Comments on: Clifornia Dreaming… http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/ A blog dedicated to helping you change your life positively. Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:13:35 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-60 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:02:08 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-60 Julie, when I read your story, I can't help but think of times in my life when I did things I felt ambivalent about, things that everyone said were pleasurable or "really cool" but that I didn't really care about. Of course, I didn't figure this out until a few years later. In the end it didn't matter what people thought. The bottom line was this. When I figured out I shouldn't do things I felt ambivalent about, I was able to concentrate on the things I loved. And some of those things were just plain old mundane, day-to-day things at and around home. Anyway, that's just a thought. Shared by cobber. Julie, when I read your story, I can’t help but think of times in my life when I did things I felt ambivalent about, things that everyone said were pleasurable or “really cool” but that I didn’t really care about. Of course, I didn’t figure this out until a few years later. In the end it didn’t matter what people thought. The bottom line was this. When I figured out I shouldn’t do things I felt ambivalent about, I was able to concentrate on the things I loved. And some of those things were just plain old mundane, day-to-day things at and around home. Anyway, that’s just a thought.

Shared by cobber.

]]> By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-59 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:01:30 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-59 Thank you Cobber, I appreciate your thoughts. I often wonder if I am pursuing things because I think they're cool or because others think they're cool. It's funny how much what other's think can influence one's decisions. Shared by Starryskai. Thank you Cobber, I appreciate your thoughts. I often wonder if I am pursuing things because I think they’re cool or because others think they’re cool. It’s funny how much what other’s think can influence one’s decisions.

Shared by Starryskai.

]]> By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-58 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:00:50 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-58 Hi Julie, I'm a fellow Massachusetts girl, I can relate to alot of what you said...but there's always going to be something in your life that will keep you from going out to California and pursuing a dream of yours. If you don't go, one day you may wake up and regret it. Yes, moving across the country can been seen as a scary thing..what are you going to do for a job, where are you going to live, will I make friends like I have at home etc. I asked myself all those same questions before I decided to move from Boston to Austin. I actually had wanted to move to Colorado about 4 years ago but let my fears and anxieties hold me back. This time I didn't, I decided in January I was moving to Austin and 10 days later I was down here. Everything has worked out for me, yes there were tough times and lonely days... but I've been here for 6 months, I like my job and I'm learning ALOT about myself, what I'm capable of, what I want out of life, and who I am. I am so happy here and I feel like this is where I belong. It's possible to do it. Use your network, start talking to friends/acquaintences and see if they know people out there that may be able to help you. You're only a plane ride away. Good luck! Shared by ashkwheeler. Hi Julie,
I’m a fellow Massachusetts girl, I can relate to alot of what you said…but there’s always going to be something in your life that will keep you from going out to California and pursuing a dream of yours. If you don’t go, one day you may wake up and regret it.
Yes, moving across the country can been seen as a scary thing..what are you going to do for a job, where are you going to live, will I make friends like I have at home etc. I asked myself all those same questions before I decided to move from Boston to Austin. I actually had wanted to move to Colorado about 4 years ago but let my fears and anxieties hold me back. This time I didn’t, I decided in January I was moving to Austin and 10 days later I was down here. Everything has worked out for me, yes there were tough times and lonely days… but I’ve been here for 6 months, I like my job and I’m learning ALOT about myself, what I’m capable of, what I want out of life, and who I am. I am so happy here and I feel like this is where I belong.
It’s possible to do it. Use your network, start talking to friends/acquaintences and see if they know people out there that may be able to help you.
You’re only a plane ride away. Good luck!

Shared by ashkwheeler.

]]> By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-57 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:00:18 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-57 Thank you so much ashkwheeler! It's so great to hear from someone who actually did it! I feel boosted by your story, and I appreciate it so much! Shared by Starryskai. Thank you so much ashkwheeler! It’s so great to hear from someone who actually did it! I feel boosted by your story, and I appreciate it so much!

Shared by Starryskai.

