Archive for July, 2010

Prosperity Paradigm Part 2: Knowing What We’re Really Worth

War, poverty, corruption, hunger, misery, human suffering will not change in a monetary system. That is, there will be very little significant change. It’s going to take the total redesign of our culture and values. -Jacque Fresco

Think of it. If one cell in your body survives and succeeds at the expense of the entire organism, it will soon no longer have the organism in order to succeed off of, and it, alone will die. And this is what is happening with the old consciousness and energy on our planet. The way the system has been set up for all of us is no longer being accepted because we are waking up to our worth.

The fear paradigm has been presented to humanity for ages. It asks us to turn over our power to an authority, an outside power. It is a world where few have power, benefit, and truth. We’ve lived it and tried it and it is failing all of us. We are still at war. We are still sick with disease. We are still hungry and hoping for the truth: that love and life are the most valuable currency.

Without the success of the entire planet and all its beings, you and I cannot succeed either. And without the knowing of self, and achieving of success within the self, then the world will not succeed either. It starts with YOU.

Shifting the way we think about our personal worth starts by “Knowing Thyself”. You are infinitely rich in potential. You don’t need money in order to achieve anything of worth. Don’t ever forget that anyone who has ever changed the world, like Gandhi, left a legacy of fulfillment like Dr. Martin Luther King, or found freedom like the forefathers, did so by started with what was inside of them, their thoughts, and you’re a walking bank of them right now.

When do we begin to value ourselves, and the planet over profit? It’s already happening. A visible conscious shift is underway within today’s consumer. We are getting connected on issues like saving the planet, we are interested in organic food, holistic healing and yoga, we want to help each other regardless of nationality or religion, we are getting involved, we want to use our power to create healthier more meaningful lives.

And think about the things that really have value and meaning in your life. The things that bring you joy. Your unique experiences. Your first kiss. A smile from a stranger. That hug you needed when you felt down in the dumps. How about when you paint, sing, dance, write or draw? Creativity is really what we value because creators are who we really are.

Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative Class, postulates that in order for the economy to thrive, it has to radically evolve. It is going to have to put, as financial guru Suze Orman puts it, “people first, then money.” Because of the Internet, and the age of information and awareness, companies and governments are forced to become accountable, transparent, socially/ecologically responsible and they are answering to us, the people. And we are eager to go green and give back. We want products that are by the people, for the people.

The destructive economy is dying of its own unsustainable accord and the creative economy is emerging. You can join it by shifting your consciousness within, to you.

As infinite potential, our consciousness contains all the collective components necessary to not just merely survive this life, but to thrive in it. Life is a gift, not a test. Life thrives on the bottom of the ocean with no sunlight, plants grow out of the cracks of cement, our entire pale blue dot of a planet swims in the midst of chaotic deadly cosmic sea. There is always a way for life to be prosperous, beautiful and joyful regardless of the outer circumstances. That is because the value of life comes from within, where the divine lives.

Now is our time to embrace this and shift the current economy to something that serves and values all of us. Until every man, woman and child is clothed, housed and fed, and until we restore our lives to the natural emergent harmonious cycles and systems of nature, which is the enemy of profit (scarcity) because ALL life is abundantly prosperous. Prosperity is the natural state of our unlimited ability to create an abundance of anything we desire.

Once we shift our consciousness from being currency centered to being connected with our true inner worth, which also means being connected to each other and the planet, we can begin to construct a world that eradicates war, poverty, corruption, suffering, hunger and separation.

Lets start being aware right now that we can set ourselves free to create an economy that we deserve, one that places the value of people and the planet first. Because we are, and always have been, abundantly wealthy in the one currency (or energy) that never loses value, can be bought or sold, or that is scarce; LOVE. And love is what we are all really worth.

Sky Sheridan is founder of the conscious Ad-venture, Called2Create. Find out how to empower your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about yourself, others and the world by clicking here: Called2Create and awaken your creative capacity and infinite potential now.

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Posted by Sky Sheridan on July 21st, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in 2012, Affirmation, Aura, Babies, beauty, body, Called2Create, Chakra, change, Community, Connection, Consciousness, Creation, Dance, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Earth, Environment, Fashion, Finance, Funny, Green, Hay House, HEALING, Heaven, Holistic, Inner Being, Joy, Laughter, light, Louise L. Hay, LOVE, Massage, Mind, Models, money, Mormon, Mother Nature, Music, Namaste, New Age, News, Obama, Oprah, Planet Earth, religion, Spirit, Spiritual, The Secret, Wellbeing, Wellness, Yoga

Want What We Have

Recently someone said to me, “Mike, I read the best book of my life a few years ago. It only had four words in it, ‘want what you have’.”

