First 30 Days Blog

09 aug

Going home at 53

After living in the Midwest for almost 30 years, I’ve decided to quit my job in order to move back to California to look after my parents and be closer to my children. I’m excited and scared all at once: in this economy, there’s a good chance I’ll be on “early retirement,” especially as many of my friends who are in their 50s and have been laid off have said it’s impossible to find a job when you’re competing with kids just out of college. I’m also saying goodbye to wonderful friends who in many ways have been closer to me than family.

But when my husband died 10 years ago, disappointed with his life and his career, I realized that life is too short to let your fears hold you back. He felt trapped in a job that he hated but paid very well and allowed him to not only support his family but take ski vacations in Colorado and drive a new car every other year.

I wish I could tell him now those things aren’t important. The job I currently work at has also become suffocating and unpleasant to go to (we have a new supervisor with no experience in dealing with people and who imposes arbitrary rules on even things like going to the restroom); and while I don’t doubt someone else would be more than happy to take my job, I feel like I’ve hit a ceiling. I want to grow, but my workplace isn’t going to encourage that.

I also know my parents, who are in their late 80s, are not going to around for much longer, so I want to use this time to get to know them again. Being on the West Coast will also allow me to be of more help to my kids, who are young adults but who still need a hand now and then. I’ve read the newspapers and watched the news shows enough to know California’s economy is even worst than where I live now: but strangely, I feel optimistic about this move. Some of it could be from thinking “It can’t get any worst” (lol) but another part of me says “This is the right thing to do now.”

More importantly, for the first time in a long while, I feel good about myself.

Shared by stpauligirl.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 0 comments

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