Making It as a New Mom

It is vitally important for new moms to remember their biggest support—their husbands and partners. For single mothers, it is their friends and family who have committed to help raise the child. The initial period after a child is born can be hard on relationships. “There can be a real crash after a few weeks where the honeymoon is over,” notes Ellen. Exhaustion, short tempers and the unrelenting pace of new parenthood can take its toll. Successful couples practice flexibility and honest communication.

“Different things work for different couples. For us, sleeping in separate rooms for the first weeks was so much easier,” says Kristen. “Even though I wanted to be with my husband, I knew he really needed the sleep to be able to work every day, so that’s what we worked out.”

The first 30 days are a remarkable time, unique for each baby and mother. The most important ingredient for success is for every new mom to go easy on herself.

“I was the inexperienced mother of a professional baby—after all, she had a five-month head start on me,” says adoptive mom Gabrielle Peacock. “The trick was synching up everything: jet lag, life lag and language lag. Once I accepted that we were both struggling to sync with each other and our new lives, it made it easier not to be so hard on myself and have more realistic expectations.”

And Jay reminds women that the first 30 days is about “starting to find your way to be a mother. Embrace the ups and downs and make it your own.”

*Name has been changed.