As simple of a concept as this is, I was struck by its wisdom and began to think about it in my own life. Sadly, as I thought about it more deeply, I realized that I put more of my attention and energy than I’d like to admit on either wanting things I don’t yet have or thinking that some of what I have isn’t quite good enough the way it is. Can you relate?

How much of what you have in your life do you truly want (i.e. desire and choose)? How much time and energy do you spend wishing things were different, or that you had a little more of this and a little less of that?

Most of us, even those of us who “know better,” spend and waste a lot of time thinking that things will be better when…we lose weight, get promoted, move into a nicer place, make more money, get married, have children, get out of debt, have more free time, start our own business, get the kids out of the house, retire, recover from a specific injury, illness, or setback, or whatever else it is we think needs to change in order for us to be happy and fulfilled.

While the circumstances of our lives – both “positive” and “negative” – do have an impact on us, the truth is that we always have a choice about how we relate to our circumstances and to ourselves in the process. A great job, big house, large amount of money, fit body, incredible relationship, or anything else we say we want, can’t and won’t make us happy if we don’t choose to be.

In other words, to create an authentic sense of fulfillment in life, we have to learn how to want what we already have in our lives with gratitude. One of my favorite and oft-used quotes is from author and teacher Byron Katie. She says, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only one hundred percent of the time.”

Wanting what we have doesn’t mean everything is “perfect” in our lives, which is almost never the case, or that we can’t desire for things to change or evolve in a way we deem positive. It simply means we choose to accept what we have in our life, right now, with a sense of gratitude and surrender.

Surrendering is not about complacency, weakness, or giving up – it’s about learning to make peace with life as it is. It’s important for us to remember that the passion, joy, and fulfillment we experience doesn’t come from life itself, it comes from us and our ability to accept, appreciate, and celebrate what we have in our lives.

Here are some great questions to ask yourself when dealing with some of the most difficult and challenging aspects of your life (i.e. the stuff you say you don’t want):

• What good is here that I’m currently not seeing?
• What is this situation teaching me that I’m grateful for?
• Why is this happening for (not to) me?
• What would it look like if I surrendered to this instead of fighting against it?
• What aspect of myself can I appreciate more deeply as a way of loosening the grip of this issue in my life?

By asking and answering these questions (and others like it), you’ll give yourself an opportunity to look more deeply at some of the challenges in your life, realize that these things are here to instigate growth and expansion, and remind you that you have the ability to choose them consciously – which can take away much of the suffering you may currently experience.

By putting more of our attention on wanting what we already have, and less attention on fixing things or wanting what we don’t yet have, we can create a deep sense of peace and joy in our lives, our work, and our relationships, which, more than most specific outcomes or material possessions, is what most of us truly want anyway.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

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Posted by Mike Robbins on July 21st, 2010 in Global/Social Change, New Directions, Uncategorized | No comments

OperationsRx: Change and the High Cost of Conflict

“Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him.”—Thomas Carlyle

I live and lead by this quote, especially during change, which, in today’s workplace, is often an everyday event. I have led teams through 20 years of change, and have learned that the most important thing you control is how you react to it. Your reaction is key to your success as a leader because it’s vital to the success of your team. An open mind can break barriers; a resistant one can break companies. To coin another phrase: you reap what you sow.

Conflict doesn’t just come in color, gender or sexual orientation, it comes in generations X, Y, and BB, industry, corporate hierarchy, even area of expertise (think marketing vs. finance, production vs. creative, creative vs. legal, technology vs. everyone—at least in this story).

Case in point: When I led operations for a startup, our chief technology officer created enormous conflict between his management team and just about everyone else. He ran his division tightly, and spent most of his time criticizing what other departments were doing. Here was an officer of the company who was intelligent, articulate, and expert in his field, but who disputed everything, so couldn’t learn from anyone. His intolerance and uncooperativeness were a huge drain, and were often reflected in his senior managers. It was easy to see he wasn’t a leader to help an organization grow.

Our marketing team had launched a premium product a month before I started, a high-ticket item for our VIP elite that included a custom card (similar in look and feel to a credit card), that gained them access to entertainment events, and special backstage access at concert venues. Orders were pouring in, but only the first batch went out, with incorrect information, no less. Why?

In any company, especially a startup, new processes need to be walked all the way through during implementation to ensure all the dots are connected, including who does what and when. This is where I come in. It’s painstaking and detailed, but it’s necessary and worth it because it’s where barriers to productivity are found, and where revenue can be made or lost. In this case, there were about $500,000 worth of reasons to figure out what was going wrong.

