First 30 Days Blog

27 apr

Alone and Depressed

hi, i am a retired 53 year old female. my 65 year old husband died in 2005, then my 45 year old boyfriend died in 2008, both to cancer. i was the caregiver. i am drained and depressed. i don’t sleep much and have to take medication to help me sleep which does not work very well. i have gone to support groups, etc. i need to find something that will give me a purpose in life. i also have been taking medication for panic attacks, anxiety since i was in high school. i would like to volunteer or help others but am scared and having a hard time even thinking about getting started. taking the first step is hard but i have to do something. i live in a retirement community in florida that has alot of activities and volunteer organizations but the thought of going out there and interacting with a bunch of strangers makes me nervous, so i have to take more medication which i don’t like. any suggestions? please don’t suggest anything to do with cancer as i have too many bad memories and still can’t focus on the good times. thank you.

Shared by jayneg.

Posted by First 30 Days on April 27th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 5 comments

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5 Comments

  • If you like animals, then working at an animal shelter maybe perfect for you. Animals give unconditional love and just getting out and working will help your self confidence. Then you can do other types of volunteer work and use your experience at the shelter as a talking point. Good luck!

    Shared by nh5712.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • i am 33years old. i can make friends by they are younger, and some my age, but they or dating or married. and when we go out. i am the 3wheel because i don’t have a date or i am by my self. and it lonely. and depressing some time. so i wish i can find some guy to date some day. and will not be the 3rd wheel any more. for i can go out and have fun with my friends. your friend mandy b.e.

    Shared by viloet.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • You are a rare treasure! I noticed that you said you are a caregiver and that you still want to find a way to help others. In my book you are an Earth Angel. Anyone who is gifted with your presence is blessed. Often for purposes and ways unknown.
    The thing about being a caregiver is that we very often forget to love and care for ourselves in the process. It is so very easy to do so for others but when it comes to ourselves we struggle. we are so used to putting the needs of others before our own.
    Take this time to care,pamper and love yourself. When you are ready you will venture out and be a blessing to many others. I have a feeling that when the time is right they may find their way to you.

    Shared by angelblu.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • I also want to say sorry for the loss of your love ones. You are a special person to have found love twice in your life time. I haven’t found Mr. right yet and I will be 50 in October. I suffer from depression and generalize anxiety disorder and take meds to help me get out of bed every day. I also agree with f30d about getting out and getting some exercise, something you enjoy will help you get out of the house and around people. You might be scared at first because you don’t no any one, and that is okay…because you will have something in common with others…the class you are taking. And it doesn’t have to be a exercise class it could be a hobby like cooking, a book club etc. I have wasted years of my life being scared to take risks, now I wish that I have been able to take more risks and try new things. Please Jayneg you have to do this for your self and only you, you can live the rest of your life lonely, depressed and scared and for what? I have been there done that…now I get out and enjoy life more…I jog, go to the gym, I took golf lessons and it is a good way to at lease interact with people. By the way…I have met some really great people. You will find that people are kind and enjoy meeting new people and I no from the two love ones that were in your life that you most be a wonderful, caring, loving, fun individual…so step out and start living again, enjoy life to its fullest because it is short…as you are aware of. I am sure your husband and your boyfriend would like for you to adventure on with your life. I be leave there is no try…just do! I tell my self that every time I become to scared to try something new in my life…just do it! What do I have to lose? Nothing…but I gain a get deal. Please let me no how things work out for you…and start by thinking of something of interest to you…get information, then attend. Good luck…I no you can do this!!!

    Shared by Cleopatra.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • Hi, first of all I am sorry for your losses. I read an article on the effects of medicine for stress and anxiety, and they compared it to the effects of exercise. Exercise won, so my suggestion is to do what your doctor says regarding the meds, but also try moving more. I would suggest joining a dance class if you like to dance, bowling, aerobics, yoga, or even a walking club. Any of those will force you to be active and hopefully not only fill the void in your life that you have but give you meaning and a direction for the future. Good Luck! Your friends from f30d! P.S. My 83 year old aunt lost her husband 25 years ago and she is now having a big wedding in August. I look to her for inspiration. You can borrow my aunt too! :)

    Shared by carlabeau.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009

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