Barring the Outside World

One of the hardest things to do as a new mom is to truly create the space for your new family to get to know each other. It’s common that family and friends will barge in with their excitement about the new baby. Life circumstances can also make it seem impossible to just focus on your transition. This is not the time to be the gracious hostess or the competent cook, cleaner, thank you note writer and certainly not the responsible employee or business owner. You have a very limited job in these first weeks—it is to sleep, eat, drink water, feed your baby and go to the bathroom and keep yourself clean. That’s it!

Here are some ways to begin creating a space for your family:

• Record a new message on your voice mail or send an email telling your family and friends the baby’s name, birth date and stats along with the fact that you won’t be returning calls or emails for several weeks.
• Ask your husband, partner or a trusted family member to be the gatekeeper. They need to say “no” to or limit lengthy visits and say “yes” to cleaning, laundry and cooking support.
• Make a conscious commitment to how many days/weeks you’re taking for just nesting with your new family. Block off the time on your calendar—don’t “get back to normal” before that date.