I spoke with our fulfillment partner, who had yet to receive any new or corrected files, and worked my way through every department responsible until I found the problem: data was being generated, but not being delivered. All these new members, and not one file had left the building. The files were stuck fast in the technology department waiting for someone to pull the trigger. Extraordinary!

I also discovered that certain people knew the files were still on our side of the fire wall, but they felt it wasn’t their responsibility to push past it and help resolve our problem. What???

The fulfillment house told me they could make up lost time if they received the files that day, but organized the correct way. Our support tech told me it would take only an hour to do, but warned of repercussions from the CTO and his VP. I gave the go-ahead, and got the VP on the phone. All I heard was concern over how the CTO would react…..but no realization of how our customers would react.

The CTO was, of course, furious, and wasted even more time arguing his point with anyone who would answer his call. Yes, I did speak with him. Unfortunately, his was a reaction that would repeat itself often, and looking back, quite possibly, cost us the company.

Growth means change, which means the ability to learn, adapt, and shift gears quickly. Resistance impedes progress—you want a corporate culture that reflects your best strengths, not your worst nightmare. You need all the positive energy you can muster when you’re poised for growth and change. Just think how different things would have been if the CTO’s negative energy was channeled in a positive direction.

How often does this happen in your organization? How often is a line drawn in the sand that stops the flow of progress? How often are business leaders unwilling to yield, making decisions based on resistance rather than revenue?

The chief technology officer was my superior, and I did learn from him. I learned that some managers are not leaders: they over react, don’t set the right tone, and are incapable of creating a sense of unity. I learned that leaders need to grow, to be invested in expanding their own capabilities, as well as their team’s.

I learned that an open mind is the fast track to change. It’s not about who makes the final decision, but why it’s made. I learned that you get the behavior you tolerate, and if you expect to have a global dialog in this world of change, you have to learn to be open to (and communicate with) all those X,Y, BBs, designers, lawyers and tech people sitting right in front of you.

One final note: an interesting thing happened when I ran this article by some people I know, prior to posting. When they read the opening quote, they focused on the word “man” which sent up a red flag right away. I learned from this too…if you only focus on what you don’t like, you may miss the big picture. Wow.

Copyright 2010 Michelle Kerrigan.

Michelle Kerrigan provides consulting and interim management and leadership to companies that need her motivation and productivity expertise to organize and expedite the flow of day-to-day operations, and to move forward during growth and change. She is hands-on, ensuring process is planned, people are focused, problems are solved, and quality work and service are flying out the door. Michelle’s background includes 20+ years in the entertainment industry for Sony Music and CBS Records, as well as interim work with startup, private and small business clients. She has led organizational change, operational growth, business and creative operations, and is known as ‘air traffic control’ for landing marketing and corporate strategies safely, on time, for years.

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Posted by Michelle Kerrigan on July 14th, 2010 in Global/Social Change, Uncategorized | 2 comments Read related posts in emotional intelligence, global change, growth, leadership, organizational effectiveness

Light Up the Dark

You can’t see light; you only see what light illuminates.

I remember being unable to read the menu at a local restaurant because of the low mood lighting. I also remember sitting on a plane, trying to use the ambient light to get some work done because the light over my seat did not work. I was in the dark – unable to see things that mattered.

So, as we add more light, things get clearer. At the restaurant, I went to the greeter’s station for more light to read the menu and selected an entrée I loved. In the plane, I changed seats with a passenger who wanted to sleep and did not care about the light, and I was able to do my work. I added some light so the important things around me were illuminated. It improved my choices and my impact.

What a perfect analogy for life. Many people live in the dark, unaware and unable to see who they really are. They spend little time shining the light inside themselves to see what talents, passions and strengths they have. They don’t really know themselves.

I believe that we are each hardwired for greatness – and this hardwiring is evident in our talents, strengths and passions. We love some things and not others. We are good at some things and not others. The more light we shine into ourselves (the more we get to know ourselves), the more information we discover about ourselves. The more information we have about ourselves, the better decisions we can make about our personal and professional lives. We can then invent lives of great value, happiness and impact. And it starts by lighting up “our” dark.

So, consider the following ways of internal illumination – so you can better see your greatest attributes and gifts, then build your most extraordinary life:

1. Notice your responses to things you like and don’t like. Notice the things that seem to make you feel capable and confident and the things that challenge you. Get good at watching your reactions and responses.

2. Have a conversation with people who know you well and ask what they feel you are good at and what you seem most passionate about. Others can shine light on how you think and how you respond.

