The Book

I am in a graduate writing program and working on a novel. When I first started the program, I thought I would just write some short stories, maybe a few plays, and mostly end up an academic. But then I got the idea for this book, and my whole life changed. I began to realize that I was fossilizing in academia and that I wanted out. I began to remember that my childhood dream was to write, not to teach. It's not that I don't love teaching and I don't love my students--it's just that I have a different call for my life.

Since my "sea change" occurred, I have written the first draft of the novel, workshopped that draft here at school, realized the novel needed to be completely reshaped, gone back and completely rewritten it, and I'm now almost done revising the final part of Draft #2. I will be defending an edited version of this second draft in November, and then I will take what I learn in the defense and apply it to another revision. At that point, I plan to send out the book--but here's where I get tied up. I am TERRIBLE at marketing myself and have an irrational fear of rejection. I'm trying to get over that, but it's always been a problem for me and has held me back from publishing my work. So I'm working to change that.

I'm also working--using The 30 Days Book--to redefine what I actually want from myself and what I dare to dream. I have always been at odds somewhat with the other people in my graduate program. I believe art can sell, that there does not have to be a line between the two. But I keep feeling like people here just want to pat me on the head and tell me this is all only an academic exercise, and that the book will go nowhere beyond this project. I am SO not listening to them, because in my gut, in my spirit, and in my heart, I believe that the book could be something. But I know I also have to be ready to let go of my old life and move on into the new. So as I continue to rework the book, I want to begin to move into the next phase of my life, which will be preparing to market myself and my work. I'm hoping this site will help give me the courage to do that, and to undo the years of negativity that I've let grad school sew in me.

Make sense?