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Basketball Mom needs help with coping?

carlabeau

Are there any other Basketball Mom's who sit back and watch their sons play ball with their Dad's. The games come before church, before family reunions, and before fun. Then comes high school and they have to play for the best in the area. When does it stop? The D1 schools are now calling, writing, and we're still not there yet. What bothers me most is I am supposed to support my Son and I do, but the games make me sick. I feel bad if they lose, I feel bad if my son has a bad game, I feel bad if the coach is unfair to my son. UGH talk about making me sick. If the game doesn't the politics surely do. Why is that? I can handle stress... I just can't seem to handle stress from sports because isn't it just supposed to be a game? Yeah right. BTW-- Did I mention my son does love this stuff and there is no doubt he is enduring this stuff because of the love. He must. Any advice to a Mom who just wants to clap, and cheer her son on, and hear or see no evil.

Shared by carlabeau on 12/1/08
eherzer

I know that you have probably experienced this too - but my older son (24) knows and appreciates my ways and "positive" outlook... my 16 year old son - not as much yet. It is their age and hormones - it could not possibly be us - because we are wonderful ;) And, they are so much more ok with all of this than we are. So have fun tonight!

  • By eherzer
  • on 12/3/08 11:17 AM EST
carlabeau

Thank you E! Tonight is another game, and my goal is to relax, support, and not get caught up in the "feeling bad" for my son. Funny thing, he is really ok. Last night he was watching a video of his game and I was being so positive it actually annoyed him. So, I took Kiki's advice and went to my office and worked on my change seminar that we're having in January. He was oblivious and kissed me good night just like any other night. So lesson learned. Focus on my goals when his worry me. :) ha-ha was that to be my lesson.

eherzer

Carla, it is so hard because as mothers we always want our children to be happy. Your son is fortunate though that he has a home that is full of support and love - and that goes a long way. I think sports, being a part of a team and all of the discipline that goes along with it is so good for kids. It will help him prepare for his life ahead, as life is not always easy either. If he is passionate about it all you can do is support him, and provide the balance he needs in the other areas of his life. The lessons he learns on and off the court will stay with him for life. And, just know that there are a lot of other mothers out there with you feeling the same way and supportive of you and your feelings about this.

  • By eherzer
  • on 12/2/08 4:56 PM EST
carlabeau

Thanks Kiki, very sweet. You are right, and I am so glad he has a healthy passion that he loves. I believe he has enough fun time with friends, and socializing but wish it was more smoothe sailing for him sometimes. I get upset because I know how hard he works, and when things do not go well for him and he is upset, then I get upset. I try to talk to him and help him but he gets mad. I sit and anticipate his moods and mine goes downhill with his. I ned to keep positive, and supportive, and learn how to deal with this "stuff". Yes I do have passions, I like to keep fit myself, and I have lots of "projects" that I am in the middle of that are good for me professionally and personally. My son is actually one of the people that I bounce my ideas off of. Thank you for your note and time today I do feel better! :)

Kiki76

As a former competitive swimmer, I understand that it must be hard for you as a parent—but be glad that your son does have a passion, and a healthy one at that!

My mom and dad got very stressed for us too. I think the best thing they did was to still treat us like kids. We had a schedule, we had time off from the pool, we had fun. They always let us know that it was our choice to swim, and if we wanted out at any time we could—no questions, no coercing us back in.

Keep supporting your son, and try to find something to feel good about in all this! Try also to find something else to focus on if you need to—what is YOUR passion?

  • By Kiki76
  • on 12/2/08 10:04 AM EST