3. Consider meditation as a means to quiet things around you to start to notice yourself, your gifts, your thoughts and your perspectives. You gather a lot of information in the quiet moments.

Get good at turning the light on to see what it illuminates. The more you know yourself, the more you can make decisions that play to your unique combination of talents, passions and strengths; these help you live a life you love. They also help you bring your best to a world that is invented each day by what do with your best. Besides, the more you play to your talents and passions, the happier you are and the more you light up life for others.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and business seminar leader. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resources, Stand Out and Get Hired, and The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual. He has just completed his new book (due out in August 2010), The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit and Transform The World; chapter downloads will soon be available on his website. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at www.LiveFiredUp.com.

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Posted by Jay Forte on July 12th, 2010 in Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Spirituality, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in darkness, invent life, know yourself, light, talents

Taking in the Good

Scientists believe that your brain has a built-in “negativity bias.” In other words, as we evolved over millions of years, dodging sticks and chasing carrots, it was a lot more important to notice, react to, and remember sticks than it was for carrots.

That’s because – in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived – if they missed out on a carrot, they usually had a shot at another one later on. But if they failed to avoid a stick – a predator, a natural hazard, or aggression from others of their species – WHAM, no more chances to pass on their genes.

The negativity bias shows up in lots of ways. For example, studies have found that:
• In a relationship, it typically takes five good interactions to make up for a single bad one.
• People will work much harder to avoid losing $100 than they will work to gain the same amount of money.
• Painful experiences are much more memorable than pleasurable ones.

In your own mind, what do you usually think about at the end of the day? The fifty things that went right, or the one that went wrong? Like the guy who cut you off in traffic, what you wish you had said differently to a co-worker, or the one thing on your To Do list that didn’t get done . . .

In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. Read more »

Posted by Dr. Rick Hanson on July 9th, 2010 in Family, General, Global/Social Change, Health, New Directions | No comments Read related posts in action strategies, aggression, Buddha’s Brain, carrots, co worker, implicit memory, injustice, kindness, natural hazard, negative direction, negative experiences, negativity bias, one people, painful experiences, personal qualities, Rick Hanson, sincerity, teflon, velcro

The Brain in a Bucket

Have you ever seen a real brain?

I remember the first time I saw one, in a neuropsych class: the instructor put on rubber gloves to protect against the formaldehyde preservative, popped the lid off of a lab bucket, and then pulled out a brain.

It didn’t look like much, a nondescript waxy yellowish-white blob rather like a sculpted head of cauliflower. But the whole class went silent. We were looking at the real deal, ground zero for consciousness, headquarters for “me.” The person it came from – or, in a remarkable sense, the person who came from it – was of course dead. Would my brain, too, end up in a lab bucket? That thought gave me a creepy weird feeling completely unlike the feeling of having my heart or hand in a bucket some day – which gets right at the specialness of your brain.

That blobby organ – just three pounds of tofu-like tissue – is considered by scientists to be the most complex object currently known in the universe. It holds 100 billion neurons (see the schematic illustration just below) amidst another trillion support cells. A typical neuron makes about 5000 connections called synapses with other neurons, producing a neural network with 500 trillion nodes in it. At any moment, each node is active or not, creating a kind of 0 or 1 bit of information. Neurons commonly fire five to fifty times a second, so while you’ve been reading this paragraph, literally quadrillions of bits of information have circulated inside your head.

Your nervous system – with its control center in the brain – moves information around like your heart moves blood around. Broadly defined, all that information is the mind, most of which is forever unconscious. Apart from the influence of hypothetical transcendental factors – call them God, Spirit, the Ground, or by no name at all – the mind is what the nervous system does. So if you care at all about your mind – including your emotions, sense of self, pleasures and pains, memories, dreams, reflections – (and who doesn’t?) then it makes tons of sense to care about what’s going on inside your own brain.

Until very recently, the brain was like the weather: you could care about it all you wanted, but you couldn’t do a thing about it. But new brain imaging technologies like functional MRI’s have revolutionized neuropsychology much as the invention of the microscope transformed biology. According to Dr. Alan Lesher, CEO of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, our knowledge of the brain has doubled in the past twenty years.

These breakthroughs have informed – and been informed by – practical applications in psychotherapy. For example, trauma therapies have been improved by research on memory, while the results of interventions such as EMDR have suggested new lines of investigation. Like other therapists, I feel clearer about a client’s mind because more is known about his or her brain.

