO, CANCELADO, CANCELADO.” Cancelado means cancel in English. Of all the fabulous things Grace told me, and gosh, there were so many, this really stuck with me. I’ve followed Grace’s advice to the tee to the point that some of my friends get annoyed with my anything is possible rhetoric. I refuse to let anybody talk anything negative around me and yes, I do call them out on it when they do. I purposely stay away from “misery camps” and “pity parties,” two venues that we women love to relish in and when anyone asks how I’m doing, I say “Fantastic.” No matter what’s going in my life, this is my story and I’m sticking to it. What Grace didn’t tell me (perhaps because this was the obvious, or that she had noted that someone said something to me I have believed and has got me down and held me back) was that “I” should not accept “nothing negative from “me.” Quite frankly, I find that I don’t’ always march to the beat of my own drum when it comes to the likes of money.

I am self-employed; which, means that when it comes to money, it’s either feast or famine and my famine days usually far outweighs my times of feast. Consistent income? I have no idea what that is and haven’t had it since 2006 when I decided to throw out my own shingle and do my own thing with my own law firm. When I feast, all is ofcourse well, even splendid. But when its famine or drought time, it’s hell and you better believe, my “poor me” and all its negative relatives take center stage and “Ms. Positive” is nowhere to be found. I’ve been chasing money for what seems to be all my life. The quest to independently create my own fortune has been the driving force of my life. And during a recent hypnosis neo-natal regression, I learned I came into this life already with the belief the money was always going to be a struggle for me; a belief that was passed on to me from my mother during pregnancy. And so as it is our beliefs that create our own reality, money has always been Issue No.1 for me and the struggle has been that there is never quite enough. Up until this point, it has seemed to me to be that my life purpose is to undue my money karma rather than my own personal freedom.

In all of my inner and outer work in trying to undo my money karma and attain wealth to live the life that I have truly desired, I‘ve had two rude awakenings: 1) that it is not about the money at all; never was and never will be; 2) instead, that it is how I feel or what I believe about myself that creates my money karma in the manifestation of lack of money or the opposite. What is operative at the center of all the drama is the belief and energy of “I can’t.” This core belief of “I can’t” shows up as having little or no money, no clients, difficulty in attracting clients, clients that can’t afford your services, can’t pay, or that want to nickel and dime you, or that makes you stay in these dead-end jobs with the boss from hell while you live paycheck to paycheck robbing Peter to pay Paul. What’s more, this same belief or energy of “I can’t” is the same energy that makes you lose your home, keeps you overweight, keep you in unfulfilled and toxic relationships, have things break down, miss your flights, never having enough time, lack of creativity, etc. I could go on forever with countless examples, but in sum, the energy of “I can’t” is what keeps you returning to the same miserable movie over and over with the same repeating story line starring yours truly. The “I can’t” energy often also shows up as the energy or belief of “I’m a failure,” “I’m not successful,” or “I’m not good/smart enough.” Don’t be fooled. It’s all one in the same. It is this very energy that keeps you playing small and giving away your personal power away to others. It is the “I can’t” that leaves you broke and keeps you living on an allowance rather than living abundantly and feeling broken. It is also the same energy that keeps you in neutral stuck from taking meaningful action. It is this very energy that keeps you in perpetual lack, struggling, surviving, trying to maintain and suffering like a dog. Why? Because money is a function of your consciousness. Period. As one of my favorite authors Dr. Iyanla Vanzant states, the word “money” stands for “my own natural energy yields.” Truer words were never spoken. In other words, money is how you feel about yourself!

Being broke and being wealthy has nothing to do with your bank account, but has everything to do with your attitude. It is all about your attitude and how you feel about yourself that determines everything in your external life including your money life. If you want to fix your money life, then fix your attitude toward yourself followed by being grateful and appreciative for what you do have. Do this and watch your money life transform right before your very own eyes. When I actually realized this, I started to first and foremost, check my energy. I went after all the ways in which I disapproved of myself and the ways in which I was not so loving towards myself and was giving my power away. I prayed and asked for the capacity to look deep within myself…way deep. In other words, I asked to look at the stuff within me I’ve repressed for years or lifetimes that I’ve said, “Hell No” to and looked the other cheek. I’ve also stopped chasing and worrying about money and instead, I take care of my energy and keep it positive. I stopped telling the story of “what is” and tell the story of “what I want it to be.” Most importantly, I’ve gone from “what I want to have” to “what I want to become.”

And now, I just trust and allow money and abundance in. I see money as the same energy as the air that I breathe. I don’t ever go outside and be concerned with whether there is enough air for me to breathe. Why? Because my energy is different. I’ve radically said “CANCELADO” to my “I Can’t” voice and have turned up the volume, treble, and base on my voice of “I Can.” Not only is the money now starting to show up but the right people and resources are starting to show up in my life to help me do the work I came here and need to do. Opportunities are all around me so that I can’t keep track of all the creative ideas that are now flowing through me. I’m even coming up with brilliant ideas for others and their projects. It’s insane! I love it!!!

And so, if prosperity is your issue, I can’t impress upon you enough to remember that wealth is simply your attitude and money is just energy….that is, your energy. Learn to see that there is a direct correlation between how you feel about yourself and your bank account and whatever else is showing up in your life. Focus on what it is you’d like to become rather than what you’d like to have. Start hitting the “CANCEL” button on your own limiting voices of “I Can’t” or “I Don’t Have” or “I Can’t Afford It” and any other negative derivatives and always remember that God or the Universe, which is just your Higher Self, is the source; therefore, you can, be, do, or have anything you want.

Coming Out of Survival,

Wani Manly

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Posted by Wani Manly on June 20th, 2011 in Uncategorized | 1 comments

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One Comment

  • Good point, Wani! Your words reminded me of this vague statement from the Tao:

    So the unwanting soul
    sees what’s hidden,
    and the ever-wanting soul
    sees only what it wants.

    (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Lao_Tzu)

    — Added by elizab on June 24th, 2011

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