]]> By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-56 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:59:47 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-56 Hi Starryskai - I'm a California Girl, so I'm a bit partial to enjoying the West Coast weather, but more than that, I totally understand your dilemma. The other responders have given good insight. As a life coach, one thing I realize is that the only reason we don't do something we "think" we really want to do is because we associate far more pain to doing the thing than "not" doing the thing. Pain can take a lot of forms - it can be the pain of leaving behind family members (as you shared earlier), it can be fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of being ridiculed or ostracized by people we love. So, even though you've dreamed of moving to California for so long, I would bet that if you really sit and think about it, some of the issues I raised above might be at play. So here's my suggestion to you: 1) Think about WHY you've wanted to go to California for so long. Someone mentioned it in an earlier post. Is this your own personal motivation, something you think you "should" do, or is it someone else dreams. For years, I pursued a career that I absolutely hated just because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I thought it was the ONLY way that I could be successful and support my family. No one ever told me that, so there was no one to blame; it was just my perception of what a successful woman did. One day I literally just quit and never looked back, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. The point again is that I realized the goal was not of my own true motivation, even though I had adopted it as my own for so long. 2) Imagine your life 1 year from now, then 5 years from now. How are you going to feel if you DON'T move to California in 1 year, in 5 years? What will you have gained by staying in New England versus the experiences will you miss out on? How will you feel about yourself by not making the change? On the flip side, if you DO move, what will you have gained by moving to California. What experiences will you have? Do you see yourself as a better, happier, more vibrant person? Will you be more authentic? Think about what changes you will see in 1 year, then in 5. How will it affect your love life, your friendships, your joy level, etc.? This goes beyond a pro and con list. This is really about identifying how much pleasure or enjoyment you will have by making a decision and how much pain or discomfort you will have by not making a decision. Neither decision is wrong, but through this process, you will get very clear on which decision will fire you up more and get you living at the heights of life! And that, my friend, is what life is all about. This process will help bring some structure to your intuition, so that it can perhaps speak to you in an even clearer way. I hope this was helpful and i wish you all the best! Please keep us posted on what you decide. NessagirlDC Shared by nessagirldc Hi Starryskai –
I’m a California Girl, so I’m a bit partial to enjoying the West Coast weather, but more than that, I totally understand your dilemma. The other responders have given good insight. As a life coach, one thing I realize is that the only reason we don’t do something we “think” we really want to do is because we associate far more pain to doing the thing than “not” doing the thing. Pain can take a lot of forms – it can be the pain of leaving behind family members (as you shared earlier), it can be fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of being ridiculed or ostracized by people we love. So, even though you’ve dreamed of moving to California for so long, I would bet that if you really sit and think about it, some of the issues I raised above might be at play. So here’s my suggestion to you:
1) Think about WHY you’ve wanted to go to California for so long. Someone mentioned it in an earlier post. Is this your own personal motivation, something you think you “should” do, or is it someone else dreams. For years, I pursued a career that I absolutely hated just because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I thought it was the ONLY way that I could be successful and support my family. No one ever told me that, so there was no one to blame; it was just my perception of what a successful woman did. One day I literally just quit and never looked back, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. The point again is that I realized the goal was not of my own true motivation, even though I had adopted it as my own for so long.
2) Imagine your life 1 year from now, then 5 years from now. How are you going to feel if you DON’T move to California in 1 year, in 5 years? What will you have gained by staying in New England versus the experiences will you miss out on? How will you feel about yourself by not making the change? On the flip side, if you DO move, what will you have gained by moving to California. What experiences will you have? Do you see yourself as a better, happier, more vibrant person? Will you be more authentic? Think about what changes you will see in 1 year, then in 5. How will it affect your love life, your friendships, your joy level, etc.?
This goes beyond a pro and con list. This is really about identifying how much pleasure or enjoyment you will have by making a decision and how much pain or discomfort you will have by not making a decision. Neither decision is wrong, but through this process, you will get very clear on which decision will fire you up more and get you living at the heights of life! And that, my friend, is what life is all about. This process will help bring some structure to your intuition, so that it can perhaps speak to you in an even clearer way.
I hope this was helpful and i wish you all the best! Please keep us posted on what you decide.
NessagirlDC

Shared by nessagirldc

]]> By: admin http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2009/07/clifornia-dreaming%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-55 admin Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:59:14 +0000 http://stagingblog.first30days.com/?p=559#comment-55 Hi NessagirlDC, Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me! It truly means so much! Thank you for your advice, I will do what you suggest and see where it takes me. Shared by Starryskai. Hi NessagirlDC,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me! It truly means so much! Thank you for your advice, I will do what you suggest and see where it takes me.

Shared by Starryskai.

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