I’m also a meditator – started in 1974, at the tail end of college – so it’s been inspiring to see something similar happening with contemplative practice. Some of the most interesting studies of brain function have been done on long-term meditators, the Olympic athletes of mental training. For example, experienced meditators actually have thicker cortical layers in the brain regions responsible for self-awareness and the control of attention.

This illustrates a fundamental point with extraordinary potential: when your mind changes, your brain changes, both temporarily – with the momentary flicker of synaptic activity – and in lasting ways through formation of new neural structures. Therefore, you can use your mind to change your brain to benefit your whole being – and every other being whose life you touch.

The new neuroscience, combined with the insights of clinical psychology and contemplative practice, gives you an historically unprecedented opportunity to shift your brain – and thus your mind – toward greater happiness, love, and wisdom.

And that’s what this blog is about: skillful means – from the intersection of psychology, neurology, and contemplative practice – for relieving distress and dysfunction, increasing well-being, and deepening mindfulness and inner peace.

We’ll focus on scientifically informed but eminently practical tools, skills, and perspectives – things you can use in the middle of daily life: on the job, in traffic, raising kids, when you’re nervous or mad, or working through a sticky conversation with your mom or your mate. For example, the next several entries in this blog will look at the power of gratitude to undo the threat reactivity of the brain, how to weave positive experiences into your brain and your self, and the three neural circuits of empathy.

With just a little understanding of your own brain, you can reach down inside the enchanted loom of your very being and gradually weave greater strength, insight, confidence, contentment, and loving intimacy into the tapestry of your life. That’s the great opportunity here: your brain is not in a bucket, it’s alive and pulsing with possibility, waiting for the skillful touch of your mind to guide it in increasingly wonderful directions.

I hope you’ll join me on this incredible journey.

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom. A summa cum laude graduate of UCLA, he teaches at universities and meditation centers in Europe, Australia, and North America. His work has been featured on the BBC and in Consumer Reports Health, U.S. News and World Report, and other major magazines.

Rick’s most recent book is Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (with Rick Mendius, M.D.; Foreword by Dan Siegel, M.D. and Preface by Jack Kornfield, Ph.D.), which has been praised by numerous scholars, therapists, and teachers, including Tara Brach, Ph.D., Roger Walsh, Ph.D., Sharon Salzberg, and Fred Luskin, Ph.D, and is being published in nine additional languages. An authority on self-directed neuroplasticity, he edits the Wise Brain Bulletin, and his articles have appeared in Tricycle Magazine, Insight Journal, and Inquiring Mind. His Your Wise Brain blog is on Huffington Post,  Psychology Today, and other major websites, and he also has a weekly e-newsletter, Just One Thing. He has a chapter – 7 Facts about the Brain That Incline the Mind to Joy – in Measuring the Immeasurable, as well as several audio programs with Sounds True. His first book was Mother Nurture: A Mother’s Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships (Penguin, 2002)

Rick is currently a trustee of Saybrook University. He also served on the board of Spirit Rock Meditation Center for nine years, and was President of the Board of FamilyWorks, a community agency. He began meditating in 1974, trained in several traditions, and leads a weekly meditation gathering in San Rafael, CA. He enjoys rock-climbing and taking a break from emails. He and his wife have two children. For more information, please see his full profile at www.RickHanson.net.

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Posted by Dr. Rick Hanson on July 9th, 2010 in General, Health | 1 comment

Vulnerable Leadership

Vulnerable and leadership are not usually two words or concepts we put together.  Most of us, myself included, have been taught that to be a “good leader” we have to be strong, convicted, and confident. “Never let ‘em see you sweat,” we’ve been told.

However, I believe it’s time for those of us who want to inspire, motivate, and lead others to step into our role as a leader with transparency, honesty, and vulnerability.  As Mother Teresa said, “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.  Be honest and transparent anyway.”

Some of us have specific leadership roles in life – we manage other people in our job, we’re the head of a company, team, committee, or organization, we’re involved in school or community activities where our job is to lead others, we write, speak, or coach other people about taking their lives to the next level, and much more.

And, even if we don’t hold a specific position of leadership in what we do, just about all of us have the opportunity to be leaders in various ways. In our families, with our friends, in our community, and in our work – we have the ability to influence others in a positive way and many of us have a deep desire to impact those around us.

What if instead of obsessing about being smart, qualified, strong, powerful, innovative, creative, and other conventional leadership qualities – we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable as a way of freeing us up from the intense pressure we often feel as leaders and as a way to influence people in an authentic way.

While it may seem counter-intuitive and can sometimes be a little scary, being a vulnerable leader is what I think is needed (and often missing) in our businesses, schools, churches, communities, governments, and our world today.

