Archive for August, 2009

Yeah…It Has Been A Lot

I have heard that the four most stressful things you can go through in life are: marriage, death of a loved one, moving (especially out of state), and divorce.
I went through all of these within a four month period last year. To kick it up a notch I decided to try to forget the marriage, cross-country move, and divorce and move to a new state again.
I have done all of this with my amazing 16 year old daughter.
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Posted by First 30 Days on August 10th, 2009 in Personal Stories | No comments

Live in the Moment

I’m not really sure where to start. I’ve never done anything like this before because I’m a very private person, and have always tried to solve any hurdles in my life by myself. But I write today in the hopes to help someone else who may be going through something similar – and to let them know you are NOT alone. By talking about your changes, you will jump any hurdle.
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Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 4 comments

College at 40

I am looking at college this semester fall 2009. I haven’t had to study since high school which is aways ago. I quit my job and am currently trying to figure out how I am going to learn good study habits and take care of a four year old with the ADD I am prone to. Distractions abound, I am still going to try. Anyone else starting over at 40 with a learning disability counting against them?

Shared by Amanda2U.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

HOW DO I TRUST SOMEONE WHO HAS LIED TO ME

I AM GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE AND MY STEP DAUGHTER WHO SAYS SHE LOVES ME AND SAYS SHE CONSIDERS ME HER MOM (HER MOM DIED WHEN SHE WAS 6 YEARS OLD). I HAVE CAUGHT HER IN SEVERAL LIES AND SHE HAS ADMITTED THAT SHE HAS BEEN SPYING FOR HER DAD. HE WAS THE ONE WHO HAD AN AFFAIR AND EMOTIONALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSED ME. I AM MORE FINANCIALLY SECURE THAN HE IS SO WHENEVER I PURCHASED SOMETHING NEW OR DO SOMETHING TO MY HOME SHE TELLS HIM. I HAVE TO KEEP THE COMMUNICATION OPEN WITH HER BECAUSE OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER BUT IT IS HARD TO BE AROUND HER AND ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ON “GUARD” FOR WHAT I DO AND SAY. HER AUNT SAYS THINGS WILL BE BETTER ONCE THE DIVORCE IS FINAL BECAUSE SHE IS SURE HE IS ASKING HER TO DO THIS “SPYING” AND EVENTUALLY MY STEP DAUGHTER WILL REALIZE IT. BUT IN THE MEANTIME HOW DO I TRUST HER? OR DON’T I?

Shared by: cmartini.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 1 comment

I want to find ME

I want to find me! I have always been the daughter, the girlfriend, the friend, the sister and now the mother. I have never been ME! I have now been living as a single mother for 9 3/4 years and I have put my heart and sole into my beautiful DD – but in the process I lost me even more! I forgot how to LIVE for me….. I want to LIVE FOR ME so that I can LIVE better for everyone around me. I have let myself go – I have gained weight – I have become old and grumpy! I DON’T want to be this way anymore! * I HATE my job * I want a job I can LOVE * I have no life unless it involves my DD * I want a life with her not for her * I love my family but they are more disfunctional that any family I have ever seen they are mean and unhappy towards each other * I want to help me so I can help them!* I will make little changes to help all of these things along the way! Step One – I will lose 1/3 the weight I need to lose by the end of the month…. step two stay tuned.

Shared by KyliesMom.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

It’s never too late

spent my life becoming what everyone expected of me, giving up what I wanted for me. Literally, I gave up my soul.
I had wanted to be a fashion/costume designer and planned to attend a design college after high school. At that point my parents decided that I would not. They panicked and called my school and having the principal, vice principal, etc. intervene in my plans. They proceeded to force me into going to a business University. I couldn’t. I knew I would die in the boredom of doing something completely opposite of what I wanted.

I then had to make another choice. I settled for whatever was left and that was to get a job. Then followed marriage and children and many more jobs. Nothing was satisfying or fulfilling.

I married and divorced twice and kept getting different jobs, just to make money and there was never enough money. I learned to struggle, to not have enough, to just barely get by.

Now I know the choice I made was all that I had, but it was not the right choice. I lived with it for many, many years. I also know that I am one the unique people who cannot work for someone else and knowing this is good, but I needed to do something about it. I am independent, a free-spirit. I cherish my freedom, but I did not know what to do.

I finally decided to discover the talents that I had. I took acting, voice, watercolor, fashion modeling, and dance classes trying to find the things that I loved and could do well. I had forever given up on fashion design, never even gave it a thought. Writing was something that just happened as I plucked out the beginning of several novels and a self-help book.

I contacted a writing teacher who informed me that I was very talented and should not try to edit, don’t take a writing class, not even his. At this time it would slow me down. He told me to do nothing, but write, write and write.

Now my writing comes not from imagination needed for novels, but more from being a philosopher and using my wisdom to share with others.

Then I found the dance classes and dancing on stage were the most enjoyable and breathtaking. I love to dance more than life itself and by my instructors I am told that I am a very good dancer. It’s very possible that I started too late, although I try very hard not to believe this, to become a professional dancer.

So now, still being uncertain, I seem to be bothered and betwixed with making a choice. Do I continue writing? Do I dream even harder about being a dancer and against all odds believe it can happen? Do I go back to my childhood dream of being a fashion/costume designer?

