You wanted me to pinpoint times that I am happy. Today i have been feeling very anxious, not sure why but my anxiety was very high. I went for a walk with my son. It is a nice day, the sun felt good. We picked wild strawberries along the side of the rode. I realized that this is when I feel the most happy, when things are simple and carefree. I am not trying to be someone I am not. I am not a business woman and I don't like dealing with everything that goes along with it. I have a job, I am a nurse. I like that I can work my shift, do a good job, and then come home and not have to think about it until the next shift. Our business is based from home so I never get away from it.
I just wanted to say that it is nice to have a reply, finally someone is listening to me.

Thank you for the reply. The last time I was truly, truly happy was about 5 years ago. I had lost 30 pounds and I was so proud of myself for doing it. I did it on my own with diet and exercise. My body felt good, I had lots of energy and I liked what I saw in the mirror. Our business was doing well also, clients were calling constantly, we were expanding and money was coming in. That lasted about 2-3 years. I have since gained all the weight back and business is not going so well. I am under constant stress. My husband won't talk about it with me because he knows how much it bothers me. He is the eternal optimist. I am not very optimistic right now. It has drawn a wedge between us that I don't know if it can be repaired. I don't know where to start, what is the first step to get out from under this dark cloud?

Now that's a comment, nessagirldc. Thanks.