Here are some key principles of vulnerable leadership:

1) Admit and own your mistakes – We all make mistakes, especially as leaders. The more willing we are to admit and own our mistakes (not make excuses, point fingers, or avoid responsibility) the more others will trust us and want to follow our lead. Taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends for the mistakes we make are not always easy things to do, but they’re essential for us to have true credibility with the people around us.

2) Share your fear and insecurity – Fear and insecurity are inseparable from being human and being a leader. We all get scared, but too often deny or avoid it, so as not to look weak. However, admitting our fear and sharing it with others does a few important things. First of all, it can free us up from the fear itself. Second of all, it allows others to realize we’re human. Third, it gives the people around us permission to feel and express their own fear, which is essential for individuals and groups if they’re going to come together and move through adversity. Sharing our fears with others is not something we do to make excuses or to dump our “stuff” onto other people, it’s a bold act of vulnerable leadership and something that can have a profound impact on those around us.

3) Don’t take yourself too seriously – It’s important for us to have a sense of humor and not get too full of ourselves, which is something many of us do, particularly as a leader. As I jokingly say to my wife Michelle sometimes, “Do you have any idea how important I think I am?” We must laugh at ourselves, notice when we get too serious, and have enough self awareness to keep things in a healthy perspective.

4) Share your own process, journey, and challenges – We’re always going through a process of growth, discovery, and challenge in life – especially as leaders. This process doesn’t have to be difficult or painful, although sometimes it can be. The more transparent we are about our own process and the more willing we are to let the people around us know what we’re dealing with, learning, and challenged by – the more we let them know who we truly are, give them insight into how we operate, and create an environment around us that is open, authentic, and conducive for individual and collective growth.

5) Ask for and receive help from others – As leaders most of us like to help others, but often we have a difficult time asking for and receiving help. Requesting help can be perceived, especially by us, as an admission of weakness or an acknowledgment that we’re not capable of doing something. However, all of us need help and support – and in some cases, we need a lot of it. Being the kind of leader who is comfortable enough with yourself and the people around you to admit when you don’t know something, can’t do something, or simply need help in making something happen, is not a sign of weakness; it’s both a sign of strength and an opportunity to empower others in an authentic way.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Mike Robbins on July 9th, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in appreciation, authenticity, fear, gratitude, honest, Mike Robbins, motivational speaker, self help, transparency

Reality of Working

I sat at the desk looking out the large glass windows toward the street and the shops on the other side. There wasn’t a lot to do, take in payments and answer the phone and neither was busy nor constructive. It was a job in an office and I was doing what the job consisted of. Other than the money I was making I felt as though it was a waste of time. I spent most of my time looking at the clock wishing it was time to go home.

I didn’t have to work. My husband preferred that I stay at home, but that was boring, too. I needed something to do, and something to occupy my time, and this seemed to be it. Or at least it was the only thing I could think of.

At this point in my life I did not have a very good track record. I was still trying to find myself, still trying to decide on a job, and trying to decide what a job was, other than a place to receive a paycheck.

Starting at the age of 16, I had worked in retail sales for two years, worked in the catalog warehouse for a major retail store, and worked in the personnel office at a Federal Agency for a few months. None had been good choices, but they had provided a little experience.

THIS JOB

I had found this job about a mile from where we lived which allowed me to walk in good weather, since we only had one car.

I had not worked for a loan company in the past. I was somewhat familiar since we had to get a loan to buy a car, but I soon learned that working for them would be a pragmatic eyeopener.

I’ve always been good at observing, listening and making mental notes. At this job I needed all these resources. I soon discovered how things worked. My bosses needed collateral that was worth more than the loan amount. It seemed that in the back of their minds their first thought was the possibility of a default on the loan, since the interest rates were high there was a good chance the customer would not be able to make their payments, in a timely fashion. The owners made sure that the collateral was the amount they needed, so that they could repossess the item or items.

When I learned this, I knew that we were paying a higher interest on the car we bought, than if we had spent more time searching for a better and cheaper way. That was disheartening

NOW FOR THE BEST PART

Then a young couple walked in with their child. They spoke at length with the loan officer, as he made notes on a pad of paper. The next step was to hand me the piece of paper with the notes and I was to type the information on a legal contract.

They continued talking to one of the loan officers and they were about ready to sign on the dotted line. The loan officer walked out of the room, to speak with the manager and maybe to give them time to discuss the deal between them. The young couple nervously spoke and argued in an almost inaudible tone. I could tell by watching and hearing as much as I could that they were not sure this was what they wanted, but it was what they needed. They were going to do it.