I’ve worked in low-paying office and degrading and demeaning retail jobs. I know I cannot continue this way, but the change seems overwhelming and because of the messages I received from my parents and those around me I feel as though I am betraying them.

I, right now, believe I can write, but I seem to feel frightened and find ways to procrastinate until I give up. I also know I must continue to dance, but maybe that is just for me.

Changing from a woman who cowers behind those who intimidate me, working in jobs that leave me feeling worthless to the free-spirit I know I am is the biggest task I’ve ever taken on.

So, maybe, after sharing this with you I will believe that I am a writer, that I can philosophize intelligently, that the wisdom I’ve gained in life will be a benefit for those who read my writing. Instead of regretting the choices I’ve made I realize that they were setting me up to be someone who teaches others.

This is a brief portion of this part of my life and is to be a part of my book. That is if I can continue to write it, which I now believe I can.

I welcome comments and advice.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.

JoAnna
joanna-b@peoplepc.com

Shared by: JustBecauseBiz.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

Going home at 53

After living in the Midwest for almost 30 years, I’ve decided to quit my job in order to move back to California to look after my parents and be closer to my children. I’m excited and scared all at once: in this economy, there’s a good chance I’ll be on “early retirement,” especially as many of my friends who are in their 50s and have been laid off have said it’s impossible to find a job when you’re competing with kids just out of college. I’m also saying goodbye to wonderful friends who in many ways have been closer to me than family.

But when my husband died 10 years ago, disappointed with his life and his career, I realized that life is too short to let your fears hold you back. He felt trapped in a job that he hated but paid very well and allowed him to not only support his family but take ski vacations in Colorado and drive a new car every other year.

I wish I could tell him now those things aren’t important. The job I currently work at has also become suffocating and unpleasant to go to (we have a new supervisor with no experience in dealing with people and who imposes arbitrary rules on even things like going to the restroom); and while I don’t doubt someone else would be more than happy to take my job, I feel like I’ve hit a ceiling. I want to grow, but my workplace isn’t going to encourage that.

I also know my parents, who are in their late 80s, are not going to around for much longer, so I want to use this time to get to know them again. Being on the West Coast will also allow me to be of more help to my kids, who are young adults but who still need a hand now and then. I’ve read the newspapers and watched the news shows enough to know California’s economy is even worst than where I live now: but strangely, I feel optimistic about this move. Some of it could be from thinking “It can’t get any worst” (lol) but another part of me says “This is the right thing to do now.”

More importantly, for the first time in a long while, I feel good about myself.

Shared by stpauligirl.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | No comments

I found my passion but . . .

In the last year I have been downsized from two jobs, one I had been with for nine years and other for 8 months. With all the downsizing, I started writing resumes for others to help them. I have been writing resumes for over ten years for friends and family but I never wrote for people that I did not know. I have found an unbelievable joy in writing those resumes – it has become a passion where I totally loose myself into their resume. I read the resume through and then I intuitively write a profile about them. I feel it – I just know that this is what they have to offer and I put it into words. People tend not to want to brag or over sell themselves but I can do that for them. I sense their talents and I find those “magic” words to transfer their skills onto paper. I totally lose myself in the resume and hours will pass. I am so grateful for this talent – I just wish I knew how to make it my life’s work. I don’t know where to start – I have never run a business. I am at trainer by profession and I love doing that but resume writing is where my heart finds its joy.

Shared by toots8850.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 1 comment

Fear of Failure/Success

feel as though most of my life I have failed at the things I tried. I failed at my first marriage, and my second is headed in the same direction. I get fired up and enthusiastic about things I want to do and achieve but then allow other things to get in my way of reaching those goals.
I am studying homoeopathy, acupressure, and just completed my Level 1 Reiki. I am convinced that these alternative healing methods will help my family and others and believe that this is my passion but I still have doubts as to my ability to carry this off…to actually reach my goal of becoming a fully qualified and capable practitioner.
I always felt that I was the one child in my family that constantly let my parents down. That I did not meet their expectations.The only one who chose NOT to go to university; the only one who chose to homeschool her 4 children; the only one who believes that true “organic” and alternative medical methods is important to a healthier world but the rest of the family is very “follow the doctor’s orders” kind of people and that only the “professional” people know what they are talking about. In other words, if you don’t have a “degree” you don’t know anything.
So I have always struggled with feeling accepted by my own family and in the back of my mind I think their influence although I don’t agree, sits heavily in my mind.
I want to start my own practice and probably end this marriage in which I am quite miserable.

Shared by haygirl.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

Career Change

In 2005 I was involuntarily separated from a career I’d been in for 25 years. There aren’t employers offering that career path in the area I live in, so my choices were to move or stay where I am and pursue other jobs/careers. I chose the latter. Although it’s been a little tough financially (I’ve made some lifestyle changes), I would have to say that I’ve enjoyed the variety of jobs I’ve had and they’ve been good experiences–but not job security. I thought I finally had some job security when I accepted a job 8 months ago. However, the company had a layoff a couple of months ago and another one last month, and once again I’m finding myself without a full-time job. Fortunately, I kept my part-time job and have temporarily been able to pick up additional hours there to help make ends meet–but I don’t expect the additional hours to last. The path I’m exploring is working part-time to pay the bills and returning to school for a certificate program, and I’m hoping to receive financial aid. The certificate is for a profession in health care, and the profession is “portable” (in demand in lots of locations). I’m nervous, but excited!

Shared by LYNNCZ.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | No comments