First 30 Days Blog

21 jul

Your Center of Good

A few months ago I voluntarily ensconced myself in a darkened theater with screenwriters, producers and actors. We were there to listen to Robert McKee give his 4-Day “Story” Seminar (www.mckeestory.com). I’m a fan of Bob McKee’s, author of “Story”, a book that many in Hollyweird (his pet name for Hollywood) consider the bible on the art of story telling and screenwriting. His genius is in his ability to analyze what motivates people to act the way they do. So you can understand why I was thrilled to be there delving deeper into the nature of human behavior.

Two days into the Seminar, McKee said something that struck me. “All people operate from their “center of good”". In other words, we operate in ways that make total sense to us because we are always able to justify our actions. Each of us believes we are doing the right thing and want to identify with the positive. However, we’ve all made financial decisions we later regretted. Tagged, unworn clothes that have never graced a body hang in thousands of closets, hastily bought knick- knacks that clutter our homes end up in storage boxes, books with uncracked spines, even real estate sold too soon and from a place of fear… all reminders of our acts of impatience, insecurities and unmet needs.

If hindsight is 20/20 then our past can teach us why we made certain decisions when we did. The best time to grocery shop is not when you’re famished. Unrequited hunger of any emotional kind clouds judgment as one searches unsuccessfully for them through material things; things that aren’t designed to meet unmet needs like money, food and even satisfying relationships. Unmet needs leave you craving for more.

Find a quiet time to revisit a recent purchase made. Rewind and slow everything down as you travel back to a moment when you made a financial decision you later regretted.

*What mood or state of mind were you in?
*How did you justify your purchase at the time?
*What had you hoped it would do? Solve a problem, soothe your soul or bring you closer to someone, perhaps?
*Try and pinpoint at what point in your decision making you moved away from your inner wisdom. Were you by yourself or were you in a group, participating in a wave of collective thoughts?
*What’s the lesson learned? Next time you find yourself in a similar position, what can you do to stay in touch with your core?

The reason you do this now, when you are relaxed and in an “uncharged” state is so the next time (life will always bring another situation to teach you the same lesson until you are ready to learn it and move on) you find yourself in a more heated or pressured situation and sense your “center” shifting you will remember the inquiry process just described. That’s how we create change. Do this enough times and it eventually becomes less conscious. This is why I say that your relationship with money is a practice. Remember this expansive part of you so you can return to it when you need to slow down and create space between your impulses and action.

As well, it is crucial that you forgive your past financial trespasses. Let them go. Learn from them, but let them go. Beating yourself up if even in your mind is a violent act. Violence is born out fear, anger, frustration and insecurity… those emotions do not lead to peace or true prosperity.

Someone recently asked if the necessity to gage ourselves and the way we are with money ever goes away. I don’t think it does. As with any relationship, keeping it vibrant and healthy requires constant attention and nurturing. I love money as it serves as an alert body reflecting where our focus is.

When we open ourselves to our inner wisdom we empower ourselves by discovering innate resources that help us fulfill those parts of ourselves that are in need of attention. By dancing between our inner and outer worlds of being and money we maintain our balance.


Helen Kim is the Founder of YourMoneyRelationship.com, a company devoted to helping people gain clarity around their relationship with money so they can make conscious financial decisions. Her programs help you loosen the grip of emotions and beliefs that interfere with your ability to allow financial freedom into your life. With her mindful approach, Helen gives you the opportunity to create a positive, dynamic and nurturing relationship with money and therefore, yourself.

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Posted by Helen Kim on July 21st, 2010 in Finances | 0 comments

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