I walked up to the young couple and told them, don’t do this. Walk away. The interest you are going to pay is very high. They are planning on repossessing the item, because they already have figured out that you won’t be able to make the payments. I chased them away.

Yes, they said, thank you and I was happy to know that I helped someone.

IT WASN’T MY PLACE, OH WELL!

The loan officer had been listening and he ran outside to see if he could catch the couple and bring them back to the office, but it was too late. They were gone.

Needless to say, he was very angry and on the spot he and the manager fired me. And it was a good thing, because otherwise I would have had to quit. I would not want to work in a career or for people that deceived their customers and actually hoped they would fail.

Was I sorry? Absolutely not. I felt the young couple should know the real truth before they made a decision and the loan officer was not telling the whole story.

These loan officers were concealing facts and concealing the way they do business, but it happens all the time and especially to unsuspecting people who are led by their fears. This scene is similar to situations with mortgage companies convincing people that they can afford homes that they can’t and selling them mortgages that ultimately increase interest rates and monthly payments they cannot afford.

FOR A GOOD REASON

I don’t know what happened to the young couple. Hopefully they did more research or maybe realized that saving money to buy something is the most responsible way to make purchases.

I learned to be more careful with my money. If I need to borrow, car loan or mortgage, I make sure that I understand everything, if not I ask questions. It’s reassuring to have the experience and wisdom to make better choices, even if this experience means working at lousy jobs or making mistakes.

EXERCISE

Are you wondering why you have your job? Is it the paycheck?

Have you ever watched unscrupulous actions of someone you’re doing business with?

Have you ever stood up for yourself or someone around you?

Are you willing to walk away rather than stay in an uncomfortable or dishonest situation? Even if it means giving up your paycheck?

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Posted by JoAnna Boccard on July 9th, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments

Coming Out of Survival: Stop the Blame Game and Take Total Responsibility

Stop The Blame Game and Take Total Responsibility

Stop the blame game and take total responsibility for your life. After all, it is YOUR life. In order to change your life, you must first and foremost stop blaming yourself, blaming others, and anything else and be willing to accept total responsibility for all facets of your life. You must accept total responsibility for your life because you have created all conditions of your life. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you are the Divine. You are Source. You are the Creator. You are the Supreme Being. You are the Universe. You are God in whatever form, the formless or name. As such, you are the Creator of all of your life’s experiences. So, if you’re drowning in debt, on the verge of poverty, wasting away in an unfulfilling job or career, or wasting your time or wilting in an unsatisfying relationship, you have created these conditions through thought which comes back to you as experiences that you are now living. Nothing is happening outside of you and there is no greater force outside of you.

Your world is nothing more or less then the projection of a hundred percent of your mind all the time. Therefore, you are creating everything that is happening in your life and thus, you cannot and must not blame others, your race, your gender, the economy, your job, your family, your partner and so on, for any current situation in your life. It is you, and all you. If you cannot accept the fact that you are responsible as the Creator, then you cannot change things and with certainty, things will remain the same or get worse. However, just as you’ve created all of your life experiences, as the Creator, you also have the power to uncreate anything in your life that is not working or that you do not want with one caveat; that is, you must accept total responsibility. You will see that once you’ve taken total responsibility for what’s happened or happening in your life, you immediately see that you have all the power to change things and thus invoke change.

As you accept total responsibility, do so without guilt. There is no reason for guilt and it’s also a waste of time. Why? It is a waste of time because you must understand that you have been doing the very best that you knew how based on your level of awareness, consciousness and understanding. Moreover, everything that has shown up in your life by your creation has shown up for your own personal growth, and similarly has value equal to your assuming responsibility for its existence. There is always something for you to learn in any situation; therefore, seek out the lessons and do so with gratitude. My own life did not begin to change until I took complete responsibility for the manifestations of my life and quit blaming myself, my family and let go of the guilt that I held within. The very moment I took full responsibility, insights immediately began to flow from within on how I could turn things around and start living the life I always imagined and I began to manifest change.

Once you’ve accepted total responsibility, forgive yourself, your parents and whomever else or whatever else you’ve placed blame upon and then simply let it go. Don’t hold onto it, don’t harbor over it, don’t justify it, explain it or over-analyze it; just let it go. If you don’t let it go, you can be certain that you’ll end up in similar or identical situation as we can only draw onto us more of what we already are. Never forget and always remind yourself that up until this point you’ve only been doing the very best that you knew how based on your programming, conditioning, patterning or karma. If you knew better, things would have been different, now wouldn’t they? So forgive yourself, let go and move on. To let go, simply acknowledge that you cannot change the past and you can only learn from it, so move on to the “Now” and get on with your life. Life is a gift and the only you moment you ever have is “Now”, so don’t waste your precious time living and dwelling on the past. The moment you move beyond where you are or where, the past cannot follow. So stop the blame game. It doesn’t serve you. Take responsibility, forgive, let go and take your life back.

