"Thank you for the daily encouragements. Reading and following the daily suggestions gives me a different outlook on my life." -Chris
Read More Testimonials»

Our Being Happier Experts

Michael Anthony

Michael Anthony

Teacher and author of How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Tim Ferriss

Tim Ferriss

Entrepreneur and best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
M.J. Ryan

M.J. Ryan

Creator of the Random Acts of Kindness series

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our New Directions Experts»

Got a Question?


If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question:How can a person go about getting out of the depression rut?

I've been out of work for over a year now. There are so many things I want to do right now and it frustrates me very much that I don't have the resources available to do so, and debt is a big factor. I keep trying to tell myself that things will get better, but it doesn't seem to work. I've always wanted to be attractive to women, but it seems the only way that happens is if you're a rich man nowadays.

Asked by kuroamurai on 7/17/09 2 Answers»


Women appreciate a man with confidence. Just be happy
with yourself and stay in the present moment and you never
know what possibilities can happen. Have fun try not to be
serious all the time. Life is very interesting, do not let a day
pass by without being a part of it. Stay awake and relax.

Answered by: rawdesigns on 12/22/09


Kuroamurai - It sounds like you have been struggling with quite a few things at once, which I'm sure can be very overwhelming and make it even harder to get out of your rut.

There is a lot of research that shows that your mood and emotions are linked to your physical state. So if you find that you're sitting on the couch a lot watching tv, it makes it hard for your brain to switch out of being depressed.

One thing you could try is to get your body moving in some way - take a walk around your neighborhood for 15 minutes, and for the first few minutes, focus on breathing deeply while you walk. Then, while you're still walking, spend a few minutes thinking about all the things you're grateful for (even if you're not feeling very grateful right now - push yourself) - the people, the things, the technology, anything that comes to mind.

Last, as you are wrapping up your walk, picture in your mind what you want in your life, and imagine having those things, whether it's a job you enjoy, the financial resources you want, how you envision your body to be, or a special person in your life. Really get those images in your mind as much as you can, and imagine what it will feel like to have or be those things.

Once you get back home, you might try using what you visualized to create some specific goals. Check out the different areas of First 30 Days for some ideas and ways to work toward those goals.

Good luck and take care.

Answered by: jbrstrategies on 7/29/09
Got an Answer?