First 30 Days Blog

15 dec

Breakup Tips to Help You Move Forward with Your Life

Going through a breakup is, unfortunately, something that a majority of people will experience within their lifetime. Whether it’s the breakup of a marriage or the breakup of a long-term relationship, losing the person you love – your best friend – can feel like the end of the world.

In some people, that feeling of loss can lead to anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. We all know that it takes time to repair a broken heart, and I believe that it’s what you do in that time that will cause you to come out of this ordeal a bitter person or a better person. Here are some exercises that you can work through in order to emerge from your breakup a happier, healthier you!

1) Throw yourself a pity party. Get some ice cream and eat your heart out, then get sentimental and cry your eyes out. It’s actually good for you. A recent study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, shows that after crying, your breathing and heart rate slow, which puts you into a relaxed state. So let it all out! It’ll help.

2) Erase. Don’t chase. Delete your ex’s number from your phone, text messages, emails, IM-buddy list, Facebook and any other social networking sites. The less contact you have with your ex, the less anxiety you’ll feel and the sooner you’ll heal. (If you have children, you obviously can’t lose your ex’s number or email, however, you can remove him from your social networking sites).

3) Rally the troops. Give friends and family the green light to visit you at home, or accept their invites to go out. And while you’re with them – talk to them. A recent study by the University of Michigan shows that social interaction can help curb depression.

4) Join an online support network. If you feel as if your friends and family have grown weary of lending a supportive shoulder, sign up for a support site like the one at BrokenHeartedGirl.com where you can share your story with other men and women who are experiencing the same pain or have overcome it. Giving and receiving advice can push open the doors to healing.

5) Don’t self-destruct. Reconstruct:

-Work extra hours at your job to get that promotion you’ve always wanted
-If you are not happy in your current job, update your resume and apply for a new job
-Go back to school
-Volunteer and do something that you’re passionate about
-Indulge in a hobby

6) Beat depression with a notebook. Use a guided journal like The Breakup Workbook, or simply grab a notebook and start with a pro/con list and go from there. A journal can show you where you’ve been and can be the place where you draw up the plan that gets you where you want to go.

7) Stick to a routine. Emotional upset can seriously mess with your daily routine. Set your alarm and wake up at the same time every day. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. No skipping meals! Put aside time to pamper yourself. Go to bed by a specific time. The more structure you have in your life, the easier it will be to stay healthy and positive.

8) Ask for help. If you’re having difficulty accepting the breakup, or you feel that depression is taking over your life, seek a therapist. If your insurance plan doesn’t cover it and money is tight, check online or call your local hospital for a list of free mental health services or support groups. Some therapists have a sliding scale. And if none of that works, you can always call a toll-free hotline from the comfort of your own home.

MJ Acharya is a freelance copywriter living in Boston, MA. She is the founder of www.brokenheartedgirl.com. Her common sense breakup advice has been featured online at first30days.com, examiner.com, boston24.com in print published by The Oakland Press, Hour Detroit Magazine, Strut Magazine, Sassy and on television shows, such as, Canada AM. To contact her, please visit www.thebreakupworkbook.com.

Posted by M J Acharya on December 15th, 2009 in Family, Relationships | 0 comments

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