Wani Manly

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Posted by Wani Manly on July 8th, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments

Love and Freedom

One of the defining themes of my adult life has been this something that I refer to as Love. When the universe forced me into personal crisis a few years ago, it slowly became apparent that a key issue was love. Ever since then, my life has become, in one form or another, a meditation on love:

What is love?
How do I love myself?
Why does my heart feel broken?
Will I ever feel loved?
How do I love and be loved?
Does love exist?
Is it just an idea, or is it something real?

So far, I have learned much through this meditation; I have learned much on this journey. This article is designed to help you explore the contours of love in your life, so that you can enjoy the gift that is everyone’s birthright, the gift that the universe wants to give you.

In my experience, learning to love yourself is an essential step on this path of love. It is the first step because if you hate yourself, you can’t go anywhere. But how do we love ourselves? When I was first told to love myself, I had no idea what that meant, nor how to go about it. Love myself? You might as well have been speaking a foreign language. Loving yourself does not mean that you indulge every desire, whim, or impulse. Nor does it mean that you become infatuated with yourself, per se.

Loving yourself means that you take good care of yourself. It means you get rid of all those false voices that say you are defective, incompetent, unattractive, unlovable—whatever it may be. You begin to see more clearly negative voices of conditioning, and you discover that they are nothing other than conditioning. You slowly learn to break free from them, affirming your inherent self-worth, not because you have done anything or are any particularly way. You are inherently loveable simply because you exist. It is your birthright; it is the gift of being a human being. You accept yourself as you are, and allow yourself to grow and change in the direction of greater peace and harmony.

Self-hatred creates destruction and discontent. As you learn to love yourself, you break free from these negative tendencies and learn to treat yourself with the dignity and respect that is due to every human being.

As you learn to love yourself, as your own heart heals, the natural impulse is for love to flow outward. Your relationships begin to change. You begin to share love with other people. You begin to discover that love does most certainly exist. Yet this love is not a commodity. It is not something that can be earned through merit. Love just shows up. It shows up sometimes on this path of life. You might experience it with your best friend or your lover, maybe a child, or even a parent. As you explore it, you will discover that the love is there first. The love just shows up, and then you find out why it is there.

If you have ever had a particularly close love relationship, maybe with a dear friend, you will see how this is the case. Chances are you felt an attraction, a pull, a love toward that particular person. As you get to know them more and more, you discover that the love is there for a reason. Maybe it is there to teach you something, to help you grow, to help you change. Now the fact is that love is always there, has always been there and will always be there. It is simply easier to experience in relation to other people with whom you have a heart connection.

The biggest challenge with love for most people is the desire to cling, the desire to keep this something that we call love. Yet continual change is the nature of everything. So you must learn to relax on this path of love. You must learn to relax and allow love to come and go, to ebb and flow as it may. In this way, love can lead you to greater and greater freedom. You enjoy being with your friends, your family, your lover, but you also know how to be alone. When you are together, there is love. When you are alone, there is also love. You let everyone be free to do as they may. You are free to be as you are; to do as you do. They are free to be as they are; to do as they do. When you come together, it is a beautiful sharing. When you are apart, it is also lovely. You learn to float with the tide of love, coming and going, enjoying and relaxing.

You slowly learn to love the love. You learn to follow the love. If love leads you into yourself for a while, go there. If love leads you to particular people for some time, go there. If it then leads you elsewhere, just follow the love. For ultimately, you are love itself, only most of us do not know it. As you learn to follow love, you discover that it always guides you, teaches you, and informs you.

In speaking of love in relationships, one of my beloved spiritual teachers, Sri Nisargaddatta Maharaj said the following:

“You are neither the husband nor the wife. You are the love between the two.”

Allow your life to be a journey, an exploration. Inquire into this something called love; this force that permeates everything. Explore it within yourself; explore it outside of yourself. Follow it where it leads you, and you are guaranteed to learn something that you don’t already know. You are guaranteed to learn something about life, about love, about yourself, and about everyone else.

May love fill your heart always.

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Visit: sarahmaria.com and BreakFreeBeauty.com to learn more.

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Posted by Sarah Maria on July 5th, 2010 in Health, Personal Stories, Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in dignity, how to love yourself more