First 30 Days Blog

12 dec

Love Lost Love Found Love Lost

I married my high-school sweetheart in the 60′ and we where married a short five and ahalf years before we divorced. I was devestated because he had been unfaithful and at the time could not get over it.

We when on with our lives in different parts of the country. Each of us raised a child through yet another divorce.

I on my part decided marriage just wasn’t met to me after my son turned eleven and therefore spent the next twenty years alone….we’ll not alone because I had and have my family, friends and faith. However, I was perfectly contented without a spouse. Oh, there was the occasional time when I would think, gee it would be nice to have someone to share my everyday with or go to dinner, a movie. But for the most part I kept my life full and could never say I was bored or lonely.

Then one day I was on Classmates.com and there was a message from my ex-husband, my lost love. Of couse I had thought of him over the years and wondered how he was fairing and longingly wondering at time whether we could have work out thing if we had sought out councelling, etc. Anyway, we started email and calling each other and decided that we really would love to reconnect. He had kept all of the album of music we loved, my love letters from his Marine Corp. day, video tapes of our times at parties, etc., etc. I really fell into the trap of thinking, gee maybe we could make a new and better life together. Mine you I am now sixty two and he is now sixty three and so we thought for the rest of our lives let just reconnect and start all over again, so to speak.

I little problem, he does not and will not except the fact that I have a grown son that is living with me. It doesn’t matter why at this point, but this was the reason everything started to unravel. I tried reasoning with him as to why and so on and so forth but he was adamant about the fact that I needed to kick my son out of the house. I have no reason to do that he isn’t disrupting my life. There was a need and I would care who asked, if there was a need and I could help I would. I feel the same why about someone stopping my at say dinner time. You can always make anything stretch to another one or two. It’s a blessing to be able to share with less fortunates.

Anyway, we have had probably our last conversation last evening. I know I’m going to be ok but after so many years along a really let myself get caught up in the belief that you can go back and of course we are alway taught you can go back.

Any advise or comments is appreciated. I know this is going to hurt for a long time.

Shared by arabrab.

Posted by First 30 Days on December 12th, 2008 in Personal Stories | 8 comments

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8 Comments

  • Guess what! We got married. On March 6th 2009 at a Justice of the Peace. We are extremely happy. And no it isn’t just the Honeymoon Stage…We know who we are now and didn’t all those years ago. We have the best of each other now….Our children are coming to grips with the whole thing and are happy for us.

    Shared by arabrab.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • After some very long conversations the love of my life and I have decided that we will be together and have committed for the rest of our lives. We talked one day about the need to have time to work it all out and we are taking one day at a time. We have a plan and will stick to it. We will be remarried in just a couple of months and everything is working it’s self our because we communicated to all parties involved and are working on a plan to make our dreams come true. Wish me luck and happiness.

    Shared by arabrab.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • Thanks aliciak for your response. We are still talking and still trying to plan a future together. A lot of religions accept and encourage it as well. Anyway, I’m still hoping all will work out.

    Shared by arabrab.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • Wow, what a story, but yes, I’m curious why your son being there is a big issue. Anywhere outside the U.S., and living with your parents is perfectly normal and acceptable and encouraged! Why such a big deal here…
    I hope it works out!!!

    Shared by aliciak.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • I know, he’s adament about needing the time to reconnect without outside confusion and we have had several discussions about this. I understand where he’s coming from to a degree but time will tell if things work out. I’ll I know is that I am madly in love with this person and if it is meant to be it will happen. With my son, that is what it is, we helped each other out through a really bad financial situation and now he is ready to have a life of his own. He wants my happiness and I want him to be content and happy. Thanks for your comment VictoriaB.

    Shared by arabrab.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • ‘m having a hard time understanding where he is coming from : ( Someone who saved your love letters but is keeping himself from happiness and companionship. As a parent I would hope he would understand why you want to help your son …
    I guess I will never understand men!

    Shared by VictoriaB.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • Thanks Springshine. I appreciate your comments. You know, we are still talking but it’s going nowhere. Even his brother is trying to tell him that he’s to stuborn. Anyway, we’ll see. Thanks again.
    arabrab

    Shared by arabrab.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009
  • How heart wrenching! Unfortunate that he can’t understand why you don’t want to throw your son out of the house.
    I’m hoping he will come around when he realizes what he is losing by being adamant in that regard.

    Shared by springshine.

    — Added by First30Days on August 28th, 2009

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