First 30 Days Blog

27 aug

Through the Storm

Over the past 60 days I have cried more than I have ever cried in my 31 years on this Earth. There were 7 straight days where different things happened and I couldn’t explain why it was happening but was overwhelmed. I cried on the phone with friends, cried in front of friends, and cried in front of my daughters.

I have been through my share of storms in my life but nothing like this. Now I know why, I had to go through all of that to get back to where I needed and in my heart wanted to be; with God. The biggest issue I had to face was forgiving myself for everything I had done to people in the past and most of all what I had done to myself.

I have signs on a daily basis that everything is going to work itself out if I simply believe what God say he would do and be patient. Patience has never been my strong point, but I am learning to be patient. Now when I see signs to let me know he is still working in that area all I can do is smile.

All of the helpful words I use to have for everybody else I had to finally use on myself. I have spent so much of my time worrying about others that when I actually sat down to discuss myself with myself I found myself speechless. I finally know my true purpose is to help others and I will know what type of help they need by simply doing what I always have done ” Listening.” The only difference now I help myself as well.

Shared by deshawncoleman.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 27th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

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2 Comments

  • Hello there,
    I do not have any ways to judge or know what happens with you and really is not necessary at all to know the details.
    But what I can say to you, based on myself is that the most divine and difficult path concerning ourSELF is giving us a chance to have a space in the world, a place to be authentic and to really listen our heart. When we try to be ourselves we fear that others will judge us and may not like us at all anymore. And you know why? Because people who passes much time helping others are generally not much aware of its own needs and finally the others think that we are completely happy, with no wishes or problems or things that hurt us, after all, we were always nice to everybody and not much authentic with our heart…
    But it is worthy to change all and start to give more importance to what we really want and want to be. It needs courage even to lose this Status of nice helpers and non problematic and practically perfect person we always had after all we always were reasonable, nice, gentle, etc.
    As you said we can continue being reasonable, nice, gentle, etc but now looking at us as well.
    Well, I am still in the beginning of my own new way to be and I do wish you go well, accepting your limits in relation of being too much nice to others and giving a chance to your own deep dreams and to your heart…

    Shared by apasquali.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. Out of every experience, good comes: this must be an article of faith. God never challenges us with anything he does not believe we can handle – and emerge as a stronger person the other side. Letting these waves of despair wash over you, acknowledging your grief and anguish and recognising your despair is, I believe, the first step towards healing. Eventually you will find a firm stone in this maelstrom on which you can put your weight, and pick yourself up, to emerge better and stronger than ever before. And even more able to have a beneficial effect on those in your life.

    Shared by hopeisland.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009

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