First 30 Days Blog

15 jul

Fork in the Road

I’m ready for change. I have been a stay-at-home mom for 12 years I have 3 wonderful boys. See my husband lost his job 3 years ago & his parents have been paying all our bills, which is a lot. 3 boys in private school, insurance, you name it. My husband’s parents said they would pay our bills in hopes that my husband would get a job without them having to tell him. Instead they have asked me to get a job so that he can stay home. I already do all the cooking, cleaning, manage the money, take care of the boy’s school activities. I do not have a partner. I’m doing it by myself anyway. I want to find a job, get a divorce, and find someone to share my life, and help set a good example for the boys.

Shared by Tonya5.

Posted by First 30 Days on July 15th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

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2 Comments

  • Dear Tonya,
    Your story resonated with me very strongly. I was also a single mother and though not really “known” by my community at the time, was actually separated during my second pregnancy (though he still lived in the house and still lived off of me). To make it more interesting, it was a high-risk pregnancy and I was on disability and SUPPOSED to be on bed-rest (ha).
    What did I learn? Everything! Starting with how to become my own best friend and to find the kernel of self-love that I needed to keep me moving day after day, one foot in front of the other.
    I am happy to lend my support and energy to you during what will be one of the most challenging and yet, most inspiring times of your life.
    I have no doubt that you will find the internal strength, fortitude and vision needed to move your life with your sons forward.
    My first bit of advice is to find a good friend or mentor who can be there to lend emotional support as well as practical advice. Secondly, find something very sacred and special that you can read, listen to or watch on a regular basis. One of my personal favorites was a CD a friend gave me by songwriter John Bucchino entitled Grateful. I listened to the title track every single day for MONTHS. Today, it still reminds me of who and where I was.
    When you are ready, you will find the right job and the ability to stand up for yourself (which will include standing up for yourself with your husband as well as his parents!). Be clear with yourself and then you can be clear with them about the expectations that they hold and what you feel is appropriate or not.
    When the dust settles you will discover your first new love will be yourself. From this will flow everything else.
    Keep us updated here too.
    Blessings and light.
    DivaMama

    Shared by DivaMama.

    — Added by admin on August 24th, 2009
  • Here’s a great step you have already taken, you’ve set some goals! My advise, write them down, get specific and set deadlines. You never know, you’re initiative to have clear, set goals could rub off on your hubby!

    Shared by TaniCO.

    — Added by admin on August 24th, 2009

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