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What change are you going through? Thinking of making?
(note that you will be helping others as your story will be shared on the site and all of us will try and help you)
Where to now??
I am a 58 year old widow of 5 yrs. who married the love of my life at age 14. We had a very happy 38yrs. before he passed in his sleep one night as I laid beside him. He was only 58 years old, why did he have to die? My life as I knew it ended that day. We had a small business we ran together with a backhoe, dozer and dump truck. Basically I was the physical labor person and he was the operator, which was ok with me. I loved hard work , I would lay pipe, level gravel,etc.,tho it left me with a permanent back injury I am now trying to live with. Because of the debt involved in owning the machinery we used I had to sell it and my home to pay some of the debts. I purchased a mobile home and put it on my son's property. Things seemed to be calming then my mobile caught fire and burned while I was at work parttime as a cook at a local cafe. That was a year ago and I am still living with my son and his family. My disability check is barely enough to exist on, much less gain any. I feel like giving up. How can I ever get anywhere or become independent again? My son helps me but I have told him often his family comes first. I want to love life again but sems I am fighting a loosing battle.
Shared by: brenda58 on 9/17/09
Dear Brenda,
Change is the law of life and you have certainly had your fair share. You are lucky to have had 37yrs with the 'love of your life'. Most people cannot say that. Be grateful for that. Now, you say, 'your life ended that day'.
Right now, life is giving you the opportunity to remember who you are- you are not a victim, you are not the 'little me', who thinks something terrible happened and has been taken away from you. You are much more powerful and resilient than that.
Your mind is going to have you believe all sorts of garbage and basically, drag you into the basement. Its time to see that your mind is doing that, but you are not your mind. So when your mind makes you feel terrified, or tells you you have no future or you dont know what's next, thank it, but then go to the part of yourself that is strong, is guided, knows the way...
If you keep believing the negativity your mind is feeding you, its hard for the higher part of yourself to show you the way.
Make a commitment to not let negative thoughts enter your mind, at least for a few weeks. There's a whole new life waiting for you, But you are still staring at the closed door, what's gone.
Grieve the loss, of course- feel all those feelings, welcome them. When the sadness comes- say, Welcome sadness, feel it fully. But remember, you are not the sadness, you are not the fear...its just a feeling passing through. Witness it, detach from it. Then you will feel safe and grounded again.
I promise you, something good will come from all this- its what i call, The Change Guarantee. Works 100% of the time.
Your late husband wants you to do something wonderful. If you dont know what that is just yet, here is a secret- find a way to serve, to help, to contribute, to help someone else....that always works. And then life finds a way to help you.
Next, take care of yourself, your health. Do anything good for yourself. When you take care of you, your energy, your stress, your body, you feel happier, you start loving yourself and then life again. Its simple.
SEED- Sleep, Exercise, Eat Well, Drink (water!)
just do those 2 things for a while and see what happens.
This too shall pass.
Anything is possible. You are courageous and life is conspiring for good things for you....so stop the negative mind, chatter, stop the story of what happened and start telling the story of what you now want to have happen.
Let me know how things go
With love and lots of optimism,
Ariane